Nev'r Buy 'Em Shoes and Other Tales" as told by Mae Lou"

My great-grandmother used to say to us "never buy the (wo)man in your life shoes. They will use them to walk away from you. Never date a (wo)man with small ears, they are stingy, and will never spend money on you, the way you would spend it on them. Never eat pork before you go to bed, it'll surely give you nightmares. Never make an ugly(wo)man mad, they'll try to scar you, physically and mentally. (She meant ugliness that you could see and feel.) Say your prayers anytime you like, 'cuz God is always listening."
As a child, I was spellbound, as I listened to her stories, told often while she was "greazin' my scalp, brushing my hair, or combing my head." I sat on a pillow, scrunched on my knees, between her thighs. Clinging to every word as if my life depended upon it. I believed that this was the best classroom ever, the things she said were gospel. She would quote the bible, tell me stories about my family, and we would sing. But mostly, she would teach me, she taught little lessons about life. Lessons that were near and dear to my heart until her death. She died when I was eleven years old. Subsequently, 11 is my favorite number. I carried the lessons for many years, until the memories faded, like her picture which hung in our family room. Young adulthood and college awaited. When I got to undergrad I believed no one could/would dictate me, my life, nor would they challenge my beliefs and values, yet I would absorb everything like a sponge. Applying only that which seemed to coincide with my life. So, as I was "educated" I abandoned those "simple, country lessons", dismissed them as her way of entertaining a small child. I continued to love her for it. However, I did not abandon three ideas for many years: don't date anyone with small ears, never buy them shoes, pray anytime you like, 'cuz God was listening.
I have since dated a man with small ears. He'd say he was frugal. I'd say he was cheap and stingy, so were all the small eared people my friends dated. I have loved and later been in love. Because of the first love, I was able to enter another adult like relationship with a greater capacity to love another more then I'd ever loved in this lifetime. Both of which I purchased shoes. One, I got to watch walk away in the shoes. As I watched the heel of the "neatly priced" Cole Haan's disappear into the darkness. I remembered the sound of my great-grandmother's voice, the snuff on her breath, the gentleness in her tone and hands as she massaged some homemade concoction in my head. I had to laugh. Did we break up because I bought some shoes? No, but at the time I wanted to take the shoes back. This was not my first relationship. But this was the first I truly attempted to give all my heart and love to another. I later learned the relationship was what I needed at the time, not for a lifetime. Nothing more. I later learned this lesson. There were positive and negative lessons learned during the course of that relationship. I didn't, however, learn not to buy another pair of shoes.
I purchased another pair of shoes, for yet, another love interest. When I picked them, I thought they were needed. Nice, comfortable. Nothing elaborate. I did not think of the lesson my great-grandmother taught me, until I was out of the store. I was relieved when they didn't fit. I carried them in my car for a few days contemplating if I should return the shoes for a smaller size, or lie and say they didn't have anymore. I feared the "shoe thing" could be true. But, I didn't lie nor did I share my notion. I just returned the shoes for a smaller size. I did exchange them, because the store was out of the ones I originally purchased. Nonetheless, it happened again. Except I didn't get the opportunity to watch them walk away into the darkness or the light for that matter. So I ask the infamous question as quoted by Mars Blackmon, "Money, is it the shoes?". Obviously it's not the shoes. But I do know that I am going to revisit those little lessons and apply them to my life. Starting with if I really love the person I am not going to buy any damn shoes.
Oh yea, the third one? Well, I'm praying right now, for me, you, the pair of Cole Haans and the pair of Adidas, this blog is a kind of prayer, ya know? 'Cuz I know God is always listening.