"we're gonna need lots of drinks."

"Flap, one of your strengths has always been your ability to recognize your weaknesses. This is one of them." Aurora Greenway.

Speed dial: 028
phone rings.
"what's up, 26 year?" voice says thru yawn. "you a'right. it's late."
"what's down, 26 year?" I respond flatly.
"talk to me."
"it is happening again. you know i don't like "groups of friends" and "in" crowds. i especially don't like people thinking they know me. i don't like being a part of. i am a loner. and as it always does. despite my best efforts, fall a part. and as usual i internalized the lines from one of our favorite childhood films."
"you didn't," voice says thru laughter, "you still doing that same stuff i see. you never change."
i smile thru words, "never. if not for me, who? well i have found one that has me considering the possibility. but I would never admit it to another soul, but you."
"still using dogmatic and opinionated? you paced didn't you? talked with your hands? continued 'til you pissed at least one person off?" I could tell that there was a lot of head shaking on the other line.
"yup."
"when will you learn?"
"when the pain is greater then the reward."
"same reward, 26 years later?"
"yup."
"do they know?"
"they don't care."
"did anybody die?"
"no, no one died. funny, i haven't been able to kill anyone off. haven't quite gotten thru the ceremony in my mind. remember how I used to say, as they spoke, with each word, a shovelful of dirt fell upon their coffin? then I could just walk away and never look back. can't seem to do that with them. they keep coming back. or at least I do."
"maybe you're learning how to forgive."
"please, that's not taylor-like."
"i think it is."
"then why do i want to retreat? listen to good music. read good words. drink good liquor. and have good sex. i do not want to be responsible for other's feelings. and i don't expect other's to be responsible for mine. we all make choices."
"mother's curse/father's legacy?"
"yup."
"you're not that cold anymore. why do you try so hard to be?"
"it's safer."
"have you talked to my mom?" voice asks, changing the subject, but i knew where the conversation was heading.
"not this week. you, of all people know i have to do this my way."
"it's not working."
"it's working. the perimeter of the fortress is safe. besides, when i need. I have you, 26 years later."
"and another 26 years."
"you think?"
"you haven't run me off yet."
"have i tried?"
"naw. i just met you when things were innocent. when it was easy to forget. when it didn't hurt, ya kno'?"
"yup. and now, i just can't remember."
"remember what?"
"what it's like not to."
"i know. i know. i love you 26."
"i love you, too, 26."
Dial tone.