E. Zora Knight

My photo
a special order, straight queer and strong black.

2007-01-20

Birthday Thoughts

Hurray!!!
I am forever grateful for the path I've taken that has lead me to this place. I made a decision last year that I would not take mine or anyone else's past insanity into another birth year. During the last year, I worked diligently at doing so. I do not harbor any resentments or ill will against anyone who has crossed, walked, jogged, jumped off or who has been pushed off my life's path. In life there are seasons and reasons, we have done what we were were suppose to. We have played the role that each of us were to play in our lives. For that, no matter where you or I stand in each other's lives, I thank God and you, for allowing me the opportunity to vibe with you. Truly. It means that we were living, that we were alive. Live, something so many were unable to do this morning. Life and friendship in themselves are precious gifts to be opened daily. We would never want to open any gift with a jealous, envious person who does not have our best interests at heart in the room. And because, by nature we are selfish and self seeking we imperfectly designed to have our best interests at heart. Remember Eve and the forbidden fruit? She believed it was in her best interest to know. Being human in our humanness it is never meant to hurt people in your life, but it is to protect yourself from people whom you truly believe will steal your energy and your shine. Take care of yourself. My goals in life are not designed to hurt anyone personally. I just want to live and let live. Allow me the time and space to be me, and I am willing to do the same. Which is why, I am truly grateful for my current circle. A group of people whom I would love to call friend and family until our very last day. Really.
I am writing this backwards, i.e. after my birthday, and one remarkable thing I heard at one of my birthday dinners (how cool is that to have more than one?) came from someone whom I've grown to love as a man and a brother. He said, "What would I like for my birthday? Another day, so many people don't get them." Not only do I want that day, but I want to live it out to my full potential and I want people around me to remind me when I'm not. And I want to be able to do the same to others around me, without recourse or consequence. Thankfully, I have and more.
I am thankful for my family and family of friends for being patient and allowing me to be me. Truly giving me the chance to re-grow into my own. At times I know it was as difficult for you as it was for me, but I do believe the path I've chosen will lead me to the place I want to be spiritually, physically, mentally, and financially. I am truly humbled by the patience, persistence, and understanding that has been freely given to me. As Poet in Law says, "Dang."
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and greetings (texts, phone calls, cards, and presents). I do know that my reluctance to give the exact date created a few glitches. I really appreciate you. Those who know me know I'm totally uncomfortable with public attention from others. Contrary to what I project, I'm easily embarrassed. So the entire restaurant joining in on Happy Birthday Saturday night made my usually Indian brown ass, turn purple in a matter of seconds....
"True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice."
Samuel Johnston

3 comments:

Ebony Stewart said...

Saturday night was crazy fun! And we were honored to be their.
And knowing that your wisdom might rub on me someday- hearts curve to you.

Angel said...

as well as we are too, truly humbled by the patience, persistence, and understanding that has been ours to freely give... :-)

Unknown said...

"True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice."
Samuel Johnston

so so so true! it makes me smile to know you enjoyed it...