E. Zora Knight

My photo
a special order, straight queer and strong black.

2005-12-01

ALL YOURS, Cliques, and Resolutions

Every once in a while I am reminded why it's cool as hell to roll with a clique. I've never really been a fan, ya know?
Little Insight 'Bout 13
i've not always been this hella cute, charming, with a devilish grin, cinnamon brown tipped, locked wearing sista.. as a kid i was fcking weird (still am) skinny as hell, wore glasses (still do), tomboy athletic, prep-like nerd. while i wore the fashionable clothes, i was never trendy. i was a fcking nerd... but i had three things that people capitalized on, in other words accepted me for 1)i was an exceptional athlete, 2) i was funny as hell, played the your mama game better than anyone in school, and 3) had a way with authority, if you got in trouble with me, you were guaranteed to be granted a get out of jail for free card. aside from that i fell strongly in that group of kids who would have never been noticed. i mean my best friend Jeffrey (langston is the adult version of him) read comic books like the damn new york times. he even STILL had that youthful imagination and skill most little pre adolescent boys had, until they discovered girls, the ability to draw comic book characters free hand. the other kids that i considered my friends were outcast and rejects. so, my acceptance to the "in" crowd lasted only the school year, while most relationships with the "outcasts" lasting during summer trips. We exchanged post cards and letters from various places we spent with our family and distant relatives. Two of those people are my friends to this day.... Don't get me wrong I loved high school, some of the best days of my life.
BACK 2 REALITY
I hate groups for those reasons, but there are some very personal reasons as well. Cliques remind me of socially accepted gangs. They can be brutal, cruel, and well, challenging. As an adult it becomes worse, because it can cut close to the core of your being as it relates to your belief system and basic values. Sometimes, being a true friend and loyalty to your group can be in direct conflict.
Last night wasn't the best night of poetry. Matter of fact, I kind of wanted to avoid it. Due to the above mentioned. I hate getting called up late in the night. But everybody can't be next. There are some who's the hot poet now shyt. Everybody can't be hot. There were some lulls, I was a bit bored. I can't wait to host 'cuz I'll be more involved and then I can work my way to being more attentive. I count the days down as I want to be inspired at an open mic. I want someone to come in and make me want to write some HOT AZZ SHYT.... and then it happened.
Brother just came to me and said, you and relentle (check my links for the golden triangle mojo) made me raise the bar. I got something for you. Now before I go into that, my manchild Relentle wrote a gorgeous piece regarding brotherhood. Funky Mike Whalen (check BIG SLEEP 666) I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HIM AS A WRITER/POET/MAN. I probably freak him out everytime I hug and squeeze him when he comes thru. He is a beautiful gentle "giant" who reminds me how I miss Jeffrey, high school, comic books, playing until the street lights came on, summer vacations, post cards and innocence.
ALL YOURS, a chocolate smooth brother with a large smile and heart, hit the stage and BLEW IT THE FCK UP!!! The show could have, no should have stopped there. PERIOD. I don't really remember who came up after that. No, I do, but you get the jest. Now, I was going to brag that Burn was the hottest piece this year, but HELL TO THE NAW, I will have to take second chair, if it was a competition... I can't even remember the name of the piece he did, I remember lines and my skin is till burning it was that damn HOT, then he followed it up with Fetish. I am afraid of what may happen once he tightens them up. OH MY GOSH! I mean, yea, I'm still talking about it.... DAMN!
Anyway. I got the inspiration I needed, not just to write, but to live. Being a part of a creative collective that not only encourages, competitively teases and fosters growth is a wonderful thing. It's only when the other shyt gets in the way that there are problems. And the problem do not define the group, the manner in which they are resolved is the true test. And the funny thing is, no one ever looked at anything as an issue that needed to be resolved, just something to work thru. you gotta love 'em... and i do, most days....

4 comments:

CousinSarah said...

The feeling is mutual mentor. You inpsire me on the regular.

LOVE YOU!

bRandy said...

it's nice to see someone doing for you what you do for me (and others) on the regular...get you excited, get you inspired, and give you something to keep on talking about. must've been some real hot sh*t...sorry I missed that! i look forward to seeing what it produces out of you G3...
B

Shelle said...

Damn!! got to agree w/ya on this one. that chocolate smooth brotha is hot right now, can't imagine what he will do hanging w/us more...do i smell a souljah in our midst?
what u say of others, 13 we say about U....u r a fcking genious
i just want to be a loc in your hair just to hear u think.

Mahogany L. Browne said...

who's chocolate smooth brother? damn - and where's the poem link!

in need of inspiration.

m