Catchin up...

Let's see.. alot has happened since the last time I've blogged. Most good of course. Well, maybe not, but it's all in perspective...

Let's see. I am still reeling about my birthday celebration. It was prolly one of my all time favorite celebrations. To show my thanks, I had special t-shirts made. I m embracing the love that has been shown to me by many.

Being raised by women doesn't make you anymore a woman, than being raised by a man. Being raised in a single parent, female headed household I learned early. I think around the time I started my period, that I was not the woman of the house, nor was I going to be. I have had friends who's mother believed a boyfriend, or step father over their daughter and what appeared to be "unhealthy communication and advances". Mothers who are inappropriate with the daughter's male friends. Mine was simply, I wasn't running anything but my mouth, not even the shoes I had on my feet, because I didn't buy them. Matter of fact, that idea of competition that stems from being the WOMAN of the house, harbors, creates, and fuels a sense of rivalry among women. You take that insecurity outside the home. How often do we hear women say, "I can't do women." Taking those unhealthy, and pretty damn destructive thoughts into the world and adult relationships with women. When in essence, she's really saying, "I can't do me." Mind you, there is a difference.

There is difficulty in accepting our past, re-wiring some of the circuits and instrumenting change. It has to start with our mind set. I have strayed in and out of the poisonous thinking regarding women and my sense of self. However, I have since surrounded myself with women who don't have time for the competition of who's who, who does she think she is, she ain't better than me, she better recognize, and on and on and on.. It's useless. It's futile. And we recognize it for what it is insecurity that has absolutely nothing to do with US.

My ELM, asked a particular group of women to share in my birthday celebration. Ones, whom in the privacy of our home, I've discussed the following topics which were synonymous with their names: respect, loyalty, a desire to be more, a desire to do more, a strong sense of self, intelligent, brave.... All of whom, somehow, became a part of a very special birthday tribute in one way or another. Even if it was in the heart (Brooklyn!). And from there came my idea...

See the slogan on the side.. "If you're dissing the sisters..." Well, I had thank you t-shirts made for each of them. And to see their faces as I gave it to them, and thanked them for helping me see yet another side of what we can do when we are being our natural loving and nurturing selves. I didn't care if the poem they spit was old, new, or something written especially for the occasion, what I cared about was the willingness and desire to do it AND KNOW IN THEIR HEART OF HEARTS THAT I WOULD APPRECIATE THEIR GIFT. I truly did and continue to do so. It's something I carry daily in my heart. For real.

The other was having an opportunity to hang with my man.. It was rejuvenating. Finding the space that we share and just being there. It was beautiful. Really.

And it's just those things. Those things that have made the last few difficult days, so worth while. I could reflect, have something to fall back on... And to top it off....!!!!

I had an opportunity to vibe with three of the FOUR whom make it this journey so great. I had lunch and movie afternoon with Eb and Angel. Norbit wasn't great, but the fried pickles and conversation was. And really that's all I needed to chase my blues away. And talking to Magnolia Sunshine was so much like that.. Sunshine on a pretty cold, and seemingly lousy day. I love you guys so much. I really do...

See, there really doesn't appear to be a need to talk about what was wrong, becuase reflecting on all that was right, made it all worthwhile.... holla