E. Zora Knight

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a special order, straight queer and strong black.

2006-10-01

The Power of RE

Seldom if ever do I discuss my early Sunday morning activity. I believe in a personal relationship with G.O.D. (good orderly direction). And religion, like politics as well as who you should love are the quickest ways to clear a room and end friendships. However, this sermon was so powerful that I wanted to share it. And also some randomness that could only come from my twisted mind....
God you know my heart and my intentions..
First, I do not attend the church I am a member of, as of late, it has become the church to place on your resume, if you are an upwardly mobile, employed by the State of Texas in a mid to upper management level African American or Black between the ages of 30 and 55 and reside in the Negroville/Brown Rock/Wells Black area... (Pflugerville/Round Rock/Wells Branch). I have to avoid the grocery store on weekends, days off and (not) sick days, because I can EASILY RUN INTO AT LEAST 5 people from work or another area within the HHSC enterprise. So I began attending another one closer to my home. Anyway...
The Minister of the church was away, so the Sr. Minister delivered the service. He discussed the idea of RE-
Function: prefix Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin re-, red- back, again, against 1 : again : anew 2 : back : backward
You know, re-newing, re-doing, re-acclimating, re-juvinating, re-adjusting, re-dedicating, re-emphasizing, etc... Because sometimes you have to start from the inside... Circumstances allow the exterior to change, but re-adjusting and re-visiting your home, your base, causes us to re-examine our lives. Make necessary changes to re-invent you or re-discovering who YOU are... Asking God to just Re you. I'm an English major so his use of the concept and words were great. He even stated he was an English major, so I was really feeling and following him, until....
God you know my heart and my intentions, during the sermon there was a slide presentation on the wall behind, highlighting the POINTS of the sermon. WHY was the word divine, spelled incorrectly not once, but twice. Thank goodness for the third time is a charm intervention, by the time the third slide came across the screen, I was elated. However, the misspelling of the word caused me to focus on two things, he didn't enunciate well and he had a horrible Ft. Worth accent, all of which, I abhor! Thank goodness it only lasted five minutes or so, and I kept praying that I'd re-focus and not burst out laughing. Especially when I turned around and a little girl was telling her mother the word was misspelled. Don't get me wrong I still enjoyed the service.... It was one of the best I heard. And it's right in line with my mantra.... At the beginning of the year, I was on a plan to make some changes in my life, and they have been positive. I need to continue to make more. I haven't looked outside myself, but within. And it's working. I work at not surrounding myself with needy people, and while I don't set boundaries with the few needy people who remain in my life, I am working at allowing them the space to work through their shit. It's not mine to carry. I can't know anyone, unless I re-introduce me to me.
I realized I have been hurt and broken since I changed my name to thir13teen in early 2004. I had just ended a five year relationship because I could live with compatibility, and he needed someone who loved him more than I could at that time. It hurt, to face that realization. And unlike most women, I made a choice to be alone, not lonely, but it didn't change the anger I felt, not toward him, but me. My grand became very ill... And I continued to make choices that were not in my best interest. September 11, 2004, I lost the last matron of my village. And I allowed people in my life who would have never been allowed there, let alone my home. And yes, I paid a rather steep price for those choices. People talked about me, lied on me, and fcked over me, my name, my kindness, and then blamed me when I wanted to make changes for the better. January 2006, I made a decision to look at my life, and for the better, people fell off and out of my life. I re-examined definitions, re-defined them in most case, re-directed my life and my energies. Re-newed friendships based on mutual trust, honesty and respect. Today, I don't use the words friend, trust, or respect lightly. And re-discovered a word... frenemy which I am no longer afraid to use.
In paraphrasing the words of the great street philosopher:
Allow me to re-introduce myself, my name is Kim, K to the I M.....

3 comments:

joey said...

"I kept praying that I'd re-focus and not burst out laughing." i had to LOL...
another september, another lesson, another life...it's nice to meet you KIM

Angel said...

sounds like the sermon was right in line with what you needed to hear...?
**cues Shug Avery's music for "God is trying to tell you something..."** ;-)

Copasetic Soul said...

hello K to the I M..., its a pleasure to meet you.

cool sermon, im glad that you didnt burst out laughing. but i do wonder how many OTHER people saw that the word was spelled wrong and chuckled a bit?