Overheard....

Overheard - "absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it only makes the eye wander," female co-worker offering "BAD" advice to another re: her ongoing long distance relationship dilemma.

Because I have an extreme amount of work today, there is no poem.. there is this..

how do i love thee,

let me count the days...

i find u in every moment i breathe...

every second that gives way til tomorrow..

it is your face i see in the space between

my heart's thoughts and it's beats' words...

u are my sun set and moon rise..

my day and night.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moon meets sun during mid-day rendezvous,
Snow caresses raindrops
I beg my foot steps to betray my quicken heart beats,
And turn to you…
To greet our past moments of happenstance and circumstance,
Peel away the my self annihilation
Strip me of my inhibitions.....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If I didn’t know them
my words would stumble,
trip and fall for you
over and over.
again and again.
I taste the hauntingly
familiar,
my body gently quakes
I savor the flavor
That mends my aches
and breaks,
at each and every break of dawn
break in the rain clouds threatening
to drown my blue skies
breaks in crumbled promises made
by those who’d trade
the assurance of lies
for the uncertainty of truth.
you a graciously simple constant
the one I hold dear
cradling my fears,
brushing away tears,
and damn… I wish you were near.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

gimme...

gimme,
gimme one reason to stop.
turn.
rethink
the beauty that lies
within the
mirrored
pain in
the brown of our eyes.
simply
hope
birthed from
the exploration of
possibilities.
gimme.
gimme one glimmer
of light,
and i will
transform it
to a shooting star
barreling
and burrowing
burning the core
of my
shaken,
not stirred foundation.
drunken
by angered faith
and misguided
love,
always questioning.
gimme.
gimme hope
and i will
learn prayer............
-----#####---------
sometimes i wish for nothing other then an opportunity to wish
-----***--------------
run wildly like freedom and fall courageously like children, eventually the momentum will transform your steps and trips into flight!!!
---------------------

1- a week of understanding
2 - friends
3- distance and space to grow
4 - love
5 - family
6 - phone calls
7 - g.o.d.
9 - long drives
10 - music
11 - a language the angels understand (truth and faith)
12 - a good friend's birthday and her safe return
13 - prayer

prayerful chillaxin'

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
Proverbs 25:15

nothing........

You greasey one, go take a nap!!!! (LOL)

HAPPY BORN DAY

Angel L Wilson

aka

SUPER WOMAN!!!!

Happy Birthday to one of the greatest gifts I could receive in this lifetime. Your invaluable friendship!
I know this is probably gonna embarrass the heck out of you, but who cares, right?
Here's the thing! (LOL)
A.L.W. aka Super Woman
you have been the best thing since sliced bread, my ELM and the Wii system. You are as reliable as prayer and I know you are a GODSEND. It's almost like my village picked you personally to make sure my flighty, goofy, wayward butt got things kind of right most of the time. You HAVE ALWAYS BEEN the epitome of friend. And I don't know how to thank you.
Me and the little balled fist one aka "SNACKER" miss you immensely!!! And can't wait for you to return!
Anyway, I know that Gladys, Granny and the PIP are taking good care of you. Selfishly enough, we wish you were here to celebrate with you. Enjoy YOUR DAY. See you soon. And we've never stopped!

Love ya, like cooked food and air conditioning (in other words, life would be pretty hard without you!)
kim

mary OF bethany

I was once some one’s daughter…
I was birthed just outside my mother’s womb,
encapsulated by her dread.
My familial blood line
and pulse feed the inherent fear
(that has been) tattooed upon us
since man evolved from all fours
to beast.
Loneliness and laughter engulf me
like indecisive walls of forgotten sentiment.
Jaggedly they pummel against my intellect and will
thrashing any remnant
of conviction and good judgment…
And I float.
I float like a perplexed
arch angel
reddened by the viciousness
of hypocrisy
and the compulsion of duty…
I loom,
like the 13th apostle courageously
carrying out
an heroic feat of treason
embarrassed by the
twelve’s valiant gesture of
redemption.
I hover atop whimsical
dreams and streams
that seems convincingly conniving.
I’ve been here before;
the colors have never been more deceitful.
Red and yellow dye dying skies
a vivid, fleeting fiery shaded hue.
Rays of arctic orange,
burn cold, no hint of blue.
I’m crying, lying and dying
for a glimpse of you…
Yet all the colors in the world
could never tint the sterility of white
over the selfishness of black,
painting my world
UNINSPIRING…
Wrinkled and crumpled
life’s graying arms,
timidly embrace
my humored aloneness;
holding me like my mother
motionless and unconscious
affected only by the warmth
of her memories’ mortality.
And I feel secure all around for the very first time.
This is my inheritance,
a life on bended knees
lacking absolution and thoughtful prayer.
Exchanging my womanly humanness
for survival and change..
the clink and chill of silver
fall through fingers
and quickly as the last john’s semen
from my tongue and cheek.
Cheeky, I know, but
I was once someone’s daughter
before I was swallowed by these streets.
can i not be forgiven?
I stand behind you weeping
in shame,
my hair, unkempt,
not worthy to wash your feet...
To be continued.
kdtaylor, 2009
Section 8 Coffee
All rights reserved..

----------------------------
this was a writing lab project,
used a Scrabble letter (l) picked the word loneliness
and then from the AMAZING K.O.R.I.M.
I chose a line from a poem he recently wrote about his sister..
"open arms, hold me like my mother, secure for the first time"
i switched them around a bit...
Also, I'm hoping to use this as my first human trafficking piece..
don't know..

smile

averygratefulme....

01) grace, opportunity, destiny. (g.o.d.)
02) good, orderly direction (g.o.d.)
03) guidance, optimism, and determination (g.o.d.)
04) recognizing people and their respective seasons
05) the arms and shoulders of good friends, i.e. staying in your lane, and being what i need (no question, simply a laugh, a joke, a smile, a text, an e-mail and a hug! it means a lot.)
06) g.o.d.'s ear i.e. diligent prayer
07) facebook and my monkey
08) long drives with good music
09) my sisters (blood and kinship!)
10) my nieces (blood and kinship)
11) a new meaning for 13! Superwoman, if u fly by...
12) patience and kindness
13) And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept _________, I could not stay _________; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. AMEN

porque me escuchas

Overheard… "What is it about make-up sex? He ain't gettin' this, I'm still mad!"

Anyone who REALLY knows me knows this.. if you don't, listen (READ) closely, "withholding affection in a relationship is grounds for termination, just because your MIND is MAD doesn't mean your body is!!!"

I wasn't suppose to be a part of this conversation, they were talking loudly as I was passing; so I wrote a poem about it!!!

