stuff

My weekend has been one of growth and revelation... some randomness

you'd be surprised how much bullsh is brewing in your midst, even when you don't participate. some how, some one will always drag you into their mess....

for someone who doesn't have a lot, and is always needing someone's assistance, you sure have a lot to say. i like you a lot, i think you're funny, but it won't stop me from kindly putting my foot in your ass. despite my smile and friendly overtures, i know you are a vicious gossip. kind warning, you have one more time to tell someone what you THINK is going on in my house. (ladies chill, this time it's a man full of bitchassness)

slam brings out the worst in people. if you can slam 5 days out of the week, why would ANYONE, especially you, rob a kid (someone dependent upon their parent) of the opportunity to perform and possibly win? by the way, you knocked your boy out of finals.

people will indeed take your kindness for a weakness.

slam brings out the worst in people II, i truly hate and did not feel good about "burn" this past weekend. it felt more like defeat, than victory.

i am really torn about slam this year. i want the opportunity to hang with the neo-soul fam, yet i feel burned by the b/s that transpired last year, equally disgusted with the "comments" that were made about me, and that genuine feeling that i really can't and shouldn't trust "all" the people i am suppose to call team mates.

at what point do you decide to terminate your relationship because you feel unfullfilled, unloved, not supported, validated, and valued?

at what point to do you consider pursuing a relationship that offers the promise of being loved, supported, validated, and valued?

at what point does someone say, "I can't forgive you, and we'll never be the same?"

can you tell people what to post on their blogs? I mean people make assumptions that they now what's going on in your life by the words on your blog and the sense of familiarity they have with you.

is it fair to call people out on your blog?

at what point can you say the things you write are personal, since your posts are available for everyone to see.

at what point do you intervene in a situation that you know is hurting your friend, and in fact, you have begun to hurt for them as well?

i've exhausted my good music.

the writing lab was cool, yet, i'm still not comfortable with writing in groups.

at what point do you draw the line with rules, i mean, people have been pretty f'ing shady around slam rules, and taking people for granted. i did a search, and you know what, there are no rules posted by most slams...

that they are constantly sending e-mails to us about attending their slam. famous last words "if you guys did it on thursday nights we'd totally support you?" well, um, we've been doing it on thursday for over 7 months and we still only see the people who supported us when we did it on wednesdays...

should i take a free ticket, just cuz?

as a people we're too nice, i bet most of us will be there tuesday, and invite someone to tag along.

a line from my poem: "Recognize that in
my humiliating silence
I drank rancid cups
of minding my business and letting you down.
And the sprinkling of
encouragement, love, and well wishes
didn’t make it any sweeter.
I just wanted to keep you afloat until one day you'd reach your shore. "

i don't care who you vote for, but as a woman, I think it's pretty insulting to find how we are willing to degrade one another. A car driven by a woman, obviously owned by a woman had the following bumper sticker, "life's a bitch, why elect one." dang.....

i'm glad i talked to him. we're on even ground.

grateful....

01) it SNOWED....... snow welcomed us there and bid us a farewell...
02) traveling with the one you love..
03) coming home. man i missed our bed.
04) goofy text messages upon landing... you never gave me the NUMBER!!!
05) hanging with the two bestests.
06) the neo team..... it's a good look.
07) your happiness....
08) my no bitchassness shirt.
09) performing for Baby Hustle's class. I was honored.
10) realizing my life in slam has been reborn through the Youth Slam.
11) realizing I am really okay with being an open micker and not a slammer..
12) those beautiful brown eyes...
13) those who i call and honor me in return with the title friend. what could i do without you?

bonus... good orderly direction.

leaving on a jet plane.. don't know..

in three hours we board a plane. i can't wait.....

in the last six i have managed to do everything i would have liked. i almost lived as if there was no tomorrow.. and i'm happy.

• i slammed for fun, not for any other reason, and guess what i had FUN!
• my life is in perspective. i see clearly all that i need to see.
• witnessed a win that was well deserving..
• witnessed a come back, that made me speechless...
• sat on the floor and listened to poets from and with my heart and not my ears...
• laughed until it hurt.
• stood in awe at the dawn of love
• welled and teared inside at it's sunset..
• goofed with the bestest two in the world.
• g.o.d. birthed me another sister...
• got my bitchassness t-shirt..
• made a decision in that moment that i could never go back. returning to what was is not what this life is about. it's simply about moving to what will be. AND i will be in MADISON for you, you, you, you and you!
• chelle, b-fran, trey, element, and mike whalen.... we are connected by a moment in time I HOLD DEAR in my life. chelle and b i apologize for not being FEARLESS ENOUGH to return.

thanks...,

01) day business trips....
02) those brown eyes
03) our airport encounter... rugged..
04) a vacation..
05) my ex bro in law's wedding, hanging with my sis, seeing my nephew.. and my gosh.. picture later.
06) watching the looks on people's faces when they realized my sister was attending her ex-husband's wedding..
07) her being as happy as my new play sister.. (my ex bro in law's new wife)
08) my wedding date..... NO NOT A DAY TO GET MARRIED
09) ice cube on saturday
10) our horton hear's a who date......
11) last minute lunches at mangia..
12) plucking missing you...
13) being reminded of why we will always be l and z....

g.o.d. for giving the strength, patience and wisdom to hold my tongue and watch my words.
pps. my date with the cutest nerd ever....

