"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." Kurt Cobain....

Stop wasting your life. You will never be her. Yet you believe it is better to be in the subplot, if you cannot be a leading character. There are a million people in the universe, yet you latch yourself to the few that are significant and have true meaning in her life. There is definite wisdom in age, and behaviorally, you exhibit, that of an adolescent, unwilling to accept no for an answer, balking at the truth that has boxed you into your current existence. I encourage you to shadow box and strengthen yourself, so that in the future you are better able and equipped to accept another's boundaries, space, and decision. A decision that does not, did not, will not, can never, will never, include you. Yet, you continue to appear, skulking in the twilight of the life that was meant to thrive outside your covetous eyes. Her life belongs to and with another. Is was a personal choice, and disappointing as it is, people will make choices that don't always include you. It is how you handle it that creates and fosters growth. Unfortunately you are unable to discern the difference and continue to cross lines that have been clearly marked. And often the person whom you meant to win over with your insidious courtesies, will begin to despise your presence, as much as your name.

You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.
Sir William Thatcher/Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein of Gelderland, A Knight's Tale