thanks g.o.d.

1. good orderly direction

2. grace, opportunity and destiny

3. family and friends.

4. smiles, right? if you smile the world smiles with you....

i am going on hiatus for a moment... gotta clear my head and space. see you in august.

Sister/Mother

Happy Birthday Kristen Boissnard!!

My Younger Sister..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

MARY ELIZABETH TAYLOR

my mommy.. (RIP)

chicago and beyond....

• tova charles, thanks for making the trip mad kewl on sooooo many levels. for real... if someone f'cks witcha i'll cut 'em.
• the girls, i will miss you! thanks for the life's lessons it's been a pretty educational summer.
• the city was absolutely beautiful.. i want to go back
• SWITCH, that's all I have to say.
• Mo Beastie, D-Kelly, Deep, and Shannon B.
• laughing at the truck stop/roach hotel.
• a new appreciation of home
• an ELM tree, yes, i will always be thankful for you.
• skinned knees, yet i will continue to pray and crawl 'til i'm able to walk...
• grace, opportunity and destiny
• a sister who is willing to go out of her way to help me. THANKS STINK!
• a welcome home
• notes
• g.o.d.
• MAXWELL.
• poems. I've got poems in me!
• check out my facebook photos for more..

Gracious..

- on knees, finding my way...
- loving you... MY TREE, you are always in my heart.
- friends masquerading as family.
- knowing
- my family
- grace, opportunity and destiny
- fulfillment
- hunger
- langston
- angel/eb
- tears
- lessons. i would do it differently
- patience
- U21
- G.O.D.
- convos with Bug's Desire (yes, YOU TWO)
- lastly you, thanks for making me feel truly alive...

an open letter....

"one day, I will tell you I love you,
and you will mean it…
You will listen to the thoughtful whispers
exchanged between the stars and the moon,
search across the expanse,
to witness a constellation
become engulfed in an event horizon
leaving a vibrant prism of smoky hues
of lavenders and blues..
you see past the destruction
recognize it as a necessary beauty...
this beautiful disaster I see in you and me.."
excerpt from "a beaUtiful disaSter"
kdtaylor, 2009

I loved you before I could ever learn to love myself, again. I loved you when I was finding myself. me shattered and broken pieces scattered across life times - you placing them selflessly into holey pockets. Losing precious secrets and moments before we were able to hold onto a you. Me. Us. Or we. Honestly, truly and fully.. And I. Not without fault, can say, "I did the same." Yet. That never meant we didn't love. Never meant we didn't know the meaning of loving hard, running, tripping, falling, and on callous knees, we clawed and fought. Fought and clawed for an US again. And we so desperately on high wire, unskilled tight rope walkers, wanting to balance needs against wants. love against desire. stay not leave. Yet. Baby, I can fill the gravitational pull... Pulling me. Weighing me down. And selfishly, I want it all.

And I CAN'T.

I can't hold onto a flimsly us with open palms. The first breeze, and that US will blow like dandelion seeds on spring afternoons. We are scattered beneath palm trees, lillies, and beautifully tragic things, like graves, death and feet. We are mid-stream. Unable to move forward or backward. We are aren't a new we, we are the we we always were. Tragically beautiful. And this, this is not our story line. Not the way it is currently written. And I...

I love you. I always have. I always will.

We have let each other go a thousand times, and yet we cling to a single string. Yet the dream is unraveling at the seams...

One day I will tell you I love you, and you will mean it.... I'm sorry this day has come. For all the times, we told each other "I love you" and all the times we meant to cherish and return it.

I love you. do you mean it?

my brother, my husband, my father....

I can never say enough about this man. He is truly a G.O.D. send... this isn't about him, but this is about a moment.
in this moment i realized:

• it can never be relived
• it was remarkable
• tremendous growth
• a life i can truly be satisfied with
• if i looked to my right or left i would be surrounded by friends and fam..
• michelle, it didn't feel right not watching you on the stage competing, but it felt GOOD to have you there
• sarah, felt good to see you grow in your words and confidence - though your confidence in me and our friendship can be fleeting
• tova, felt good to see a fan of the word become the word
• jomar, hell just damn
• eb, you already know
• angel, yes... you have taught me so much, i pray i live long enough to give to you as unselfishly as you've been willing to give to me
• bRandy i'm just glad your glad...
• hustle, what's next week's theme
• ELM - every season
• jono good to have you back young man, I MISSED YOU and YOUR POETRY!!!
• Poet in Law, I love you...
• U21 thanks for reminding me why I never had children!! (LOL) no.. for the words...
• G.O.D.
• u, what a welcome addition you are...
• i mean dang... this only happens when you believe, and I am slowly becoming a believer.
• and u, without you how would I truly know I am alive?

the Slam Bowl results, as if we didn't know? Neo and U21 came out winners. the poets of record. a tradition for loving the word. so let us be words...

what a week...