Lo siento, te amo
Baby, please.
let me disrobe
the intensity of your resentment.
excite your searing rage.
skillfully search for the source of your fury,
to find if our love is still here.
allow me to offer a sincere request for forgiveness;
starting with the deepest wrinkles
furrowed within your brow.
i will
slowly, deliberately
exchange the dampness
of my apologetic kisses
with your angered perspiration.
Baby, please.
let fingertips,
and hint of lips
pursue and conquer
the fervor knotted
within the small of your
back as it responds
to the
moistness
escaping from my
quickened breaths.
arching
in anticipation,
desperately
defying
it's yearning insistence
for my touch.
Baby, please.
permit my tongue
to knead and massage
the hurt
it has caused.
consent to an inkling
of forgiveness…
bend and swing
the fullness of hips
and thighs
methodically,
erotically
against
mine…
let your heart resolve,
what your psyche
cannot fathom
in this moment;
the failing and falling
of cautious fragility
like lacy lingerie
against
the nakedness of
charmed persistence.
Baby, please.
linger in the space
between
anticipation
and absolution.
listen to the
enamoured silence
dribbling,
dripping,
trickling,
seeping
streaming!
divulging
your body's betrayal.
take note
of base notes
tugging gently
at
heart strings...
a
sycophancy
escaping
from
the fullness of breast
the wetness of sighs,
sweaty sweet caresses
and pleas of bitter compassion
empathizing with
engaging passion
Baby please.
align
your
body with
mine,
relax your mind
and unwind,
imagine
our bodies
entwined
in mind,
what's mine
will always
be mine.
allow our
heated tenderness
to remind..
your mind
and body
that we are
hard to define,
and there
is no better
love
in mind
than
the one i
call,
"mine."
Baby, please.
kdtaylor
section 8 coffee publications
all rights reserved

ame caerse de páginas y pétalos

u ask y…
and i wish.
i wish
i could ascend the lofty
distinction
between
an under-
taking
and a promise.
bridge the gap
linking
intention
and
action.
run the distance
connecting
adoration
and
admiration…
but I can’t.
my trepidation
suffers
from an acute case of
cowardice.
the hero in me
ate a bit too
much baloney
and is sick to
her stomach.
cheesy,
i know.
though
if assurances
were flowers
I would choose
them more
carefully ..
prayerfully.
contemplating
each and every
one
before
clumsily
reaching toward
and clasping them
in my hesitant hands.
i would vow
to cherish the
delicacy
of moments
graciously accepting
the timeless
flawlessness
in every petal's
splendor;
of it’s frailty.
appreciating!
knowing!
that
one day
it too shall demise.
in times of darkness.
I must be ready
to sacrafice
strength
accept humility; and
transcend my moon light
to sun rays.
(if i could)
if only for a second
to keep it sustained.
and in defeat
strongly face
the brillance
of it’s transition
from
body
to spirit!
like our
love
it doesn't have to
die.
or be crushed...
simply cherished...
tucked tightly into the
leaflets and pages
for some one
some where
to find...
to open
to read
to watch
us..
stumble
tragically
from
this
life's
pages....


kdtaylor, 2009
section 8 coffee
all rights reserved

writing lab

It is written that
every daughter who
posses an inheritance in any tribe of children
Shall be wife unto the family…
Though faceless
shameless
And nameless
I was once some one’s daughter
Yet, I have no inheritance
Nor allegiance
My people
Burned life on both
Ends
Trite and bright
They clutch street corners
As desperately
As sallow ladies
and coin purses
engulfed in darkness.
Light only
offering a glimmer
of hope for
one at the expense
of another.
Iconic and ironic.
There is no gray!
Needle pricks dubbed oil wells
in pit of elbow,
top of fore arm
and
‘tween toes
splashed with
Indian ink tramp stamps
replace tribal marks.
Drunken stupors and
opium induced nods
shade lucidity;
transcending
dreams dancing horrifically
with my nightmares
which astound.
Even during waking hours.
I have no blood line that
stretches
to any time
other than
mine.
And my choices have
erased the inkling
of my existence.
I have a covenant with G.O.D.
I ride
STRAPLESS
And I won’t complain.
Topless
Without
brakes
we speed through
Intersections
carelessly, courageously.
I gulp down
ill bred fear
inconsiderate
of reality.
I have a covenant with
G.O.D.
who loved
everyone whose
ever loved me
more than me
as justification to take them away from me.
I have a covenant with
G.O.D
and I don’t ask questions
I’ve seen curiosity
choke the clandestine
certainty
Of the smarted cat
And I won’t be made an example.
I have a covenant with G.O.D.
whose Grace, Opportunity and Destiny
allows me to ride
Even when I don’t understand the journey,


---------------------------------------------

not sure what i'm going to do with this, but it was a fun exercise..

opposite day, Saturday 14th

my heart called out for you
today..
a momentary whisper betraying all
i
WANT
and
am determined to be.
it's beats pounded cryptic messages
through space and time
etched itself
upon
sand dunes and mountain sides
in a frigid desert
of a northern hemisphere
on a planet
in a galaxy yet
to be discovered.
it said everything
and
nothing
and it wasn't until
i felt the faint
dampness of
it's tear upon my breast
did i realize..
perhaps,
i wanted to search
within it
and find the
meaning
of
it's
thump thump



thump thump



thump thump...



-------------------------------

One Three on Friday One Three @ 1:30

Superstition is the weakness of the human mind; it is inherent in that mind; it has always been, and always will be...
fredrick the great

Superstition is poetry of life, so that it does not injure the poet to be superstitious
wolfegang von goethe

today she wages a new battle... NO ONE can AFFORD to believe the 13th offers anything LESS than hope....

Nunca he conocido las paredes que no he construido

on january 20th, i began my birthday at 8:00 am. i lay on a make shift pallet, celebrating my birthday over the phone watching Obama with carrot top, one of my closest friends. we've known each other since the 6th and 7th grade when we shared the social awkwardness of being born to the wrong parents, in the wrong city, on the wrong side of town. mind you we weren't poor, our parents weren't abusive, nor were we living in some urban plight that most made for tv series stemmed from.

we simply wanted, wished, and unlike most kids our age, knew that there was something bigger than that moment, something special that waited for us outside the gym walls of riley jr. high school.

that morning was flooded with phone calls and well wishes from friends i met along my journey in this life.

ironic, the latter part of my birthday was spent with another friend who defines me as much as carrot top. she has been closer to me than i have been to myself. she has been my conscious, and has inspired me in many ways, even SHE WILL NEVER KNOW. I just continue to grow through our unlikely, yet made in heaven friendship. she, she and i make three. and that night as i looked past the feigned courage and stared face to face with the youngest of the trios fear. i knew our lives would never be the same.

unbeknown to me, she and she made plans to celebrate my birthday with me; however, life had different plans. our fear was realized. we would later find that our rock had, yet again suit up to wage another battle. and it hurts. i hurt and am ...

well never mind. this isn't about carrot top. nor is this about her. or her. this is about me.

it wasn't the best birthday, it wasn't the worst birthday, it began and ended with who i was suppose to be with, who i needed to be with doing what i've always wanted to be. A FRIEND.

yet every day since my birthday, i have been struggling. struggling and grappling with anything and everything. daily there has been something i needed to re-evaluate and make appropriate choices. i recognized if i were to die tomorrow, i would HAVE REGRETS, and i don't want anymore!!!

