Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun..W.H. Auden

This is a snippet of the inscription left in the chap book, Fuck Me Human. I purchased the book because I was so proud of her. And I had to have a small piece , a token of her meteoric rise as a woman and a touring poet. She was the first "U-21 poet" I'd seen. I mean, I've seen kids do the recitations, but she was the one! A beast, and I believe she was only 15. She was competing at Ego's, and if I remember correctly Love gave me a little nudge, like watch this. She was performing "The Current State of Hip Hop". I don"t remember the score, I don't know if she won. I just remember sitting in awe. At the time, I was sitting next to her Mom and Ron. I vaguely remember the look on Shelia's face, but I do remember the air of love and pride that filled the air as Shannon performed. Unbeknown to me, I would begin a friendship with the Young Talented Poet and her Mother. Shelia, graciously allowed me to be her "Baby's Mama". She also, along with Ron allowed me to participate on some levels with her other baby, The Under 21 Slam Team. I can almost remember every year Shannon competed. I say almost, because today is a whir and a blur....

Yesterday when I received the news, I went into a panic looking for this chap book. I remember looking at it, and asking someone if they either wanted it or wanted to read it, as I was SURE I'D GET A CHANCE TO BUY ANOTHER ONE. I thought maybe I placed it somewhere in my desk as I recalled a co-worker saw the title, and I didn't want to get into trouble. Then I remembered the inscription and I decided to keep it, or so I believed. As I drove home, I immediately begin to try to pull myself out of the indifference and indescribable feelings I had at the moment. You now how every emotion you have kind of lingers in the back of your head and stops? Makes your head ache rather dully? And you can't decide if you want to scream, curse or cry? So you just feel anxious and panicked? Well that's how I've felt for over a week. I begin to question. Not G.O.D., just question... and I pray.

Then I teared a bit. Then I got home and I cried in my ELM's arms. Then I remembered the dvd Shelia brought me back from Seattle. And I felt better. But not good enough, because I needed that chap book. I stood still, long enough to listen. And I found it.

Then I relived, as long as my mind would allow me to focus, our last moments together. And I was happy to have known her, been a small part of her life...

Village, I ask of you to accept Shannon as one of us. She is stubbornly strong, but she has an infectious smile and wit. She's a thinker and a talker, very easy to love. I know I don't have to ask anything of you. I know that you've already reached out to her. Just let her know she's missed..