All this from colored boxes?

Your Existing Situation
Active, outgoing, and restless. Feels frustrated by the slowness with which events develop along the desired lines. This leads to irritability, changeability, and lack of persistence when pursuing a given objective.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. As such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Emotionally inhibited. Feels forced to compromise, making it difficult for her to form a stable emotional attachment.
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Your Desired Objective
Wants interesting and exciting things to happen. Able to make herself well-liked by her obvious interest and by the very openness of her charm. Over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming.

Your Actual Problem
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.

Your Actual Problem #2
Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality.

I'm developing allergies of some sort. Or I'm extremely stressed and am breaking out in hives. Either way, I have an itch I cannot seem to satisfyingly scratch. Metaphorically speaking, yet the theme of my current life's situation. I have done some soul searching in an attempt to recognize the source. Do I have a food allergy? Is it something in the air? My job? My house? Finances? Personal relationships? I have found myself in a pretty good place, physically and emotionally. But am I really satisfied, or am I lying to myself? Could things be better? Yes, of course. Yet, I don't pray for the lottery, perfection, the unattainable, just a 20% raise (I love my job) or, a similar job with 20% more money (again, I love my job). Why 20%, because I'm not greedy. 'Cuz I want to be comfortable. 'Cuz I imagine it would be enough. I don't want more then my share, just enough. Now, if the GODS of the heaven's and earth's are listening, more is cool. I won't turn it down. You know?
I also pray, want, have a need for, desire unconditional love. I pray that I have a love in my life that is free of fear, insecurities, and selfishness. I am working at attempting to be selfless and to love others in the purest form. And no, I am not attempting to do that with everyone. Just one person at a time. It is a personal quest. I believe by doing so it will free me of much negativity. I've even stopped responding to what I deem stupid and judgmental comments made about my behavior and character, under the guise that it's cute, and they know me so well. I smile, and allow them to be themselves. I secretly pray that they would allow me the same peace of mind. To allow me to be me, free of NAME CALLING OR DESCRIPTIVE REGARDING MY BEHAVIOR.... I wonder what would happen if I called one friend's behavior that of a busy body, another's nosy, or another's holier then thou.. You get the picture? I would be wrong. Or if I were to practice my idea of being nonjudgmental, deemed the behavior unacceptable and separated myself from them I would be wrong, why is 13 not speaking to me, etc. But they just don't get it. They don't get that pebbles thrown do come back as stones to bust you in the ass when you least expect it.... It's karma. So 20% more finances and unconditional love (a form of spirituality) have been the constant themes of 2005.
As far as the itch goes, my stress source is pretty accurate. It is also a direct contradiction, the opposite direction of the path I am attempting to follow. And my actual problem #2 is getting me into trouble as I attempt to implement the political savvy of my Boy Langston aka B into my everyday life. Not trouble in the sense of, "it's not working", in fact it is, but it has put me on this path, of wanting to do and be better. And wanting to be better is a direct result of my current relationship. Another quest, as stated earlier unconditional love. There's nothing more then allowing yourself to become the person you see in the reflection of your love's eyes. I can say it feels good on days when I've been that person. The one that brings smiles to eyes and lips. Funny how the mind works.....
And I got all of this from playing with a few colored boxes......
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