Serious ones, relating to career, choices, education, places to live, how i live and love. so i invented the monkey to assist me in doing some of the things i really want to do... from now one i will live how i want, do what i want, go where i want, i will not miss an opportunity in the life to live happily.

there are too many people who would kill to exchange places with me..

in other words, i've know no walls other than those i have built...

me and the monkey are on FIYAH!!!

ps...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Adrienne Henderson

Carrot Top

I LOVE YOU, BABY SIS!!

and to you

super woman if u fly by

HAPPY DAY BEFORE IT ALL

i love u

u consider to inspire me.....

para todas estas cosas y mucho más

1. god's grace
2. love of familiy (thanks SIS!)
3. langston (i mean damn?)
4. wii fit
5. skinny jeans
6. my sex in the city (we kilt the 4th bitch!) crew
7. chelle and her babies. thanks for letting me play second momma, and thanks for knowing i do care...
8. my blog.. i mean you can see i'm writing.
9. THE MONKEY (u gotta be on facebook to understand)
10. simple understanding
11. clarity
12. promise of more
13. knowledge there is more

and last but not least, face book for bringing me back in contact with my closest friends in the WORLD. (phoenix and carrot top!!!)

la conciencia de su fe es seguro que vengan a ti

crisp quiet slips from lips

communes with fingertips:

trips falls in slight split

in cusped aged hands in prayer..
cool breeze pick pockets dreams,

leaves penny for change (not wise and despised)

to turn on dime, changing a frame of mind,

I can no longer afford.
I place stones in my pockets

to measure my weight against despondency.
I want to be heavy!
I move through shape shifting hopelessness,

attaching myself to the blue print of your existence.
I mean if not for your avoidance,

how would I know I was truly alive?
cobblestone sheets I sleep

heartbeats racked with the irregular gap of footsteps

drum the inevitable.

pounding, gripping tightly against my flesh and bones.
I try desperately to pull the dirt and mortar

to cover my eyes,

push back against the back drop

dropping angered silence a top my head.
IT IS ALARMING
I stage fights against bitter memories

slithering through me.

Destroying every THING and ONE I aspire to be..
Choking on sullen ponderances

I offer my soul to thee?
My God have you forgotten about me?
or am I not your people,

the descendant of Hosea

unyielding.
Withstanding...

to be continued

kdtaylor, 2009
Section 8 Coffee
all rights reserved

En la actualidad vemos indistintamente, como en un espejo, pero entonces cara a cara

I’m packing…
tucking away pledges of unyielding love,
happily ever afters,
and assurances of perpetual tomorrows
lingering somewhere
linking
the insistent wetness of
dried caked over tears
to the deafness of God’s ears.
I can promise,
he ain’t answering
cuz he ain’t listening.
i’ve spoken in human
and angelic tongues,
my pleads clanging against
the chattering of thousands
begging and seeking
eternal salvation.
I mean baby,
in this dark and lonely night,
how can I ask g.o.d.
to remove the stained pain of
YOU from heart,
when somewhere
OUT THERE
SOMEONE
is in a life or death struggle,
and would gladly accept
the strain of my
pain
in exchange
for another day!
I’m packing…
starting with saccharine sentiments
baby pink and lady blues,
confusing senses
and sensibilities
criss-crossing
tongues and buds.
yet I know the true taste of love,
it is bitter, raw, savory and sweet.
tart, like the bitter charm of a first kiss….
a perfect combination
of snickers, peppermint and pickles,
with the incessant desire to wipe
tell - tell grins from our face…
it is elementary pinky swears,
spin the bottle,
truth or dares..
i mean...
sometimes,
just sometimes
it's not gonna fall the way we like...
to be continued...
kdtaylor, 2009
section 8 coffee
all rights reserved

AZUL del kimmie

la esencia de nosotros

El amor nunca se da por vencido, nunca pierde la fe, la esperanza es siempre, y perdura a través de cada circunstancia..

Yo me siento como regresar a casa. ....

Etheridge Knight is one of my favorite poets. I am not a substance abuser, drunk, nor am I chemically dependent. While I have visited numerous jails and prisons I have not spent an entire night confined in a cell, out side of the ones I've created, you know that self imposed solitude within your mind, soul and heart. The first time I heard "This year there is a grave stone wall damming my stream, and when the falling leaves stir my genes, I pace my cell or flop on my bunk and stare at 47 black faces across the space. I am all of them, they are all of me, I am me, they are thee, and I have no sons to float in the space between." The Idea of Ancestry, Etheridge Knight.... The words hit me like hip hop hit most, or as a poet friend says the first time he and a bunch of friends saw Breakin' or Beat Street. I knew there was a connection, and this man's words were powerful, and (continue) to live at the very core of my (lonely) being....I have to go home. I awoke this morning with a sense of loss. I love driving, yet I loathe that drive... With each turn of the wheel, with each heart beat, I feel longing, a sense of loss, the need to escape, totally disconnected. I have no sons to float in the space between..."I feel like going home......" But where do you go, when nothing and no one is waiting for you at the end of the road? I mean aside from memory laced nightmares, broken dreams, and an empty glass over flowing with blackened tears. I say empty, 'cuz, I lie, nothing ever quite captures my pain and sense of loss. I say black because it absords everything. It is not the absence of light, as most would want you to believe. And I am not absent of light. Neither are my tears. But they are empty. Shallow. Again, because I lie. Most things are superficial, seldom a connection. I feel like going home, but I have no sons to float in the space between. I have secrets, that eat away me. I want love, but I don't know how to.. REALLY! There was, and is ALWAYS something to float but it would overwhelm that space between, I AM selfish and self seeking. I carried hope for a few days, became overwhelmed in despair, and remained empty. I have no sons to float in the space between. I feel like going home. But there's nothing there. Falling leaves stir my genes... they are waiting at the end of the road. But to face them means to face a past I want to forget. I feel like going home. I am all of them and they are all of me. Great-grand says she's all I have. She has two that she teaches the same. "You are all you have", she tells them, "take care of each other, don't let anyone hurt the other." "I AM ALL I HAVE, I TELL MYSELF!" And each morning, I awake heavy with sweat and regret disguised as (negative) optimism. She sounds just like my great-grand. I sound like their ghosts. ANGRY AND FORLORN. I am reminded. I have no sons to float in the space between. Will the simple laugh that greets our souls, between the secrets that leak between bleeding heart beats, be enough to sustain, to forget for a moment. Or will I simply be reminded that I AM all I have. And that revelation within itself pains. There are more, yet... I have removed enough stones, and while my pockets are heavy, I am willing to to trudge the waters and pray they are not too deep. Baby, I feel like going home.......

yo nunca podría reemplazar su sombra de azul

I remember when you believed in me for no other reason, other than the possibilities of us and our love. Feeling that you deserved more than your past indicated or dictated. More than that which could be seen or imagined. Breathing. Falling. Your wish was to simply connect with another on a deeper level, where often verbal communication was was no longer a factor or needed. That you, and your lover had taken the time to know the intimate details of each other's desires, and that your mind, well your minds, were mere blueprints to the other's soul. See, neither of us were willing to settle, and were no longer fans of beautiful relationships. Breathing. Falling. We believed, imagined and lived as if there was so much more for us. And we were willing to explore each and every possibility fearlessly. To leave no stone unturned, and to never allow pride or our tongues to destroy a single moment. Moments we would build upon, moments which would eventually become our life, and in our twilights, we would reflect and laugh, dying without resentment or regret. Don't you remember? I remember the first time I recognized the brown in your eyes held my reflection. I remember when goodbyes were opportunities to say hello. No door was closed or back turned without a kiss. Breathing. Falling. I remember falling asleep not quite knowing where you began and I end. That my dreams held your scent and touch, even on those nights when we were apart. Without you, I did not feel lonely, there was always a sense of comfort as your essence remained and lingered. I recall holding your silhouette whispering I love you thru cellular towers, hoping that you could taste my sentiments in the breeze. And the only tears shed were those masked as perspiration upon our bodies during the course of our love making. We never cried. Don't you remember? I remember calling you for no other reason other than to hear your voice. That every story you told was brand new, a chance for me to get to know you better. I remember wanting to know you so well that we finished each other's sentences and began each other's thoughts. That ecstacy exisited just past your lips and fingertips. I remember wishing I knew you as a child, to share your triumphs and learn from your defeats. I remember all dusks and dawns were welcomed with your voice, your touch, or your kiss. And that you were never more than a thought away. I remember peonies, freeshia, and sunsets. Rose petals floating a top milky bubble baths. When infactuation was mistaken for adoration, adoration for infactuation, but we both knew the love would last forever. When my spirit mirrored your image, your image seemingly the purpose of my exsistence, for you were, and still are heaven sent. And you were birthed and lived just outside God's blue hues. Breathing. Falling. Breathing. Inhaling your spirit, exhaling our lives. Breathing. Falling. Breathing. I remember colors.... I remember breathing. I remember falling...I remember falling in love with shades of blue skies that represent you. I remember rainy days give way to blue skies because of you. I remember that I can soar among blue skies and clouds with you. I remember when shades of blue outlined my path to your soul. I remember blue lights luminating from your smile. I remember your hues of blue chased away my shades of blue. I remember ocean's blues could never be compared to the depth of your blue. I remember breathing your blue. I remember feeling your blue. I remember singing your blue. I remember falling for your blue. I remember colors. I remember shades of blue will always represent you..... Don't you remember?

