so fly?

last night they found him.... dead... on the windowsill. still. lifeless. no one made a sound. how could they? why would they? they had seen it coming... numb to the annoyance of his buzzing in their ears, they had simply forgotten his existence, his insistence ... no matter how many times some one opened a window or a door to aid him in possible escape, he turned, knowing that he, only he knew what was best. despite the wind that blowed ever so softly, flirting with his wings, he in fear, or insolence, ignored the possibility of unbridled freedom... instead, steadfast, he hung around light bulbs and in closets with moths... only to find he didn't fit in. not aware that those of air have vastly different purposes.... yet he remained, despite warning and insistence... in spite of the internal messages ever resounding, as familiar as his voice, his need to fly, his need to die... the lure of the window, a complex illusion; his arrogance manipulated his weakness, suicidal to the casual observer, his destiny nonetheless... to torture himself, to see what was on the other side, yet afraid to live in the unfamiliar familiarity of his nature.. last night they found him.... wings stiff, eyes dead, cold, glazed, fixated on what lies just past the glass of that window......
FREE YOURSELF FROM DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR
last night the gods smiled upon me.... i had an opportunity to close out a show. something i'd never really done or saw the honor in doing... and believe me it was an honor. like some, perhaps most, based on conversations i was extremely disappointed in egotistical behaviors, but a casual observer knows... and i knew what i've always known.... few love it because they love it....and i just love it.... it is a drug, a time to shine, a time to get what they so desperately lack in their everyday lives, attention, adoration, love, _______________. missing the point of the gathering. leaving behind those, whom you believed in contradiction and selfish sense of entitlement, were less than, need not be afforded the opportunity to shine... in your arrogance you missed the lesson and the blessing of the gathering. you spit it and quit it. yet you believe that you earned the stripes for the work that we put in week after week.... again, i point out, you spit it and quit it... truly missing the point of what we have become, something bigger than you... truly humbled and honored for the opportunity to spit with and fellowship in an audience of our peers, a kinship... if there was ever a test to pass, you failed miserably in my eyes... no this is not just to one soldier in particular... this is to all who feel they have the write and sign off as a NEO-SOULDIER and are unwilling to put in the work...