I am reaching my hand to you in sisterhood and friendship. I am reaching for you. I am placing my hand out to pull you up and in when you want it. I will give you my hand when you decide you need it. I am and will be here. I want to reach deep inside you, and re-assure you, and let you know. I understand. It’s okay. I can’t say I’ve been where you are, but I’ve been some where near there. And it’s tiring. I know what it’s like to have a million answers to a thousand questions and not have the skill to solve the biggest mystery of them all. The key to personal happiness. And now, WHY? Why is this happening.....
And I know, the many answers doubled with questions silence your spirit and arrest your soul, creating restless night, after night, after knight, after knight. And after reaching for the answers to everyone's problems, your personal goals, him, him and him.. reaching toward the darkened solitude of your mind is the only thing you know. ‘cuz, right now, it feels like the only thing you have left. I can tell you it isn't. You know that already. You know it is not the solace you need. Yet it feels good. And I know it makes you believe that you are at peace. It’s simply ONE piece of the pieces of the puzzle that puzzles the peace most and keeps us one piece shy of solving the puzzle.
I’m perplexed. I’ve never been good at puzzles. I’ve never had the patience but I'm good at riddles, and I'm listening. I'm listening closely for the alliterate verse and the double meaning behind each of your words. Because I want to solve you. I want to solve your problems for you.
And I like to believe I've been a good friend and that I'm good with you. I’m quick on my feet and slick with the lips, so I always believed that if, and that’s a big IF, the time came and there was a problem I could find the right words, to snatch you from the person I believed wronged, hurt or tried to take you from me. My active imagination would have never allowed me to believe, that person, my arch nemesis would be, YOU. My words have failed me and you know I can’t fight.
So I am puzzled, I can't understand why I cannot say or hand you a piece of my peace to make you whole, again. Complete.
Can't completely understand why. Yet, I've lived long enought to stop asking why, and replace it with WHAT? What and who is going to gain from your sacrafice. Because despite what's going on with you, you've always GIVEN more than you TAKE!
And I want to, more than anything. I I want to do for you what you’ve always done for me. Make me feel better. Make me laugh. Make me see the other side. Make me not feel sorry for myself. Make me, me again. Or maybe it was the G.O.D. in you that always provided the guidance…. And now I’m afraid, that I am gifted with the intention but not the action. Intellectually I know that’s not the case, but in my heart, I can’t help but struggle with you through your struggle.I think that’s what friends do, at least the good ones. Not co-dependently, but you know.
And yes, I’m worried and sometimes I cry. Not so much that I don’t believe you can't or won’t find your way back, just so much that I don’t want you to forget. I don't want you to forget that "super" is a nickname and not your label. That nothing in this world can define you better than you! Just how wonderful and special you are. And that I want to be there for you like you’ve been there for me. And I want to sit in the darkness with you, hold your hand and tell you absolutely nothing but be there and listen to you breathe. To remind you that you don’t have to be alone. That you’re never alone.
And when you’re ready, we can pull away the covers, tie them upon our backs, open the blinds, and fly.. not toward the moon, but the heat of the sun.. because that what stars do... and you are my super....
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