I had to go back to the basics....

"The Sneetches"
"The Zax"
"Too Many Daves"
"What Was I Scared Of?"

Teaches about:

discrimination

snobbery

insecurities

consumerism

valuing individuality

compromise

being afraid of those unlike you

and the mystery of being able to stand up alone.... (the boy was afraid of a pair of pant that stood on their own)

i learned these lessons as a child.

the sneetches and other stories are one of my favorite books. has been since i was able to read. my all time favorite cartoon special. i used to use this book to teach drug addicts and criminals how to live in a pro-social society. am learning that it really should be taught to most. i think i may get it for you.

it was the 13th

So you shot craps. Know what? You almost did it. Operative word. ALMOST.

thanks...,

01) i so love my life right now
02) nightly reading
03) turkey chili
04) great week of politics
05) the smile she brings to his eyes...
06) last week's host (goofy fun)
07) every breath
08) the job is tough, learning to deal with another type of woman.....
09) the discovery of bitchassness.....










10) no poems in the heart and mind, but i'm loving words anyway...
11) i miss you two..... (BOO), but isn't it great to have "girls" to miss?
12) discovering you all over again.
13) and being okay with what you've found in me....
bonus.. good orderly direction.

BITCHASSNESS....

What the hell are they thinking? A PARTY divided.... It's too early to want to know who's gonna be on top. Just agree to do it together.... At this rate I may vote for McCain.

And to top it off:

Geraldine Ferrero?

Re-Votes in Florida?

Mary Ann busted with weed? Mary Ann?

Ginger, yes. Mary Ann, hell2danaw.

Who has the EGO? No Super Ticket.

Funny most believed Hillary would be the person with the problem... Doesn't seem to be the case. I understand he has the delgates and the States. BUT NOT THE STATES THAT WIN ELECTIONS!
below: Yahoo news.....
COLUMBUS, Miss. - Democrat Barack Obama ridiculed the idea of being Hillary Rodham Clinton's running mate Monday, saying voters must choose between the two for the top spot on the fall ticket.
The Illinois senator used his first public appearance of the week to knock down the notion that he might accept the party's vice presidential nomination. He noted that he has won more states, votes and delegates than Clinton so far.
"I don't know how somebody who is in second place is offering the vice presidency to the person who is first place," Obama said, drawing cheers and a long standing ovation from about 1,700 people in Columbus, Miss.
Saying he wanted to be "absolutely clear," he added: "I don't want anybody here thinking that somehow, 'Well, you know, maybe I can get both.' Don't think that way. You have to make a choice in this election."
"I am not running for vice president," Obama said. "I am running for president of the United States of America."

3:00 am (at this rate.....)

"we're sorry you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service, if you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number or dial your call again."

i once had plans for the super ballot. i now fear this "it's 3:00 am bullsh..." has given credibility and life to the whole "terrorist/suicide" voting tactic.

two sensible people slowing giving into their biggest fear...

i agree with andy rooney, "why would anyone want to be president? especially now."

thankful one day late...

01) finding new love in your old love.
02) monday night perfection.
03) I am a delegate for my Precinct!. 0202 Represent.
04) Hilliary WON! and the possibility of the Democratic process being fully implemented in my LIFETIME. Let the People Speak.
05) Hints of the Superticket Hill-RAC or RAC-Hill. I don't care. Just give me back the FREEDOM AND PRIDE ASSOCIATED WITH AMERICAN PATRIOTISM!
06) birthday lunch and our discussions... You really are my sister from another Grandmother...
07) intelligence that allowed me to be torn between the two Candidates.
08) every breath, every day.
09) that he shared his good news with us. Glad you talked to him.
10) Love Me Sexy.... Will Farrell is the man!
11) G.O.D. is teaching me valuable lessons and I am reaping hella rewards.
12) that my friends are healthy, living, and growing.
13) hosting with B-Fran.... I was sick as heck, but it was fun fun fun... below: an altered picture of the night... thanks bizzle.


bonus - hanging out at the light bar, listening to tje and the band, getting my butt whipped in pool at lance's bar, and wanting to hang out longer, but the sickness took over me...

Obama Love

A picture says a thousand words. Tough night.

Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History...

So tonight I attended my District's caucus. It was electric. I of course, was one of FEW, HRC supporters. I did win a Delegate selection. I am STOKED! To participate in the Government process in, what appears to be a historic democratic process.

It is bitter sweet. I wanted to vote for both. In the end, it was really, as I've said all along in the details. I couldn't vote for someone because he shares "some of my pigmentation" nor could I vote for someone because we are both women. Boo to those who believe she cannot run the country because some Countries still hate and have no respect for women. She's battling that here in the US! Have you seen some of the ads? Listened to the commentary? it's a sad day to be an intelligent, can do woman?

It is also a sad day for HIM. He's being criticized for being the epitome of the core of who we are as Black/African Americans. To be gracious in the face of contempt and criticism. The man is not SOFT. He has class. Something lacking in the American Public. I pray they get it together. The BA-Hill ticket would be off the CHAIN. For real....

Neo Birth

Happy Birthday

LALOVE!!!!