*DISCLAIMER - you can read this so it's not about you......
It never ceases to amaze me. It's truly, and sadly pitifully amazing how people will often test the level of and later try to steal your happiness. Last night was an amazing night of poetry, despite a pathetically desperate attempt to create drama. Let me start from a good point...
Weary from now, what would be five of six weeks, of business travel. Now, most people would believe a job traveling (I'm not a flight attendant) is like... oh my gosh... something extravagant. Alas, it can be. However, spending three nights of the week away from home, never being able to unpack a suitcase in it's entirety, is not crazy, but insane. Imagine, going "home" every night to a place that's not yours, coupled with, in some cases, not knowing "what type of home" you'd be coming home to. Eating every meal out! I could go on and on.. But I won't.
This week's trip was exceptionally stressful, as I didn't sleep much this weekend. After three and 1/2 hours I had to take a 6:30 am flight to Dallas (only to drive 2 1/2 hours to Longview). Which made my first day a 17 hour day. 4:00 am through 7:00 pm. A 12 hour day the following. And on Wednesday it was sleeting on the way back from Longview to Dallas. Now mind you I hate driving my car in the rain, now I'm driving a rental in sleet and snow with close to below freezing temperatures. I have to eat a Pappadeaux's (AGAIN! my co-worker's favorite, which I am totally sick of.) My co-worker and I were separated, as I erroneously mixed the flight times and numbers, so we returned home on different flights.. (BOY WAS SHE PISSED, EVEN AFTER I OFFERED TO TAKE THE LATER FLIGHT BACK WITH HER!)
Got into Austin, went to work as I had things to complete before this morning... Went to workout.. Yes Ebony, I worked out! Took a quick shower and headed out to poetry...
Now, it was a surprise to see some folk there, I'm not going to lie. However, there is no negative connotation in the word surprise. I was glad to see them. Hoping I would hear something new.. Mind you, I am never really truly concerned about who's there unless I invited you out to meet me, so another's absence is no importance to me.. Because I don't want my absence to be perceived as anything other then I had something to do. Upon my arrival, I greet a few people... was asked a few questions.. Hum, err, we like each other, and roll together, but not that tough.. remember they are students and I travel for a living and don't always have the luxury of coming back by Wednesday. Our decisions are not made in unison, or some plot.. But of course you guys know that... Remember earlier when I said I don't my absence blown out of proportion? Anyway, what came next was an utter surprise....
I was approached by someone who will remain nameless.... Now, I don't want to think the person had an ulterior motive, but, it looked like shit, felt like shit, reeked like shit. So it didn't feel good. PERIOD. I politely stated I had a very long day (the person isn't close enough to me to know my schedule), was feeling a little tired, you know, all in all doing well. Well, it went on to somehow implying something totally different. Nancy Drew would call it guilt. My girls from Brooklyn would call it messy, and would cement their idea about certain people in the venue. I smiled as politely as I could in the moment. Restated that I was tired, and had no idea what (s)he was talking about.
Which brings me to the following rhetorical questions, 'cause I don't want answers. It's not that important. But hell... Why can't I be tired? Five days with less than five hours sleep each night can effect the average person. Why can't I be social in a social setting? Why can't I be genuinely happy? Why can't I be happy for other people? Why can't I just not give a damn about anything that does not impact me directly. And abso-fcking-lutely nothing in that venue impacts my health, my wealth, and now my well being. I have friends who go there, but we are social outside of that setting... Ya know? Why can't people who claim to know so much about me begin to realize they never knew me at all? Why must people search for shit outside their skin, especially when their shit smells far worse than others. I love poetry, I love the venue, but damn, some people need lives.. On the real. It's shit like that that makes people not want to come. Including me. People! Stop looking for drama or trying to create a sub-plot when there is none.
Believe me, I will not be starring or making any guest appearances in another's drama. There's only one film I'm interested in, and it's doing well at the box office.
Sorry you didn't get a dose of, "As the mofo'ing poets turn.."
holla....
It never ceases to amaze me. It's truly, and sadly pitifully amazing how people will often test the level of and later try to steal your happiness. Last night was an amazing night of poetry, despite a pathetically desperate attempt to create drama. Let me start from a good point...