And now I all feel is the sterile of the blue. The cold gaze from clouded eyes filled with blue shades of truth and you. The hazy grayed of blue that swallows and engulfs the beauty of you. The steel of blue piercing the heart of forgiveness, as apologies lie lifeless on the toungues before every reaching your deaf ears. The turn of blue, swishing cherished memories to broken promises. The sharp of blue, slashing flesh leaving whips and marks a royal purpled bruise. The heaviness of blues songs strangling and choking hope from faith. Baby, I don't want to know this hue. Yet it's tinted our perfect shade of blue, me and you. I still remember colors. I remember breathing. I remember falling...I remember falling in love with shades of blue skies that represent you. I remember rainy days give way to blue skies because of you. I remember that I can soar among blue skies and clouds with you. I remember when shades of blue outlined my path to your soul. I remember blue lights luminating from your smile. I remember your hues of blue chased away my shades of blue. I remember ocean's blues could never be compared to the depth of your blue. I remember breathing your blue. I remember feeling your blue. I remember singing your blue. I remember falling for your blue. I remember colors. I remember shades of blue will always represent you..... Don't you remember?

para todas estas cosas y más… gracias

g.o.d. (good orderly direction)

my tree despite the falling leaves, I've always loved Autumn.

A date with three beautiful young ladies....

pain that forces growth or is it the other way around?

g.o.d.

I. Corinthians 13:13

Her LIFE!!!!

g.o.d. (grace, opportunity and destiny)

Her pit bull LOVE!!!!

another day.

another breath.

g.o.d. (guidance, optimism and determination)

cleansing strength

Langston

friends

HIS LIFE

words

...and yes, i feel it coming in the air....

piensa que cuando llega la perfección, el imperfecto desaparece...

i no longer wish (that)
i did
not long 4 u
want 2 hold u
B near u
build &
kneel B4 an alter
4U
n prayerful thanks...
2day
my heart crumbles
under the weight
of my own
devices
drowning n the
musty sweat
of my suicidal hands..
&
i am fragile,
OLD
the frailty
of my humanness
and
inadequacies
has left me
stripped
of
every inhibition...
i have ever known...
i have never known
how
yet
wanted 2 love..
frantic and selfish
i clutch and grab
at it's fluttering wings,
like a tortured soul
flung from the tip
of mount Everest,
desperately
grasping
for the
indecisive safety
of the line
between
life and death.
and like u
i walk a tight rope,
tight lipped
weighing
&
crushing
B4 i ever had a chance to fly .....
i dream in extinct
colors
shaded fades
of black, greys and blues
with hints of you
flashing before
me...
i loosen grip
to fall
2bcontinued
kdtaylor, 2009
section 8 coffee
all rights reserved..
....................................
g.o.d. please be kind to kam..
and his family
....................................
and yes eb...
thanks for the peaceful comfort....
it does endure all things..
................................
super woman if you fly by
i got you....

todo HE DEJADO soy desteñido memorias

... u said she would fight until
her dust settled in your tracks.
greyed my bluing skies,
pains panged and multiplied!
shattering every memory of
your face
your grace...
that space.
(to) leave me in
this place...
wHERe
numbness tastes
sweet bitter with regret - (forgetting and romanticizing)
apologies
wrapped thickly 'round our tongue(s)
like rose petals
and thorns
in honey...
gelatinously heavy!
forcing our dignity
to choke on the sticky stubbornness
of it's pride
.................
that aside...
..................
i Still love HEr..
even if it means
i crawl!
even if it means
i
walk!
even if it means
i
run!
run
back toward and into
borrowed time
charged against
mine
chasing change,
lost
and forgotten chances,
once mores
baby please
one more
and another
time!
what i
believe
/feel
should
/will
always be mine..
.................
she
running in
tripping out
of my
mind
and..
heart
...............
aNd
i Still love HEr.
i chase
the
peony scented
recollections
carelessly
aS
HEr
blood curling demons
cradle my fragile sanity..
PUSHING
me
toward the
acridness
of
self destruction.
our thoughts
slow drag
shattering
illusions of
martyrdom.
(we)
hurl
dangerously
like the
clanging of glass doors
against iron corridors
.........................
u said she would fight til the grackles
devoured the bread crumbed
salt trail
u left behind.
dry and withered -
weathered storms
we could not forecast
or avoid.
and
i mistake you for rain (droplets)
disguising and hiding (my) tears
streaking
sullen faces...
i can never wipe you away.
yEt
i want to be drenched in her.
the umbrella filled with
promises to never leave
and wait for me
lies
foolisHly
by the rEd dooR
.........................
u said u would fight
til the sun and moon morphed to
a thousand noons
mimicking midnight...
and we'd be cloaked in the sunlight
of a memory
that could have been...

2bcontinued
..........................
kdtaylor 2009
section 8 coffee
all rights reserved

Ella es mi única pena verdadera, el regreso a mí... Yo la esperaré en tiempo pedido prestaddo...

....
fuck me gently
against sheets filled
with musical notes..
control the
the sharpness of
each pitch and moan
clashing, crashing
against
the stark reality
clanging
(the) dormant bells
within
my barren womb.
i empty!
a rusted vessel
a shell,
crumbling beneath
bombastic sounds
feigning silence.
ShE
thrusting from tongue
pushing past teeth,
thrashing 'tween gums
spewing off lips...
barreling through me
like a slave
with his first taste of freedom...
kdtaylor 2009
section 8 coffee
all rights reserved

==========

i am not a prophetic poet

but a skilled liar

----------
when all else fails pray... in a language (ONLY) the angels know (faith)
--------------------

i am the stone the builder refused,
i am NOT weak (he sees),
i will NOT crumble (he knows),
despite the pressures (he feels),
yet...
i am refused..
--------------------
listen...
----------------

cree que su corazón está minando al mismo tiempo que continúa a mendigar de por vida

Conjured hues of blued succulence

slip pasts tainted lips
painted and pouted

a different shade of rouge…

And I listen!

I listen for the hymn that bellows below her skirt.
trip past pits, pats and scats,
as her legs drum
the hum drum

drumming

sweet whispers

dancing

outside

my head.

And I listen.

