From here.. Things go no where but UP... I used to believe that I enjoyed moving.. A new beginning, a means of starting over... I never accumulated a lot of things, lived similar to a man, not a lot of clutter, not a lot of clothes/shoes. Buy quality so you can never afford to collect shit for the sake of collecting... My motto: if I didn't wear it or use it in a year, and it had little if any sentimental value it could be given or thrown away easily... I guess that changes after you buy a home. I have so much little shit... I have walked over to my future old neighbors' home at least five times this morning with things for their church garage sale. And I still have more things to give... Joe and Kim2 helped on Thursday.. We talked mostly, with little if any real packing.. Which was cool. I only wanted the company.... While I am excited about one chapter of my life closing and another one opening up... It is still a bit painful to walk away from the place I called once called home... Conflicting, because I am ohh so ready to start a new chapter in my life... Every place I lived since I was 11 years old contained or added up to the number 11. It is also my favorite number... Growing up my address was 111, old address 4007 = 11, new address 1703 = 11, another address, with apt. 722 = 11 and apt. 1110. I could go on but why.. Right?
My back started hurting a few days ago. I know why... I'm becoming a bit lazy... Not in the obesely morbid way, just, you know, I'd rather nap, watch TV, read a book, watch the clock, as opposed to pack or move anything... I've never been one to shy away from work. Matter of fact, often I looked for things to do... I think subconsciously, I am becoming one of those people.... I want to settle down, make a home with some one who loves me as I love them, grow old together, plant flowers and trees, celebrate holidays and create traditions of our very own, you know that happily ever after.. So as I pack and throw things away, I am throwing away all the things that prevented me from being successful in relationships in the past. I want to box, and take with me those things that have allowed me to love freely and tenderly.. Hoping this occasion will be the one that will foster that side of me and allow it to grow....
So as I drove away from my old house with things that needed to be sorted and boxed, I thought about the short distance to my new home... Funny, the home we are to build together, just like the two of us.. Were always in short proximity of one another.. We just had to wait until it was ready.... And it was in due time...
3 comments:
"So as I pack and throw things away, I am throwing away all the things that prevented me from being successful in relationships in the past. I want to box, and take with me those things that have allowed me to love freely and tenderly.. Hoping this occasion will be the one that will foster that side of me and allow it to grow.... "
yes ma'am, i think you've got it... :)
Movin is always hard. I am about to go through some of that myself. I REFUSE to carry all this clutter to the new place. I have to really go through throwing away stuff I dont need. My home is chaotic cause I have too much usless crap or crap I dont want to let go of for some reason. My mom is a new definition of pack rat. And I have inherited some of it. But I am PROMISING myself this time, no clutter. No matter how much i think I will use it. If I dont or havent it has to go. It is a sort of cleansing. You are cleansing and it is both refreshing and scary. You can do it ma...a reason for everything.
i am so happy for your move, for your love, and for the seeds you two will plant together...and what beautiful fruit it will bare.
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