yo y el mono en la pared

Overheard..
last night, I probably heard too damn much...
i went out for what i believed to be a chill night.. it wasn't.. most of you who read my blog were there, and witnessed it. there's no need to go into it..

My HORRIBLESCOPE for today:
Aquarius (1/20-2/18)
This is a phase in your life where you should try to organize negative feelings
Try to live up to your expectations today -- responsibility is a key issue for you and all it takes is one big show for you to feel incredibly good about yourself. Of course, others feel even better about you!

WTF for real? come on!
okay well a sum of feelings i guess..
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there is no poem... i don't want it to be negative (LOL)
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p.s. i care about everyone, it is my humanity. last night i did what i believed was best for OUR VENUE/OUR NEO HOME. i don't have a dog in this fight, and don't want to hear your's barking. i care about myself too much to get involved in your shhhhh
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I’m pushing poetry
like a hustla pushes rocks
An agent pushes jocks
trigger fingers on glocks
tick tocks on clocks
Cuz the second I stop
jabbing my jaws
to breathe and pause,
so will the applause..
and i'd be forced to see my flaws
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this slam thing, as much as i like it, is deadly. it's an effing game. it's survivor meets american idol meets prostitution. use your tongue, lips and mouth to out wit, out play, out perform. PERIOD. it doesn't mean you're the best poet. you're just the best poet to 5 judges (or you gave the best mind fck to 5 Johns!) that night.. Hell, i've loved it (slam) like the next when i've won, so i know how good it feels. but i also loved it when i lost. ;0) (LOL)
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i am a poet,
lost..
i prostitute my poems for props
and jaw drops;
never considering what i think is hot
others may feel is NOT!!!
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i've lost associates (if we were REALLY friends a score or team membership could never divide us) over a simple slam and 50.00 dollars. My ex would say, "i bought you cheap or i bought my freedom from you rather cheaply."
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"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit." -- Aristotle (4th century B.C.)
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this is my motto. thanks Selah for recognizing that. last night she and i had a brief conversation at the bar. she acknowledged a simple truth, my truth regarding friendship. i told her i truly like everyone i meet, i just don't consider everyone to be a friend. and associates feel it MOST when i am amongst my friends. at times, i generally want more friends, yet it takes time to develop a relationship based on "mutual honesty, trust and respect." and that's what i want. there are people who would consider someone their friend and generally not trust or respect them. think about it for a moment.
my friends and i respect each other enough to trust that we can tell each other anything honestly!! thank g.o.d. i have that.
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There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. John 4:18
Baby, I am no longer afraid. I'm enjoying the ride, and loving what we are becoming..
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Patricia Smith on Sunday night at 501 Studios.