RestDOOM

why do things always seem to start with or around the restDOOM at work? It seems paper graffiti has returned.... no wait, i'm a bit ahead of myself....

i walked into a fireworks display at sea world..... between the bombastic thumps and heavy splashes of water, my mind couldn't quite comprehend, what was singing my nose hairs upon entering the door.... i was met with the most foul odor. it was almost as if something in something in something in something in something had died about a million years ago and clawed it's way to freedom... this was fossil shyt and farts which once combined with air, exploded... canvassing all that lay in it's path.. what does one have to eat to obtain that level acridness? mystery shyter was at it again... except this time it was lethal... i, as usual, filled to the brim with coffee and water COULD NOT fathom making the 300 yard or so trek to building five.... the cleanest of all. so, i took in what i believed to be my final gulp of air and entered the stall. now, there are ONLY THREE STALLS and one is handicapped. since we have several people in the building who need it, i don't use it... so i was forced into the one next to mystery shyter... there were no signs to remind her to courtesy flush... so she just sat there, with what i know had to be tons of *7^%$-+@*&}\. (there was no word to describe it) i'm thinking to myself "we both know what you're doing could you at least FLUSH THAT SHYT DOWN THE TOILET".... i was also thinking of the infamous line in Armistad "Make us free." Surely she was not immune to the *7%^$^0};% (smell).. i mean it would make skunks, stink bugs, wolverines, hyenas, and tasmanian devils fall to their knees and call her GOD... she just sat there holding her breath, trying not to move, then had the unmitigated gall to move her feet over... like i didn't know someone else was in there? is she fcking crazy? what? did she believe that she had some super power, like turning invisible while taking a dump? i was beginning to become angry with myself cuz it felt like i would never get thru.. and i still had to wash my hands.. all the while fearing that SOMEONE would walk in and believe i was responsible for the contamination.. and believe me that what she was doing..... i rushed to wash my hands and immediately walked outside the restDOOM door to the exit door. i needed to air off.... as i walked i wondered if fabreeze would have helped....
a few hours later as i am preparing to leave for the day, of course, i have to go to the restDOOM again.....
as i enter, i realize that paper graffiti has returned. you gotta love her tenacity and determination....
the signs had returned, except this time there was a new one. upon the stall in which mystery shyter occupied earlier was a sign, neatly hand printed on salmon paper, it read: PLEASE DON'T USE UNTIL CLEANED.
man... what da fck. makes you ALMOST WONDER what really happened in there... and i hoped that the ushers for the devil which had escaped from depths of her ass earlier weren't running around the building trying to take over...