E. Zora Knight

My photo
a special order, straight queer and strong black.

2005-12-24

Christmas

I hate Christmas.
I hate Mother's Day.
I have a personal relationship with God, but disdain for most organized religion.

Every Christmas I asked Santa for my mom.
Every mother's day I am reminded that I don't have one.
My great grandmother told me that God answered prayers. He never answered the ones about my mother.

I know God forgave me. I forgave him.

It's not blasphemous.

2 comments:

bRandy said...

i have often wrestled with guilt over being angry or upset with God...but in the end I realize that He says he's our friend and our parental figure, etc...and in those types of relationships that is a natural, normal emotion to go through...glad to know i'm not the only one...

CousinSarah said...

I may have to post about this myself sometime. I just hope I can get to where you are in the line before last. I am not sure I am equipt with the ability to truly have faith anymore. I not only abhor most types of organized religion, I feel somewhat lost in my quest of creating the amalgamation of ideologies that most make sense. I believe God exsists. I do. I just really really hope that someday I FEEL that God exists without it being a momentary flash.