WHITE BASS IN DA PLACE

I wanna throw - up. Some people, no, hell, I, never learn.... I feel sick... preschool - horror flick like projectile.. uhh.. It hurts to roll off the bar stool. Light breeze, good conversation on the cellie, and I'm starting to think this is a better time than any to break back to the office and get a few things done. Fortune cookies, I hate these mofos, but at least these don't have lotto numbers. "Authentic" I think as I tear the package open, break the cookie to read the first fortune. Yes, I cheat. I take the one I like. Best suits my mood.
Next full moon brings an enchanted evening "in bed", I add, laughing to myself.
At this moment, someone is thinking good thoughts of you "in bed". I would be cracking myself up right about now, if it weren't for the heaviness that was leaning into my side. I don't care what anyone says, Panda Express is like the fcking McDonalds of chinese food. Gourmet chinese food is the tag line on the cup. Gourmet my ass. Now, I could really have gone for some Pei Wei or PF Chang's. Damn car. Walking ain't no joke right 'bout now, even if it is directly across the street from the grounds I work on. I'm full. Hell, I thought you were suppose to be hungry after you ate this mess? I feel like I just had a Sunday Meal at Big Momma's on Soul Food.
Attempting to dart back into my building, I spy He-Bitch, well before he sees me, so I quietly close the door and stand outside until he passes. Can't come to work late and take a long lunch without someone trying to fck it up. He'd be the one doing his best to do so. Dirty, bloody nail beds and all swaying in the air as he switches his ass past the doorway. I wonder what he did to get released from hell this early in the afternoon? I snatch open the door to be greeted by "Smiley."
NEW CHARACTER INTRODUCTION
SMILEY: He is a mild manner man with beautiful blue eyes, with a head full of snow white air. Always pleasant, minds his own business and is ALWAYS smiling. Word is he gets paid a lot to do just that, smile, and wait til the end of next year to retire.
Smiley, does smiles and waves. You gotta love this guy. No matter how many times I come thru the door or walk down that hallway, he's sitting there staring at his computer screenSAVER smiling. I want his fcking job. For the raise. So I can get braces.... After I buy another car.
I walk into the restDOOM to wash my hands, paper graffiti hasn't been in today. I don't see any new signs. Langston and I were talking about it and thought maybe I should replace the signs with offensive ones like: Conserve water don't flush. Wash your hands with your ass... I don't know....
Walking toward my pod, I am damn near knocked over by Viejo.
NEW CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS
Viejo: an older player, playa, loves whinnying, eating, whinnying, eating, drinking, whinnying, Asian women, Asian food, Asian cars, HE'S NOT ASIAN.
HESSMALLERANDFCKINGLOUDER: data guy, ala TOO FCKING LOUD FOR HIS SIZE.
gray streak hippie chick: Keep Austin Weireder Spokesperson w/ white streak in her hair like the chick who could freeze every damn thing up on X-Men.
I SAID A BOOM CHICK A BOOM: Grambling Tiger Cheerleader reformed into a hard working mother. Plus she's a MOFO DELTA and that don't hurt.
YES, IT WILL BE TELEVISED: a militant sister, retired military, from East Austin, TX.
Anyway, Viejo is running out 'cuz, TOO FCKING LOUD FOR HIS SIZE and HESSMALLERANDFCKINGLOUDER are talking to our co workers in our pod. Except you could hear them nearly 20 feet away CLEARLY. It's mad crazy, 'cuz I just want to sit at my desk and watch the Boondock's cartoon again. Thanks Queue!! The two pint size subwoofers are going at it, discussing data and numbers, all of which do not fall within a continent of anything I am REMOTELY INTERESTED IN. I walk in, then out. Walk in then out. Walk in then out. I am pacing like a pig going to slaughter on a mad cow farm.... At any second there will be shyt everywhere!! But I'm cool, trying to practice not being: that black girl with the funny hair, who's always on her cell phone, has an attitude. So, I walk away again. Only to return with, a fcking SONG... A song, right in my pod. And, gray streak hippie chick and TOO FCKING LOUD FOR HIS SIZE are leading the fcking chorus. Let me play Paul Wall with a bunch of negroes around my pod, all hell will break loss. Let a bunch of black people..... I'll get to that later.
Out of the blue my pod mate says:
"Hey, I think my pod mates want to get back to work. Don't you, __________"
"I'll come back later."
My pod mate looks embarrassed, and I'm sure I looked disgusted. But I was saved, in that moment I am beckoned by I SAID A BOOM CHICK A BOOM and YES IT WILL BE TELEVISED.
They want me to hit the back porch for a BBB (black bitch bantering).
to be continued.......