Exactly.... Last night I knew I blew it up.. That without a doubt, I had at least one 10... Uh... Not even close. Now, don't get me wrong.... I don't get pissy about the judges' scores... I know it's not about me, or my poetry, it's a simple bar game... I did what I was suppose to do.. Silence the crowd and get their attention, so that they are able to at least be willing to listen, which they did... I even got nods of approval.... But, as it goes, the one who seemed to enjoy you the most was the biggest critic.. Not like I really cares, but.... It was Rachel McKibbons.. And if I could have earned at least a nine I would have been cool (for the rest of my life. I would tell the story, 'well you know Rachel McKibbons once gave a me a nine in a slam.' hahahahaha.) Instead, an 8.5. Uh.... In the moment I was totally disappointed.. It lasted a good two minutes, then I was past it and was wishing the team would have done better (3rd of three teams!). The slam game is a tough one, got to be able to make the calls at the drop of a dime and have REALLY deep pockets (memorization of at least 5 pieces). I liken it to chess... You gotta have at least one move in advance, see the entire board and game well before it's played... Neo has entered the realm of slam...I am ecstatic, yet I wonder if we are really ready.. My apprehension.... It requires hella commitment, and often, we as a group haven't been able to commit. The teams that we've assembled that have done well worked their asses off (practicing three - four times per week). The last two I've been a part of are, well, have been, not as focused.. To include me... I could have made suggestions about practice, but life happens when, well, when you're living.... So know, as we begin this quest I question if I am willing, if I have the right attitude, I am so fcking competitive and last night was a hard pill to swallow.... Matter of fact, it's still stuck in my throat... There is so much to slam, and unlike an open mic, you have to get USED TO PERFORMING UNDER 3 MINUTES, OUTSIDE YOUR VENUE, WRITING UNDER PRESSURE, MEMORIZATION, WORKING WITH OTHERS, shyt... Need I stress my self anymore? Probably not....E. Zora Knight
2006-04-17
Exactly.... Last night I knew I blew it up.. That without a doubt, I had at least one 10... Uh... Not even close. Now, don't get me wrong.... I don't get pissy about the judges' scores... I know it's not about me, or my poetry, it's a simple bar game... I did what I was suppose to do.. Silence the crowd and get their attention, so that they are able to at least be willing to listen, which they did... I even got nods of approval.... But, as it goes, the one who seemed to enjoy you the most was the biggest critic.. Not like I really cares, but.... It was Rachel McKibbons.. And if I could have earned at least a nine I would have been cool (for the rest of my life. I would tell the story, 'well you know Rachel McKibbons once gave a me a nine in a slam.' hahahahaha.) Instead, an 8.5. Uh.... In the moment I was totally disappointed.. It lasted a good two minutes, then I was past it and was wishing the team would have done better (3rd of three teams!). The slam game is a tough one, got to be able to make the calls at the drop of a dime and have REALLY deep pockets (memorization of at least 5 pieces). I liken it to chess... You gotta have at least one move in advance, see the entire board and game well before it's played... Neo has entered the realm of slam...I am ecstatic, yet I wonder if we are really ready.. My apprehension.... It requires hella commitment, and often, we as a group haven't been able to commit. The teams that we've assembled that have done well worked their asses off (practicing three - four times per week). The last two I've been a part of are, well, have been, not as focused.. To include me... I could have made suggestions about practice, but life happens when, well, when you're living.... So know, as we begin this quest I question if I am willing, if I have the right attitude, I am so fcking competitive and last night was a hard pill to swallow.... Matter of fact, it's still stuck in my throat... There is so much to slam, and unlike an open mic, you have to get USED TO PERFORMING UNDER 3 MINUTES, OUTSIDE YOUR VENUE, WRITING UNDER PRESSURE, MEMORIZATION, WORKING WITH OTHERS, shyt... Need I stress my self anymore? Probably not....
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6 comments:
Beautiful!!! Thank you for allowing me to visit. I've spend a delightful time in your words.
I know it is hard for a competitive person to calm that part down some. :) Remember what you always tell me, just do your best. And sometimes it will be about your work and other times it will be about the audience. You are a very very strong poet. Competition if you harness it, can help improve your game. :)
i am understanding so much lately, still a helluva way to go...
it is like a chess game isn't it...must see all the angles and players and obstacles allllll ahead of time...
being coach right now, can't do it...too much stress on top of stress of performing in itself. plus i don't want anyone mad at me...i am a pleaser, a terrible fault at times...
still learning, still learning
by the way...your performance was mesmerizing...captivating...swaying with you and the snaps...perfect
for one i comprehended everything u wrote and two, even in my baby steps into this form of art i can "lil sis" relate to how u felt.
it's hard to let something like that go even if u know u need to. oh and three.... love ya =-) (i'll be home soon)
yo, i have been "slamming" less than a year but i see where you are coming from. yet, i take each disappointment as a learning experience...it makes me strong and more focused. im scared to REALLY become competiive because its all fun for me now...and i dont
want to lose that aspect of slamming.....just come that much more determined next time!!
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