Weary from now, what would be five of six weeks, of business travel. Now, most people would believe a job traveling (I'm not a flight attendant) is like... oh my gosh... something extravagant. Alas, it can be. However, spending three nights of the week away from home, never being able to unpack a suitcase in it's entirety, is not crazy, but insane. Imagine, going "home" every night to a place that's not yours, coupled with, in some cases, not knowing "what type of home" you'd be coming home to. Eating every meal out! I could go on and on.. But I won't.
This week's trip was exceptionally stressful, as I didn't sleep much this weekend. After three and 1/2 hours I had to take a 6:30 am flight to Dallas (only to drive 2 1/2 hours to Longview). Which made my first day a 17 hour day. 4:00 am through 7:00 pm. A 12 hour day the following. And on Wednesday it was sleeting on the way back from Longview to Dallas. Now mind you I hate driving my car in the rain, now I'm driving a rental in sleet and snow with close to below freezing temperatures. I have to eat a Pappadeaux's (AGAIN! my co-worker's favorite, which I am totally sick of.) My co-worker and I were separated, as I erroneously mixed the flight times and numbers, so we returned home on different flights.. (BOY WAS SHE PISSED, EVEN AFTER I OFFERED TO TAKE THE LATER FLIGHT BACK WITH HER!)
Got into Austin, went to work as I had things to complete before this morning... Went to workout.. Yes Ebony, I worked out! Took a quick shower and headed out to poetry...
Now, it was a surprise to see some folk there, I'm not going to lie. However, there is no negative connotation in the word surprise. I was glad to see them. Hoping I would hear something new.. Mind you, I am never really truly concerned about who's there unless I invited you out to meet me, so another's absence is no importance to me.. Because I don't want my absence to be perceived as anything other then I had something to do. Upon my arrival, I greet a few people... was asked a few questions.. Hum, err, we like each other, and roll together, but not that tough.. remember they are students and I travel for a living and don't always have the luxury of coming back by Wednesday. Our decisions are not made in unison, or some plot.. But of course you guys know that... Remember earlier when I said I don't my absence blown out of proportion? Anyway, what came next was an utter surprise....
I was approached by someone who will remain nameless.... Now, I don't want to think the person had an ulterior motive, but, it looked like shit, felt like shit, reeked like shit. So it didn't feel good. PERIOD. I politely stated I had a very long day (the person isn't close enough to me to know my schedule), was feeling a little tired, you know, all in all doing well. Well, it went on to somehow implying something totally different. Nancy Drew would call it guilt. My girls from Brooklyn would call it messy, and would cement their idea about certain people in the venue. I smiled as politely as I could in the moment. Restated that I was tired, and had no idea what (s)he was talking about.
Which brings me to the following rhetorical questions, 'cause I don't want answers. It's not that important. But hell... Why can't I be tired? Five days with less than five hours sleep each night can effect the average person. Why can't I be social in a social setting? Why can't I be genuinely happy? Why can't I be happy for other people? Why can't I just not give a damn about anything that does not impact me directly. And abso-fcking-lutely nothing in that venue impacts my health, my wealth, and now my well being. I have friends who go there, but we are social outside of that setting... Ya know? Why can't people who claim to know so much about me begin to realize they never knew me at all? Why must people search for shit outside their skin, especially when their shit smells far worse than others. I love poetry, I love the venue, but damn, some people need lives.. On the real. It's shit like that that makes people not want to come. Including me. People! Stop looking for drama or trying to create a sub-plot when there is none.
Believe me, I will not be starring or making any guest appearances in another's drama. There's only one film I'm interested in, and it's doing well at the box office.
Sorry you didn't get a dose of, "As the mofo'ing poets turn.."
holla....
5 comments:
*clearing throat* well, i wouldnt mind appearing in a drama, as long as i'm being compensated nicely for it! bring on the wigs and wardrobes bitches!!!!! LOL! ;-P
"move! move! move right outta my life! move it move it! outta my life!" HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
"Believe me, I will not be starring or making any guest appearances in another's drama. There's only one film I'm interested in, and it's doing well at the box office.
Sorry you didn't get a dose of, "As the mofo'ing poets turn.."
Freaking awesome!
And LMAO @ Angel
i see you...
can't wait to hang in g!
fuk em! period. aint ner'one of em payin' yo bills, and word up, HIGH SCHOOL IS DEAD. callin' you now...
HELL YEAH!!! I'm with Mo...Fuk Em! You are a very smart woman and it's ALWAYS nice to be able to see through the shyt! I got ya back like a bra strap if you need...you know what's up!
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