wear me as your birth right,
as if you always knew,
the complexities of
sunrise
sunset
that which falls
between
moonlight
the clouds
sunlight
the stars...
an aged sweater
falling
softly from
shoulders
scented heavily
with
secrets
resembling
sheer fresia
peony
clinging to
fibers
riding
stolen
moments
between
dusk
memories
dawn
of existence....
color you
shades
of red
yellow
draped
in autumn
orange
vibrant
warm
crisp
ever changing...
allow me to fall
kdtaylor 2005
E. Zora Knight
2005-09-15
Our First Autumn
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4 comments:
Kim,
I know you probably get tired of me sweatin' your pieces all the time and not offering any constructive criticism. Well the truth is that either A) I am not poetically verse enough to know what's wrong with this or B) your shyt really just is quite wonderful...I'll leave it up to you as to which of those things is true. I tried hard to find a flaw in this one, something I coudl give you other than that I love it...but the only thing I could find wrong, was that it wasn't complete yet. Sorry....must suck to be that damn good. I'll keep trying to find constructive criticism when I read your stuff, but bear with me--it's not easy for someone who considers you to be the best they've encountered.
-B
a constructive critique?:
existing
in stolen
moments
between
dusk
memories
dawn
of existence....
color you
shades
of red
yellow
draped
in autumn
orange
vibrant
warm
crisp
ever changing...
allow me to fall
that's beautiful... all of it is. tell me what you think!
I agree 13. This peice is beautiful...and I wonder sometimes what it is about imagrey regarding the sky and it's parts that seem to express parts of love so deeply. Is it that we are exploring unknown territory everytime we go in, or there is just nothing quite as breathtaking as a sunset and a first kiss?? Just always seems to be such a good comparision.
Thanks Cousin and Sip of Wine... Mo, made the change... miss you like ac in the texas summer....
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