I listen to

fingers snapping

hands clapping

clasping boldly against my spine

caressing, gently

plucking, pulling skin

skillfully.

sinfully.

and I wait.

I wait for

the big band

to swing right

bop left
arythmically

like shallowed

echoes

in each

and every step

she takes...

i can feel the

murmurings of

Miles

for miles

and miles

and i am mesmerized!

mesmerized

with want..

wanting her to

play me

curiously
raw and hard.

As she has

SO

many times before.

SHE
A random rhythm reddened by anger!

Rhythmically banging notes
like desires pounding

heat and sweat
a top entwined nakedness

of jealous lovers with

ravenous
passions
resisting the urge to FUCK!

2 b continued....

kdtaylor, 2009

section 8 coffee

all rights reserved

when you think your heart is eroding continue to beg for life

país que viven (el mundo sabe i)

The world I knowIs a world too slow(If you) Don't move fast enough, keep your head lowThe world I knowIs a world much too slowIf you can't move fast enough child, better stay on the low childAnd I want to lay in the passenger seat of a carWe could drive around all nightWe wouldn't have to go too farJust look at the starsThis night could be oursThe world I knowIs a world too slow(If you) Don't move fast enough, keep your head lowThe world I knowIs a world much too slowIf you can't move fast enough child, better stay on the low childAnd I want a life lover that'll go that farWe don't have to do this rightDo you know who you areThis ride could be oursJust look at those starsAnd we are never going homeThis ride is far too long to travel aloneAnd the moon will shine brightly on this roadWhich way (do) you want to go?The world I knowIs a world too slow(If you) Don't move fast enough, keep your head lowThe world I knowIs a world much too slowIf you can't move fast enough child, better stay on the low childAnd I want a life lover that'll go that farWe don't have to do this rightYes I know who you areThis ride could be oursJust look at those starsBaby we could be stars.. ESTHERO

por lo que una vez fue el nuestro - el mundo

por favor únase a mí en oración por mi hermana ..

I am at a age where I no longer ask WHY, simply what.

What next?

Do with me as you will...

she is superwoman...
she leaps seamless bounds from
emotion to emotion..
effortlessly.

and i wonder.

i wonder what lies beneath
the sheath..
the tick of her heart
that she gives
so freely...

she with the patience of Job
and the wisdom of solomon

.....

i can't write her rights...
i feel more vulenrable than i ever have in life...

she is superwoman..
she is my super friend..

and I am helpless...

......

g.o.d.
i no longer ask why?
i simply ask,
"what?"

and pray...

...

uno y tres es aprender a orar. de mis labios a los oídos de Dios...

amen...

es aprender a orar. de mis labios a los oídos de Dios.

I am reaching my hand to you in sisterhood and friendship. I am reaching for you. I am placing my hand out to pull you up and in when you want it. I will give you my hand when you decide you need it. I am and will be here. I want to reach deep inside you, and re-assure you, and let you know. I understand. It’s okay. I can’t say I’ve been where you are, but I’ve been some where near there. And it’s tiring. I know what it’s like to have a million answers to a thousand questions and not have the skill to solve the biggest mystery of them all. The key to personal happiness. And now, WHY? Why is this happening.....

And I know, the many answers doubled with questions silence your spirit and arrest your soul, creating restless night, after night, after knight, after knight. And after reaching for the answers to everyone's problems, your personal goals, him, him and him.. reaching toward the darkened solitude of your mind is the only thing you know. ‘cuz, right now, it feels like the only thing you have left. I can tell you it isn't. You know that already. You know it is not the solace you need. Yet it feels good. And I know it makes you believe that you are at peace. It’s simply ONE piece of the pieces of the puzzle that puzzles the peace most and keeps us one piece shy of solving the puzzle.

I’m perplexed. I’ve never been good at puzzles. I’ve never had the patience but I'm good at riddles, and I'm listening. I'm listening closely for the alliterate verse and the double meaning behind each of your words. Because I want to solve you. I want to solve your problems for you.

And I like to believe I've been a good friend and that I'm good with you. I’m quick on my feet and slick with the lips, so I always believed that if, and that’s a big IF, the time came and there was a problem I could find the right words, to snatch you from the person I believed wronged, hurt or tried to take you from me. My active imagination would have never allowed me to believe, that person, my arch nemesis would be, YOU. My words have failed me and you know I can’t fight.

So I am puzzled, I can't understand why I cannot say or hand you a piece of my peace to make you whole, again. Complete.

Can't completely understand why. Yet, I've lived long enought to stop asking why, and replace it with WHAT? What and who is going to gain from your sacrafice. Because despite what's going on with you, you've always GIVEN more than you TAKE!

And I want to, more than anything. I I want to do for you what you’ve always done for me. Make me feel better. Make me laugh. Make me see the other side. Make me not feel sorry for myself. Make me, me again. Or maybe it was the G.O.D. in you that always provided the guidance…. And now I’m afraid, that I am gifted with the intention but not the action. Intellectually I know that’s not the case, but in my heart, I can’t help but struggle with you through your struggle.I think that’s what friends do, at least the good ones. Not co-dependently, but you know.

And yes, I’m worried and sometimes I cry. Not so much that I don’t believe you can't or won’t find your way back, just so much that I don’t want you to forget. I don't want you to forget that "super" is a nickname and not your label. That nothing in this world can define you better than you! Just how wonderful and special you are. And that I want to be there for you like you’ve been there for me. And I want to sit in the darkness with you, hold your hand and tell you absolutely nothing but be there and listen to you breathe. To remind you that you don’t have to be alone. That you’re never alone.

And when you’re ready, we can pull away the covers, tie them upon our backs, open the blinds, and fly.. not toward the moon, but the heat of the sun.. because that what stars do... and you are my super....

Happy Holiday Season

Hapy Holidays to each and everyone of you. Be safe, and enjoy your family and friends celebrating whatever you celebrate, doing whatever is safe and fun...

Wednesday...

Happy Hump Day!!!

Quick

If nothing else, you can say G. Bush was quick as hell. If nothing else he is in shape. He moved like flash! I couldn't link the video from the j.o.b. google it though, it's worth a laugh. For real...

thankful

• long conversations with carrot top/Adrienne (my friend since the 7th grade)
• people who REALLY get you and love you for being you!
• my elm tree
• penguins and a good sister friend
• making it to and back from dallas
• facebook (did i tell anyone how much i love it)
• my fam!!! dang i'm fortunate and very loved
• wii (i'm a pro in bowling and imagine this, BOXING!)
• having the conviction to do my job well, despite soooooo much bureaucratic bllshhhh
• dreaming
• two poets embarking on a lifetime.... have fun!
• new music
• g.o.d. breathe!!!!

everything isn't bigger in texas!

it's snowing in dallas! i can see it from my room (14th floor).
damn, it melted before i got down the elevator!

you remembered!!!!

dang, thanks for the penguins!!!!!!!!!

misunderstood club 2008

I've started a club...

it's for perceived assholes and bitches.

kanye west - president.

k.i.m. the poet formerly known as 13 - press writer/consultant

sheree from real housewives of atlanta - stylist

more details to come.....

Anthony Hamilton

Dude is amazing!!!!! He is in my top 3 all time performers!

Grateful...

