just thoughts...

between sneezing, watering eyes, scratchy throat, and an occasional need to take a nap... i won't complain.. am coming down with allergies which by saturday will become bronchitis. an annual occurrence. welcome to winter in austin, texas. the allergenic capitol of the world. if there is such.....
today was the thanksgiving luncheon. they requested that i perform... well, actually, the conversation went something like this:
her:" ______________. we are having our thanksgiving luncheon friday. we would really like for you to come over and do something. that is, if you aren't charging. you still do some performances for charity. for free? huh?"
me: "i didn't think i could charge. yea, i'll do it. what time? how many pieces?"
her: "well you could, but since you work here, we couldn't pay you. we are providing you with a meal. it starts at 11:30. as many as you want."
me: "since it's for free, i'll do one. naw, i wouldn't charge you, but i will only do one." secretly i'm thinking 1) i've seen these people and their bathroom manners are atrocious so i can only inmagine, nightmarishly, of course, what they do when they cook. a person that won't clean their hands after they wipe their ass could never provide me with a meal.... 2) can get lay's and a few others off my ass, since they run around here saying i'm on the phone when i'm practicing for a show....
i did the piece flawlessly and effortlessly...
then...i hate it when they... now, i'm not grouping all people who do not share my pigmentation in the same category, but since when does "you are so articulate, you speak so well, so eloquently" serve as a compliment? somehow, the comment comes across as if they are surprised that i could do anything aside from walk.. especially since i've been accused of being on the phone so frequently, you would think anyone that talked as much as they say i talk would speak well, hell look at all the practice i get....
anyway, it went well, got compliments, awes, stares, especially from those who remember me when i first started and have been supportive since the old building and agency. that's why i did it.. for the ones who supported me and encouraged me from the beginning, who ask frequently about performance and how i'm doing. i wanted to give something to them and that felt good.
speaking of giving back.. i had the opportunity to perform in san marcos last night. it was great. i sat back and listened to the students, the new voices, it was magnificent. truly inspired by their thoughts and creativity. took me back to when i first started. i recognized in that moment how important it is to give your attention to those young people. how just a few minutes listening from your heart and commenting did so much... for all of us.... so i must say to the poets who go places to spit and leave without listening to others, you do yourself and the people around you an injustice........