Ketchup? Of course, Heinz....

10.20.06 Friday
It's gonna be a memorable weekend.
I drop by Johnston to check on my girl. I've found that giving a small piece of me is the only way I can further myself on this journey. At times it gets the best of me and my emotions. Sometimes, taking these strong skilled hands and turning them on self, snatching and clawing away at all that.... It just is.
She smiles when she sees me in the hall. Wonders how I found her. Says all adults lie to her and she didn't expect any different from me. She didn't expect to see me, especially on Friday afternoon. We talk, we ride. She says thank you with inquisitive eyes and questions which I answer to her surprise. She's gonna try out for the basketball team next week. I wish her luck, I have to leave on Monday for work. She gives me a gentle embrace through eye contact. I know the pain she hides. All I want to be is someone who listens and is there. I give her my card, write my cell number on the back, and tell her I'll see her a week from Monday. I can't promise anything else, because I may have to work late because of the work I will be doing next week. She says thank you.
The kids come to town. My niece and nephew have not met their new family, so it's gonna be interesting. They love their Aunt Kimmie, so they'll love her choices. You think? Maybe... The boychild volunteers to ride and falls asleep midway. So me the niece and nephew catch up. My sister does a wonderful job with them. They are beautiful, intelligent and free thinking free spirits. They make my heart smile... Yes, God.. Thank you, I have no seed of my own, but I will leave a legacy behind.
10.21.06 Saturday
A house full of kids 15 through 2. Running, playing , painting, cartoons... My nephew, the boychild and I go to the park to play basketball. I beat him in horse two times. He beats me one on one with only outside shots. We talk between swishes of net and beads of sweat. He remembers how I used to torture him, beating him every year.. Summer after summer. The last two have been a no go because of basketball camps. He can't wait to beat me. I can wait to lose to him.. He remembers that I am the one who purchased his first basketball goal. We laugh because it was Grant Hill (who almost never played a full season)... He knows I want him to be a Duke man. He wants to play in Austin so that I don't have to miss a home game (spend the night on the weekends). He doesn't know yet that he will want to spend time on campus and enjoy his new found freedom. He's fifteen and still loves his parents, aunt and sister like as he did as a toddler.. Never wanting anyone far from eye sight or ear shot. He's a man now... She, wanting to be with her brother tags along, but like her mother can't stand to sweat. Erica rescues her and takes her home to paint. When we arrive they are painting a mirror.. She smiles, look Aunt Kimmie... I'm taking this one home. But I need to make you another picture so that you can replace the one in your office. I want her to follow her heart and paint the world she wants to live in... And I will try to live through her eyes, if only for those moments when I miss her most and stare into the black marker scrawling matted and framed in the sitting room.
10.22.06 Sunday
There are like 6 kids in the house and she loves it. I mistakenly make breakfast for an army (eggs, sausage, and biscuits). Everyone's walking around in pj's scampering for covers, huddled in front of the television. The girls start crafting and the youngest of the crew can't make up her mind between the boys or the girls. Running up and down the stairs. I think I like this feeling.... It reminds me of a time when we all (my sister and cousins) spent the night with one another.. I thought the older ones would be tired since they had a party when our old asses went to sleep.. But they were just getting started....
10.23.06 Monday
damn.. It's not daylight savings weekend and I've lost an hour sleep... Traveling for the job.. Got to love it... Moving toward that promotion and it feels good.... Feels real good...
10.24.06 Tuesday
miss home.. Listen to my new john legend.... Damn john... Damn...
10.25.06 Wednesday bringing grateful back
01) having a home to return to after a long short week of work.
02) prayers... Yes they are answered
03) prioritizing.. I didn't go on the tour, in some ways it's a bummer, but I have to work toward my goal to become a managing auditor.
04) vicarious living.. I can live through them and read their blogs.. Still won't stop the jealousy, but thank god for # 2..
05) moving on... Damn.. It feels good to just be moving on, trying to remember the lessons but not reliving the pain, or re-creating the story. My eyes are wide open.
06) calling people on the phone and asking stupid questions before you say hello like, "you ever smell a fart so fresh, you almost have to wonder if it's you?" or "have you ever ran your finger past your nose, and thought perhaps you put your hand some where it really didn't belong?" it makes you laugh to make them laugh...
07) poetry and oh my gosh hosting.. I get to do it tonight...
08) the Anthony David street team package baby... Mix tape cd's, posters, man what am I gonna do?
09) breathing.. And never taking it for granted...
10) clarity.. Again so much better from here..

10.26.06
did I mention they are working my ass off? I'm in meetings all day. No IM's, no blogs, no e-mails, dang...

10.27.06
did I mention they're working my ass off? It's Friday, 6:05 and I'm still working, while trying to post this blog....

Hey you! You know who you are... let's meet for lunch at the same place all those Mondays ago. You game? If so call me...

And you, let's go to Starbuck's call me this weekend or I'll call you... Okay Lovely?

COPA I LOVE YOU!!!!!! MO I LOVE YOU, TOO!