Auto Focus, 'Cuz I Ain't No Holla Back Gurl...... I Ain't No Holla Back!

"What a long strange trip it's been." Grateful Dead

"A few times I've been around that track, so it's not just gonna to happen like that 'cuz I ain't no hollaback girl." Gwen Stefani

The first seven months of the year have been a journey, very formidable, to say the least. My journey has been twisted filled with obstacles and turns, along the way there have been sites of interest, wonderment and surprise. I have been victorious in triumph and defeat. Had clear vision in darkness, as in light. Found reasons to be hopeful in times of sheer bliss and utter despair. I have gained enemies once believed to be friends, and been afforded goodwill thru opposition. I have never been a religious person, but a praying one, and I am thankful that I reap the benefits of small talks with my GOD (Good Orderly Direction). And I have found GOD in some of the strangest places and situations. My great grandmother used to say that God looks out for babies and fools. I have often wondered which was I, particularity as the days go by. While the last seven months have left me, pretty much unscathed, strong evidence that there is a GOD, I have been scratched by close calls and lessons that I have seemingly ignored. I am intelligent enough to realize my time is running short, and that at some point I will suffer severe consequences as a result of my ongoing poor choices. Or shall I say, unwillingness to make choices altogether. It would be exaggerating if I were to say I've made little decisions aside from possibly what I am going to eat or not eat for dinner. But in essence it is probably 85% accurate. I have allowed situations to dictate a forced solution, not a choice, in other words I have been forced in most decisions believing there would be favorable results. Or the victim in me will say such.
It wasn't until a recent battle with a yet another, small case of hives , ongoing frustration, and a sheer desire to get what I want, did I decide it was time to reclaim my life. Now, I've had a good time. Since January, there have been significant positive changes in my life. Yet, I believe that there are some things I have held onto because I am nostalgic or just plain afraid, paralyzed with fear, ya know.
My girl Ife's message states:
"Hey, I'm going thru some shit and because of that I had to make some changes in my life, and if you don't get a call back, you were one of them."
I believe this is the stance I am going to take til the end of the year. Not entertain anything or anyone that does not have an added value to my current life's situations. And when asked why, I'm simply say, "I'm going thru some shit and because of that I needed to make some changes......."