01) Dinner with a child hood friend. Adrienne, I love you Sis and I haven't forgotten how much I miss you. Thanks for the validation...
02) Learning and struggling through love.
03) The life I am creating and the people who are finding their way into it.
04) Maxwell!!!! MAXWELL!! MAXWELL!!!
05) Good Orderly Direction (G.O.D.)
06) Recognizing when I am in over my head. I'm in over my head. I don't have children. And I've never been around this many women/girl children... It's a growing experience that will make me a better person, Woman and BEING.
07) Minding my own business, and praying others mind theirs.
08) Poems that are creeping in my mind and heart.
09) Perseverance
10) Faith
11) Prayer
12) Taking it one day at a time.
13) Yes, i am human, selfish and self seeking... I apologize.
14) You, for without you how would I know I was truly alive.

my childhood memories are disappearing before my eyes...

we used to play charlie's angel's!

ed mcmahon was the only white man we wanted to knock on our door. if he did we would win a gazillion and get a pool!

and off the wall was my JAM... i broke the (I'm dating myself) 8 track!!!!!

I wanted that damn t-shirt from the last scene in Beat It. He was the person who turned me on to T-shirts.

FFFFFFCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Eimmik's consideration..

i've stopped running in sneakers,
cuz i'm still not as swift
as my last truthful thought.
no matter how swift i may be,
i can't chase you out my mind.
and i've tried.
you and me,
a game of hide and seek.
you embedded in memories and dreams
from past pass..
my first kiss.
u
first crush.
u
u first of all firsts.
yet
u weren't present,
and your presence is essential
to get pass my past..
you hide in
sticky heat..
melting fudgesicles and
hints of frozen cups.
double dutching
double dog dares
and i dare...
i'm thinking...
just wondering..

no poem.. this is nothing other than thoughts...

Eimmiks intrigue

it took 4 years,

23 days,

9 hours

and 16 seconds to write this poem...
2 quarts of blood pushing

3000 cells thrusting rhythmically pumping

113 heart beats pushing

6 faint breaths to put

my feelings to words.
words to page.
page to wind.
wind to light breeze;

gracing the mist atop the pout of your lips.

your taste saltine sweet

haunts my memories dreams...
i'm reaching for you

in the darkness...

asking, "do you feel me?"
and if you feel me,

Baby, can you hear me?
rustling thru blood rich dirt

brown, gold and red leaves

clutching your fingertips;

clinging to your ankles

crackling beneath your feet.

crawling 'tween the thick of thighs.

sweetened sweat gleam and beaded.

sighs fall and rise.

I want to keep you grounded!

be reminiscent of summer nights, when we made love in the shadows.

Notte nera serena.

backs arched achingly against

the dampened soil

and rainy skies..

twilight slips from the heaven in your eyes..

i am an angel seeking your forgiveness

and redemptive touch.

Now more than ever..

I need you to hear me.

Baby, I'm begging,

"do you feel me?"

to be continued...

kdtaylor, 2009

section 8 coffee publications

all rights reserved

fathers day

happy fathers day -
roy e. (father)
edward mc (pops)
trap francis (next lifetime dad)
hustle
springs!
copa
tony francis
langston - no you are not a father... you are sooooooooo much more!
and all my single mama's holding it down....

what a friggin week!

01) a visit from a friend from San Antonio. Her cuz was fiyah on the mic!
02) seeing him so friggin happy to host.
03) i got my bro joe bizzle back!!
04) for once, I'm not involved!!! Hell yea!
05) and no, never again. we are SISTERS..
06) Eb (& Snuff) and Angel Baby... what could i do without either of you, your friendship and love? thanks for nearly three years of lessons...
07) a journey to me... "I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me." what a beautiful view...
08) the (Sub)Urban Hangsuite.
09) intriguing opportunities...
10) starting over. our growth. perhaps we can say this is truly OUR first time?
11) grace, opportunity and destiny.
12) chucks, see you tuesday.
13) you, how would i know i was truly alive?

ROFLMAO - 20 day challenge! Any takers?