01) for G.O.D. in my life. thank you.
02) thanksgiving get-togethers and impromptu visits.
03) a special visit from my God-Son Zay!
04) two rides to san antonio! my ELM and my Muffin friend (yay!!!!)
05) hosting for two dynamic ladies tonight! even if it means i'm still in my work clothes, i.e. a suit!
06) my job even though... well even though.
07) seeing my nephew play this week after his injury. (he is, well, he and my niece are my everythings!)
08) writing. yes, i am writing..
09) your forgiveness, dinner tonight!
10) my girls, friends til the end.
11) a date tomorrow night.
12) facebook - still my fav right now.
13) xmas shopping! yes, I'm DONE!

Ever love someone so much you want to cry?

Well, here's one of those people... My 17 year old nephew!!!

he and his infamous brush for the deep waves...

Forgive?

Charge it to my head and calendar, but never my heart...

to my niecey, and prize poet fighter and friend.

Ebony

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!

I promise I will make it up to you!!!

thanks and giving

• one hecka party
• did i say i love my private life and my private friends
• my lane and the view
• cirque (sorry k-town)
• wii
• langston (yes, i miss you. even more i love you!)
• growing sisterhood, we have come a long way and i wouldn't trade the path we've traveled for anything!)
• my niece and nephew - saturday drives to san antonio (family time)
• dinner with an old friend (somethings never change)
• oh my gosh, i ate for three days!
• days off chillaxing!
• facebook... COPA i will do better
• abandoning 13, and reclaiming the me before my grandmother died. (because really that's all most people know 'cept for B-Fran)
• realizing that i will be VERY okay if i never wrote or recited another poem
• being really okay with my aloofness (aloof def: removed or distant either physically or emotionally)
• one really cool thanksgiving...

A little late...

Thanks...

• conversations with Jon Goode.... (you are my new brother see you in january!)
• duet slam (seasoned and well seasoned poets)
• staying in my lane, and running the mess out of it...
• a graceful exit
• recognition of things to come
• recollection of things past (remembering EVERYthing, not romanticizing, and having no desire to repeat them)
• new bonds of sisterhood
• let's say, i love my private life
• even more my private friends
• writing a bit
• not wanting to be a poet or thir13teen
• recognizing that the poetry scene is just that a scene (def of scene: one of the subdivisions of a play: as a: a division of an act presenting continuous action in one place) and not my life (def of life: 2 a: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual)
• real housewives of atlanta!! (Sheree, i feel your pain!)
• for the people that know me and my heart.. thanks for your presence
• my beautiful tree

thanks...

01) for the love in my light and life!!!!
02) my Wii and my Mii(s) - I now have bill and hill clinton!!!! got barack the first night!
03) for the fellowship of the wings. Angel and Eb, i miss you guys!
04) weekend trips home to see my family, they sustain me.
05) for the langston in my life...
06) for seeing the beautiful sisters on saturday night. younger sis, believe it or not, you are missed.
07) for the spectacular poetry on saturday. i literally gave a poet my writing pen. I'm done, Son.
08) for drawing a three and not feeling too bad... as well as, believe it or not, the "searching looks" i received after i didn't make it to the second round. (LOL!!! the thoughts i had in my mind about you and you in that moment were ABSOLUTELY funny, and it would be hilarious to you if you really knew me!)
09) my godson X-man, his mommie and auntie (they are a funny bunch!)
10) for my co-worker friend and potential boss who came out to support.
11) for knowing that yesterday's post wasn't the best thing, yet knowing it needed to be put out there anyway.
12) for knowing what it feels like to be part of the original and not needing to "recreate" what's already been established.
13) for the original... bree, mad-hatter, bro bob, dorothy mayes, lalove, ronstable, k.a., mr. whip-appeal aka b-fran, sassy, cousin sarah, chelle, relentless, youngstar! (and mom), knowtorious, and maljazar. sometimes i wish we could go back to skinny sahara and road trips. when we were new to it, and it was new to us. somehow, things, people and situations got in the way of something that was once sooooo freakin' beautiful. we would sit at the table a b-fran's and write. love's black gallant. i remember before slam and scores we were friends and so much more. for real. and i miss it. not to say there haven't been some great additions, 'cuz there have been. eb, trey, brent and joe b came along later... i just remember when it was for so many other things..

bonus: g.o.d. (good orderly direction, i think i am finally able and willing to truly walk away!)
extra bonus: that you two are hanging out again.... Peas in a F'ing Pod! don't get into too much trouble!

I Understand...

Dishonesty is so grasping it would deceive God himself, were it possible.
....George Bancroft....

My character defect in life appears to be that I was and continue to be an old woman trapped in a young body. That's why my girl Eb, calls me "Auntie". I am the crazy Aunt that will almost do or say anything. I call it"real". You always know where you stand with me, as long as you're willing to ask. Some will callme "mean" out of ignorance and not knowing the language. It would be mean in the african american/afro american/black/colored folk vernacular and not in actuality or the King's English.

There is no evidence that the CORRECT definition of mean has anything to do with your spirit or your heart.

1. I mean not to befriend everyone. definition: to have in the mind as a purpose
2. I really mean that statement. definition: to serve or intend to convey, show, or indicate
3. True purposeful and lasting friendships mean everything to me. definition: to have importance to the degree of.
4. Everyone does not mean you or me well. definition: to direct to a particular individual

Creativity is a mother, but must you create a life? Man, just go out and live YOURS. Do you Boo, do you. It works so much better that way. How many people must you continue to get involved in nonsense and hurt in order to build your self esteem and LEGION of shallow friendships? Ask any one true member of the community. This community is flighty. Your crap will come back to bite you in the ass.

I am not an adolescent or young adult looking for any one or thing to sustain me. I would rather have a handful of good people that I can truly rely on than a million who want nothing more than another phone number, facebook contact, and myspace friend.

Angel, I know, but this had to be posted. Yes, I know one giant step back for bullsh.. kind.

Lastly to you, my Man. Sorry to see and hear that you gave in to the bullsh. It's easier to hear the people smiling in your face than to remember the people who, even when they KNEW you wouldn't like what they said, said it anyway. That's always been me. So yes, there is an element of truth to what you've been told. You know, but half truths can be just as dishonest as lie. No matter what the packaging. People love to get to you when you're down. Heard about your recent battles so it seems you're pretty ripe for the picking. When you get tired of the nonsense, you know how to find me. I don't dislike anyone person, I dislike behaviors people exhibit, even my own. I will still be here, because I believed our friendship was a lasting one. So even if you're pissed, you can always count on me. Regardless...

you're still here...

Happy Birthday Grand....

MARGARET R. BELISLE

love you and miss you...

