miss you....

Openly, I want to share with the world the love and admiration I have for you. To let them know that no matter what they thought from that faithful day to this very moment, exact space, next breath, that we... well, you know. You've always known. So who, who would have thought that the moment I, with no memories in hand, intimacy in words, insistence in fleeting hugs, would have to exhale goodbye... and inhale the bitter heat and air from the exhaust and my exhaustion...... Feet heavy unable to catch you. And while you stood your ground, never leaving, never questioning, the tears that welled in my eyes would be what quenched your thirst. Leaving me dry. You asked "why do you fear?" I replied, "because I live." I didn't quite finish.. "because I live vicariously thru your smiles, the brown in your eyes serve as sunrise, the sweetness of your breath, slightly above my neck proof there is a GOD." And tonight, as the sun sets, and I must clutch pillows that have stolen your scent poorly mimicking your touch, clutching blankets that are much too heavy.... Reminding me.. Reminding me of you... You asked, "why are you crying." I replied, "because I don't want to be reminded." I didn't quite finish. I don't want to remember a day, a night, a moment, a thought, a space, a tear, a smile, a kiss, a dream, a hug, a laugh, a sunrise, a tv show, a voice, a late night talk, a long walk, a star, a season, a leaf, a rain drop, a shower, a giggle, a telephone ring, and all the other mundanely, inaudibly exciting things that occur in my daily life without you..... Openly, I want to share that with the world, but instead I'll share it with you.... I miss you.