Going Back To Me...

I was talking to my 29 year old (we refer to one another by the years of our friendship) the other day. She remarked on how different I was during the last visit, and the dis-ease/disease I showed in my own skin. She stated "..... While, it was good to see you more outgoing, there were things that were not your character. Just not you." Initially I wanted to be defensive, because I really didn't want to hear it. But she was right. We talked about "thir13teen" the character. And how I had begun to operate under the guise of duplicity, and I was failing miserably. We laughed. We laughed and giggled about the years, and how we both, under pressure, fear, anxiety, angst, success, and happiness, made changes, attempted to alter our path, but it would always lead it back to this point. Back here. Back home. Where you feel the most comfortable. I think that's why I've grown close to one person in particular as of late. She reminds me of that place. She reminds me of being too young to be old, and too old to be young. If that makes sense. You've read before that I was reared by my great grand. From 5 to 11, my formative years. She was at least sixty years my junior. Can you imagine? Most can't. Here are 21 very true things about me as well as some things that people forgot.

01. I cannot dance. No matter how hard I try. I just doesn't feel comfortable.
02. I say the same prayer she taught me. Anytime I need a prayer that's the one I turn to.
03. I am a nerd, and have never been cool in persona. I was good in sports and was funny. There's a huge difference.
04. I don't particular care to drink alcohol. Most people forget that when I started at Neo-Soul I didn't drink anything stronger than a coke.
05. I used to smoke cigarettes. Actually I smoked for nearly ten years. Marlboro Lights in a box and cloves.
06. In undergrad I preferred alternative/college music over R&B and Rap.
07. I wanted to be a Delta more than anything in the world.
08. I went to undergrad on a volleyball scholarship. It was my weakest sport.
09. I turned down LSU because I was going to be red-shirted, and if I was allowed to run, I would not run indoor.
10. If I can't be with the person whom I love, I'd rather be alone.
11. I prefer to visit with people, not in person, but over the phone while driving.
12. I'm really TOTALLY uncomfortable in crowds.
13. I REALLY don't like attention. Think about it, I wear dark colors, travel alone, and before I hosted, sat in the back alone, or with one or two people. And when I'm not hosting, I hardly sit, I stand in the corner.
14. If I could live anywhere it'd be Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts. YES, EVEN IN THE WINTER!
15. I prefer mid tempo to slow songs with really good lyrics. My all-time favorite lyricists are Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye.
16. I prefer all of my friends, lovers and aquaintances to be older than me.
17. If I could have a dog, it would be a schnauzer.
18. If I could purchase any car it would be 1984 Volkswagen Rabbit/1969 Volkswagen Thing/1967 Lincoln Continetal with suicide doors.
19. If I won the Lottery I wouldtake a 6 week vacation to Mykonos, Greece; The Kimberly, Austalia; and Costa Rica and RETURN TO MY CURRENT PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT.
20. My favorite past-time is looking at television, mindless reality t.v shows, because I don't watch soap operas, they remind me of my village.

21. I go to the same Starbuck's each and every time in every city I have traveled, no matter where it is located. (I go to Starbuck's 6 of 7 days a week.)