Once Upon a Time we were 'iggas. NEW RULES

01) Make eye contact and speak to other black people ! Brothers and Sisters let's acknowledge each other on the street. Never let a person of color pass with out saying hello...
02) STOP USING THE N-Word! I mean a brother now holds the highest leadership position in the free world. Can we finally evolve? Would you really call the President of the United States an "igga"?
03) OUR WORK IS NOT DONE! Remember back in the day when everyone was down for the struggle, freedom was at hand, and we could just taste it? It was so cool. Well guess what, we're in the midst of it. Let's continue to get our hands dirty, continue to mobilize. Continue to build communities and bridge families.
04) Sisters stop emasculating Brothers. A strong sister stood on that stage along side of him. She was referred to as HIS BEST FRIEND. Just think what would happen if we all uplifted Brothers.
05) Brothers respect and love your Sisters. Again, theirs is a partnership based on MUTUAL respect, honesty and trust.
06) Sisters can we now stop referring to ourselves as a "Bitch" or anything similarly derogatory. We don't just have a Black Man running our country, we have a Sister by his side. You don't think she got anywhere in her life by referring to herself as a "Bitch" do you?
07) BE ON TIME!!! What do you think would have happened if Barack had decided at anytime during his journey to procrastinate, decided to make an "appearance " on CPT or just said, "f'it, they'll wait for me"?
08) Stop making excuses. The road may be tough, yet there is a path to success. A black man has been in Space and now a black Family will move into the White House.
09) Bring back the black family. If you have a baby's mama or baby's daddy, at least learn how to become their friend. Or let's change the paradigm, and not have a baby's mama or baby's daddy, but a mother, father, wife or husband.
10) Remain calm in the face of your critics (at least publicly). There were many criticisms and challenges, yet we never saw him lose his cool. We are all capable of doing so!!!!
11) Be PRIDEFUL. Be a role model. The world is looking at US as a PEOPLE. Let's return to the graciously humble and beautiful people our ancestors were. In our short American history, at our height, and greatest level of successes, we were articulate, beautiful and humble. I'm not asking you to be someone you aren't, I'm simply asking you to be who you were born to become. Listen to your bloodlines. They don't lie.
12) Dream and DREAM BIG. We're here because someone endured the greatest challenges and struggles of their lives. They birthed the generations before us, who had a dream, individually and collectively for their children and their children's children. They dreamed in spite and despite.
13) Don't go out and name every child Barack or Baracka (for girls). I know. I know, it's hard not too.

Barack taught us about the audacity of hope, let's not have the audacity to realize our dreams..

Gratitude...

Thank you G.O.D.

In my lifetime.... We can never look back. Yes... Yes, WE CAN!

Obama Electorial College 297!!! early though

We are less than 24 hours away....

Enough Already

okay, i've been voting since i got my driver's license. why on earth would anyone not have exercised that right? why would anyone feel the need to text, e-mail, call, and otherwise harass a civic minded individual such as myself?

i say all that to say this: "FIND YOUR STOOPID FRIENDS, E-MAIL AND/OR TEXT THEM TO REMIND THEM TO VOTE!!!!"

yes, I'm excited about the upcoming election, just not enough to run up an ALREADY EXPENSIVE SPRINT BILL (99.00 anything plan my ARSE!!), MY PHONE BUZZING IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MANAGER'S MEETING (that's right some poets have professional f'ing jobs and 1/2 my phone is paid for by the Great State of Texas and B.T.W. GOVERNMENT/STATE EMPLOYEES CANNOT UTILIZE ANY ITEMS PAID FOR BY THE GOVERNMENT/STATE TO ENDORSE ONE CANDIDIATE OR ANOTHER. and it's not like I have McCain friends ), or just otherwise HARASSING me while I am SLEEPING OR PLAYING WII!

Enough all f'ing ready.

AND YES, I ALREADY VOTED DAMN IT!

10.22.08 gratitude

• a new baby boy Xavier! i get to babysit.
• f'ing allergies are getting the best of me.
• hosting game night was pretty cool!
• my niece played very well. I was extremely proud of her.
• playing Wii last night and getting my butt kicked. those of you that know me know i let certain people win. (LOL)
• seeing my sister over the weekend. gosh i miss her, the weekly trips help though.
• missing my nephew this past weekend.
• ohh.. learning to let go, i learned i really still dislike a certain type of person. pray for me please!!!!
• reading, i am now reading the House on Sugar Beach.
• jon goode is coming soon...
• a 50th anniversary party i get to dress up for!!!! i mean for real 50 years without killing each other. they are like my girl's parents below except that got that old old school twist to them. (can i find someone who would want to spend fifty years with me?) LMAO!!
• did i say my allergies are getting the best of me?
• i met my best girl in austin's parents on sunday, they are cute as heck and extremely FUNNY.
• they loved dinner at the house earlier this evening. Now i have to talk to her, but i want a whole blog about them. they are soo cute together. it's that old school, still kind of young love. you know people just fit? nothing over dramatic they just fit. that's the type of love i strive for in my life.
• g.o.d. in those who touched me this week (good bad or indifferent).. really. thanks. i am a better person for it.

funny..

this happened i promise, and it's been happening to me since the second week of september. the day i got the f'ng braces. now mind you, i also wear glasses!! who would have thought this?

super bad poet: "wow. i didn't now you had braces? when'd you get them?"
me: "about a month ago."
superbad poet: "you know that changes things, i have this thing with braces. i think it's cute. i really like girls with braces. i might have to.."

no that's enough.... that's enough already.. now if i were single, i would have the best time of my life right now. and most of you know i've never really dated!!!!

NOTE TO SEE IF THERE IS A NEXT LIFETIME: Get your braces while you are YOUNG. It seems it makes you hellacuter to some of the most SEXY NERD PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

and believe me, i love Nerds. the more books, comic, cartoon, poetry, science, math, video games and intelligent things you're into the hotter you are to me.

i notice a brain more than anything else. that's all.

10.15.08 gratitude

• the color purple... it was GREAT!!!! I didn't realize they would follow the book and not the movie though.. I don't think the group of Baptist women who sat in the front of us read the book either.
• the color yellow makes me smile. can't see it without thinking of you.
• another "t"in my life. and her crazy sister. Oh my gosh, she is crazy.
• that i am trusting and being trusted. that is the true test of our lives.
• learning to see g.o.d. in some of the strangest places.
• knowing no matter what, you are that one, my ONE.
• that dang face book!
• my girl shauna in San Antonio.
• i get to see my niece play Volleyball this weekend!!!
• two great weeks of poetry, can we get a third?
• jon goode in a couple weeks!
• the new neo sister slam team. faye, her baby sis, and j.phoenix. shay wish you were old enough ma!
• praying you will change your mind about it. yes, i'm referring to above and YOU! love you for making choices that are best for you in this moment, and respect it! (damn growth)
• staying in my lane and loving the view.

Happy Birthday Wishes!!

Happy Birthday and "Whooty Whooo My Brother"

CHIRS MIKE of K-TOWN!!!!

10.08.08 Gratitude

• developing friendships.. even though they are a bit younger than me.
• jon goode's coming to neo-soul.. i cannot believe it..
• obama t-shirts for ELM's mom!!! i've never seen anyone beside myself get that excited about a shirt.
• the long standing friendship til the end with my angel baby and langston (i love talking to you guys)
• for knowing you and loving you well enough to miss you miss nubia!!!
• for the continued development of sisterfriends (chelle)
• my braces, i'm starting to like them enough.
• continued growth, spiritually and mentally.
• reading.. dang i missed it.
• a weekend getaway...
• g.o.d. good orderly direction.

for you...

1 day, i will tell u I love u,
& u will mean it.
U will listen 2 d thoughtful whispers
X-changed b'tween d stars & d moon,
hear a voice longing 2 sing ur praise
& prayerfully u will answer;
recognizing that
it’s not me,
but d woman i aspire 2 b'come.
b'cuz right now,
i’m not really fit 4 me

let alone us...
there was a time when d bend of u,
curved 2 d shape of we,
& i couldn’t tell where we began
‘cuz 4 us there was never an end,
i mean, we couldn’t evoke a moment
b4 we were in.di.vid.u.ally
a u or a me.
there was no such thing
as once upon a time b4 we.
like d gumption of my emotion
hid n d reflection of perfection
at d cusp of ur personification's inception.
in other words
“baby, u were mine, & simply faultless n ur imperfections.”
now i reach 'cross sheets grasping 4

d silhouette that was once u.
u’ve been gone so long
that i can’t remember d essence of u.
i’ve been making love 2 d ghost
that has become

4 so long that i’ve grown accustomed
2 d moans of ur nightmares,
graciously accepting them as a guilty pleasure.

kdtaylor, 2008

to be continued...

