That's What the Sign Read.... I SWEAR

Anal Swing for Sale

It is a very beautiful Texas Summer Morning. Hip Hop and I cruised into the city a midst the morning traffic. As always we take city streets thru quirky, ecletic neighborhoods and urban blight. I speak as if I live in HarlemWorld, NY or someplace as exciting, but it's the ATX. Hip and I are chilling to Raheem DeVaugn's BELIEVE which has become our anthem for a lifetime. A little groggy from the previous night (one too many Heinikens and Red Headed Sluts), but enjoying eeach other, the hugs and caresses of the cool breeze and glances from other driver's. Despite our ages, we are cute as hell, and we look even cuter together.
As I arrive at a 5 way stop near Hyde Park, I notice a single standing sign along the curb ajacent to me. You know, one of those rentals people use outside stores? Anyway, the sign read "Anal Swing for Sale. 454-3612. OLE". In that moment, I swear, at least three of the people at the stop read the sign at the exact time. We all burst out laughing, glanced at one another, made gestures, and in a rarer moment sincerely smiled in each's direction. It appeared as if in that second, no one cared about what was on their minds previously. Our twisted sense of humor made us a merry trio. As we each moved thru the stop sign, we waved and went on with our day.
It's stupid, I know, but I can tell you that moment instantly added value to my life. Despite how different and unique I want to be, the truth of the matter is I'm not. Other people hurt, laugh, cry, love deeply, suffer loss and triumph. Our approaches are as different as snowflakes falling during a New England blizzard, but they're snowflakes nonetheless. Just as we are all human, uniquely similiar. I guess what I'm trying to say is, something as simple as three strangers meeting at a 5 way stop served as a lesson as meaningful as a semester of basic psychology at an Ivy League University. No one needed to tell me that humor brings people together, as does loneliness, grief, and despair. But why do we cling so desperately to one another during pain, as opposed to happiness? I mean we share joyous events like birthdays, weddings and births, but seldom has anyone called me and said "Hey, 13, I want you to come over 'cuz I'm happy as hell and I want to celebrate."
One of the most important characteristics in the love of my life is a smile. Seldom do I smile, 'cuz my teeth are crooked, but I love a big beautiful, beaming smile. As a matter of fact, their smile makes me forget my teeth are crooked, and like anything contagious, I, too, begin to smile. That person also has to have a sense of humor. So we can laugh at ourselves, each other and other people. Believe me, if you can laugh about it, you can get resolve it, get thru the moment, and live thru it, despite it.
The prankster in me wanted to call the number to inquire about the anal swing. I desperately wanted see if the person on the other line could find the humor and irony in it all. But the human in me knew that it wouldn't be as hilarious at 7:25 am, especially, (excuse the pun) when the person on the end of the line is the butt of the joke... HUMAN HUMOR RULE #1: It's only funny when it's not happening to you. HUMAN HUMOR RULE #2: Recognize quickly when it's no longer funny.
My ass has been in the sling as well as the hot seat, I now know where I can find a swing.........

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