1. Seek contact. This is a bit counter-intuitive. If you don't like someone, you probably feel like avoiding that person, but because of the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect, we tend to like people better the more we see them.
2. Do nice things for that person. “We prefer to see those to whom we do good than those who do good to us,” as La Rochefoucauld observed.
3. Give that person a brief touch. Subliminal touching, i.e., touching a person so unobtrusively that it’s not noticed, increases people’s sense of well-being and positive feelings.
4. Lighten up. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you can manage it, laugh about it with that person, or poke fun at your own reaction. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings like a good laugh. This can be tough, however.
5. Act friendly. We think we act because of the way we feel, but often we feel because of the way we act. So act the way you want to feel. This is uncannily effective—just try it.
6. Resist criticizing that person. When you voice your complaints, they assume a solidity in your mind that’s hard to eliminate. When your thoughts remain unspoken, they can more easily be changed.
7. Remember happy shared experiences. Recalling good times elevates mood and will help warm your feelings.
8. Be grateful. Reflecting on reasons to feel grateful, instead of reasons to be angry or annoyed, will help change your view.
courtesy of yahoo

i still well up when i think of the day the first time i held him!!

my nephew graduated

grace, opportunity and destiny

i spent time with my family

i spent time with ELM

god's will and grace

i miss have people i miss!!! (ANGEL AND EB, what the Pluck?")

i have friends in love

poetry

a beautiful memory, Shannon... we miss you

her legacy and her mother's spirit!

did i say my nephew graduated!!!

chilling with you on Sunday. we must do it again.

sling and thong jokes...

chilling at the track meet with the Francis Clan!

Robert L Price, Jr. and facebook! WHAT..

fund-raising, yes please donate. http://www.tywc.org/

you, without you how would i know i was alive

Being Aristotle...

"We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we'd rather have those because we've acted rightly"

A value is a principle or quality intrinsically valuable or desirable to me. Values are personal. They are my convictions, my beliefs, and my ethics rolled into one. Living in agreement with my value system is fulfilling. Living in conflict with my values is stressful and dissatisfying. Anyone who is truly my friend know I will separate and walk away from anything that is stressful and dissatisfying. I will not live in conflict with my values. As I would never ask anyone else to live in conflict with their own. As I have aged I have committed myself to live with purpose. I am keenly aware of that purpose and I am constantly re-evaluating myself to continue to grow in order to remain steadfast.

My values are my values. I would never have the expectation that anyone bend or change their value system to accommodate me. It is also my expectation that no one ask me to do the same. Yet, that's where I am. I am guilty. Living between a rock and a hard place. I have become the boogie man, the VERY BAD person. You won't acknowledge I heard and accepted your belief. I simply believed I would get , you know THAT proverbial vernacular "the same respect" in return.

LOL... Should have seen it coming. To quote the great street philosopher TuPac, "I ain't mad at cha."

.... Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within every body's power and is not easy. that's Aristotle, not me. It is my new lesson plan for a few months... And I will master it, because as me and my true friends (the people who take the time to know me) say "It is so much more beautiful here. And we won't trade this view for the WORLD!!"

And while you're lurking... see pic below: I am going to enjoy my summer in spite and despite!

06.09.2009

Grand... you were sorely missed. Your first Great-Grand child graduated from High School.. It was pretty cool. Pooh Bear. A Man. And Very handsome indeed.

At dinner, I looked around the table, feeling your presence, yet recognizing your absence. It was bittersweet. Your legacy lives on. Funny... The next graduation will be Nique's in 2012! (LOL)

As usual I called Stacy the "vessel" because the kids look more like me everyday. My braces have caused my bottom lip and smile to look increasingly like theirs. And to boot, they have my reddish brown complexion and not the penny colored one you and Stacy share.

Give my mom, Great Grand, and Great Aunt Clara a huge hug. Let them know I miss them tremendously. Tell Aunt Suzy, "wazzup!!" Yes Ma'm. I know that's not appropriate. I know you're still the adult. Let them all know I love 'em.

BTW Great Grand. I need another poem!

Here's one for you: Stacy, Nique and Pooh!

yes....

it's beautiful here....

smiles everyone, smiles...

Through life, on our journey from birth to death we walk very interesting paths to our destiny. One destination is well-being and contentment, the essence of happiness. As humans, we take very interesting paths to our personal happiness. Every once in a while we run into, and make rest stops at some of the most marvelous views and wonders this life has to offer. Here is one of the seven wonders of my life. I pray you enjoy your moments and your breath taking view as I am enjoying mine.

yes, thanks for listening

good orderly direction
grace, opportunity and destiny
learning to love again
comingle (yes with one m, my own version) blend thoroughly in a harmonious whole, the art of being an individual in a budding relationship..
angel and eb.. (what?)
bug's all star
my guy B
an elm tree
without saying U21.
making better choices and decisions
a trip to the grocery store
a phone call that cleared the ayer (LOL)
being happy, genuinely happy for other's happiness!
pictures and matching frames. i love you Langston..
i miss you accounting firm.. thinking of you..
clarity. better than any prescription.
never doing anything that's not us
never doing anything that's not you
remembering all life's choices either by force or forethought, got us to this very moment. Rejoice in it! It will never come again.
and you.. how else would i know i was truly alive...

so you'll know what i did this summer..

four of the fiercest young women in the world. for real...

AROC, MargoTruth, Shay and Perception

ATX U21 2009