Her Fellowship Part II

so.. toasty caramel struts over to a nice place on the floor and begins to search for music. those who know me know i am a sucker for butts and thighs... so my view from the sofa was ever nice.. nice... thrice...

he, laying face down, rolled his thick thighs and perfectly shaped pitcher's mound demin covered behind, rhythmically to a Drake mix tape while thumbing through his journal. (the title of his journal shall remain nameless.) teddy ruxpin stood in the curve of the sliding and bedroom doors. his beautiful, yes, the essence of teddy bear, brown cascaded across the room as the sun beamed through him sharing his prism of thoughtful essence throughout; while jewel and scent, leaned slightly forward, bringing forth that scent of smokey mahogany and jasmine.

the conversation began with the "journal" and relationships. co-partnering/spouses to be exact.

each shared his idea, and why he supported it; without being sexual and too sexist with the room. each listened intently as if he were pilfering and pocketing the idea like a skilled thief collecting the world's masterpieces. except the prize at stake was thier individual description and ideal QUEEN.

Her Fellowship...

So, over the weekend I had an opportunity to meet my closest ATX g-friend’s “Brotherhood/Fellowship/Family”.

One this is not only an equally handsome collection of men, they are GIANTS among men. They range from an eloquently deep shade of toasted caramel to a deep rich edible chocolate brown. When each spoke there was a subtle excitement related to their individual and intimate level of confidence and sexuality that exuded from every pore of their being. It’s been a long time since I was in a room with three vastly different black men, who in their own way held the attention of every detail in the room from the minuscule particles of dust dancing upon the sunlight to the heaviness of the words in various discussions. It was, in a very heterosexual way, orgasmic.

• Mr. Toasty Caramel – Has one of the sexiest baby-gap grins I’d seen in a long time. It’s not immediate obvious, but he has mastered the art of brusque sexuality. I do not mean it in the traditional way, however, he has a straight to the point, no holds bar, I’m gonna tell you what it is and how it is and despite what you may think, I’m gonna be so f’ing self-assured, encouraging and smooth with it, that your intellect will twirl your lips into syncing whatever I want. And believe me, not only will you not mind, but you will wish it was your idea in the first damn place. And please don’t start me on his voice…
• Mr. Teddy Ruxpin – The world renowned sophisticated teddy bear. This brother really doesn’t know what he’s working with OR he’s so damn poised and smooth that he’s convinced himself that he doesn’t know or remember what his swag feels, looks and smells like. (FOR REAL). He will admit he’s single for a reason and that he has VERY HIGH STANDARDS. I believe the answer lies somewhere in the rise of his cheeks and a simple fault that lurks in the insecure gape in his stride. I know that strides aren’t always honest, yet they do have a way of giving up a secret or two. Like Mr. Toasty Caramel, he speaks with an eloquence all his own, always reminding you, to HELL with being Black, he’s African at heart and will not be emasculated. Honestly, Teddy Ruxpin’s says a lot in his silence as well. He’s in perpetual thought and if you really listen, you can hear spiritual reflection cascading from his long thick curly eyelashes. And yes, it’s hella sexy…
• Mr. Jewel and Scent – This locked mane brother is equally mystifying and baffling. Thick locks with a mind of thier own, crowned and looped above his head like a halo. He sat quietly taking it all in, his body sinking slowly into the sofa as the conversation and everyone’s thoughts slipped slowly into his mind. With hushed vigor he manipulated the outlook in the room, though not as obvious as his peers. He asked questions with efferent deliberation. He carried the conversation away from the heart of the matter toward areas of your conscious you didn’t no longer considered or recognized. His thin muscular frame draped the cushions of the sofa. He never felt the need to complete or move from his secure post. He respected his peers youthful presence (while they were all about the same age) he carried a calmed wisdom recognized in great grand fathers that most Men would never know. When he spoke it was like Karo syrup sticking to biscuits atop chipped cup saucers on sultry hot Sunday mornings. His voice took you back to places you longed to forget, but carried them in the depth of your bones because only there did you know..

To be continued…..

Gratitude

For the ability to not allow anyone to dictate who I am.

For the beauty and opportunity of seeing the frustration in their eyes and voice when they REALIZE that those tricks work for bitches and dogs, and not for women and men.

For a beautiful Saturday morning with my bio family watching my nephew play basketball and being that AUNT for my niece!!

For the grace and finances to be that Aunt, man little girl are expensive.

For a hella afternoon, even though I was sleepy, I enjoyed the fish fry!

For meeting my Angel’s “other” friends. Thanks for the privilege. They are GIANTS among MEN!

For intelligent conversation.

For the love in those brown eyes.

Looking forward to the hosting rotation. Hella voices.. B-Fran, Chelle, Me and Shameless.

Weekend...

Okay.. so my weekend was pretty nice. Pretty damn busy, and sad to say...

I'M GETTING OLD

So it started as usual on Thursday. Wasn't a very late night at Neo, but it was a night..

From there, on Friday, I drove to home to San Antonio for the afternoon to visit the Bio Fam. All was good. My pa'ran. Grandfather looks DAMN GOOD. Upon returning, I went to a little get-together/b-day celebration/movie watching thingie. Got home at 3:30am crashed at 4:00am. Only to get up a few hours later (7:30am) to drive to San Marcos to be at my nephew's basketball game at 9:00. After hanging with them, made it back to Austin by 4:30 to attend a meeting and fellowship with a few HOSTS!!!!! (YES, more to come later. I am excited by the possibilities for the first time in a long time).

Here's where it gets sketchy. I WAS SUPPOSE to go by my girl Angel's and then to game night. I did neither.

I took a shower and sadly feel SOUNDLY ASLEEP on the sofa.

And I so wanted to meet and greet (with Angel's home crew) and play some cards with my partner..Desired Butterfly.

none of that happened.....

sleep happened.

SORRY.

BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday

CHARLES E. BELISE, my pa'ran..

H-BDY

JOAN WINGATE, my chizzle..

grateful..

for breaths of fresh air and life..
a week of birthdays and remembrance...
friends i can call family...
langston and zora eggplant chairs, lunch and road trips (nuff said')
my angel and her wings (heart you.)
a week of family (saw my Dad all weekend, will see my Grandpa tomorrow).
my nephew's basketball games this weekend.
picture mail to and from my niece, Nique.
reminders that my niece and nephew are indeed an extension of me (hate math and science, love basketball and volleyball)
the opportunity to learn about me by just listening in between breaths..
for a pretty dang cool t-shirt.
leigh jones (who, what, when)
SEPTOBER!!!! (i stole this from taylor mali) isn't this a great time of year?
facebook... I had lunch with one of my buddies from UnderGrad, talked to a guy I crushed on in HS (Dean Pleasants he is very sought after session musician and the lead guitarist for the Suicidal Tendencies -YES HE'S BLACK), caught up with one of goofy younger friends from HS. psst. Chelle, keep working on it you will come to love it, I promise.
Prayers...
G.O.D.
they found fairy-tales!!!!!