rainbowed rollercoasters

your dreams wrestled my rainbows leaving a pot of golden tears.....
she loved you, still does, despite the rainbowed rollercoaster she rides almost daily to be presently available in your shadow.... somehow believing if she stood patiently strong, one day the rain that drowns your dreams would dissipate, and allow the vibrant colors of her love, to still you... to allow you to rest peacefully, if only for a moment.
she pays to wait in line. she pays with time and tears that seem to race backward... time slows and allows her to swallow her pain.. walk head high for the both of you, even when yours is too heavy to cast a reflection. cuz someone has to be strong. someone has to be there in case, you allow yourself to show up for you.... and she, well, she just wants to bear witness to your successes. even if it's only once in her lovetime.
she cries silently, sharing your pain. on some days she believes it is the only thing you share. her words whisper prayers to breezes, believing those northerly winds, would somehow, one day, wisp the heaviness from your core and allow you to soar. she wants to blow the dust from your wings with cotton candy flavored kisses, even if you are unable to taste the sweetness in their intent.
she re-reads the notes from your good days, when life is light, and love colours the skies... she prays that autumn will bring promises and hope.. promises that will not be kept... hope that falls short of wanning desires.... the description of cinnamon, peony, freshia, and citrus fruits creating a life together, just shy of reality....
she knows, she knows that she is a leaf hanging desperately, fighting her nature to hold on... fight against herself, as it is in the complexity of her temper to let go.... to blow aimlessly, touching everything momentarily, to her there is
no permanence in another...
no permanence in this lifetime...
no permanence in living in memories of love long lost....
and the only thing that waits at the end of the rainbowed rollercoaster is a pot of golden tears....