thanks g.o.d.

1. good orderly direction

2. grace, opportunity and destiny

3. family and friends.

4. smiles, right? if you smile the world smiles with you....

i am going on hiatus for a moment... gotta clear my head and space. see you in august.

Sister/Mother

Happy Birthday Kristen Boissnard!!

My Younger Sister..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

MARY ELIZABETH TAYLOR

my mommy.. (RIP)

chicago and beyond....

• tova charles, thanks for making the trip mad kewl on sooooo many levels. for real... if someone f'cks witcha i'll cut 'em.
• the girls, i will miss you! thanks for the life's lessons it's been a pretty educational summer.
• the city was absolutely beautiful.. i want to go back
• SWITCH, that's all I have to say.
• Mo Beastie, D-Kelly, Deep, and Shannon B.
• laughing at the truck stop/roach hotel.
• a new appreciation of home
• an ELM tree, yes, i will always be thankful for you.
• skinned knees, yet i will continue to pray and crawl 'til i'm able to walk...
• grace, opportunity and destiny
• a sister who is willing to go out of her way to help me. THANKS STINK!
• a welcome home
• notes
• g.o.d.
• MAXWELL.
• poems. I've got poems in me!
• check out my facebook photos for more..

Gracious..

- on knees, finding my way...
- loving you... MY TREE, you are always in my heart.
- friends masquerading as family.
- knowing
- my family
- grace, opportunity and destiny
- fulfillment
- hunger
- langston
- angel/eb
- tears
- lessons. i would do it differently
- patience
- U21
- G.O.D.
- convos with Bug's Desire (yes, YOU TWO)
- lastly you, thanks for making me feel truly alive...

an open letter....

"one day, I will tell you I love you,
and you will mean it…
You will listen to the thoughtful whispers
exchanged between the stars and the moon,
search across the expanse,
to witness a constellation
become engulfed in an event horizon
leaving a vibrant prism of smoky hues
of lavenders and blues..
you see past the destruction
recognize it as a necessary beauty...
this beautiful disaster I see in you and me.."
excerpt from "a beaUtiful disaSter"
kdtaylor, 2009

I loved you before I could ever learn to love myself, again. I loved you when I was finding myself. me shattered and broken pieces scattered across life times - you placing them selflessly into holey pockets. Losing precious secrets and moments before we were able to hold onto a you. Me. Us. Or we. Honestly, truly and fully.. And I. Not without fault, can say, "I did the same." Yet. That never meant we didn't love. Never meant we didn't know the meaning of loving hard, running, tripping, falling, and on callous knees, we clawed and fought. Fought and clawed for an US again. And we so desperately on high wire, unskilled tight rope walkers, wanting to balance needs against wants. love against desire. stay not leave. Yet. Baby, I can fill the gravitational pull... Pulling me. Weighing me down. And selfishly, I want it all.

And I CAN'T.

I can't hold onto a flimsly us with open palms. The first breeze, and that US will blow like dandelion seeds on spring afternoons. We are scattered beneath palm trees, lillies, and beautifully tragic things, like graves, death and feet. We are mid-stream. Unable to move forward or backward. We are aren't a new we, we are the we we always were. Tragically beautiful. And this, this is not our story line. Not the way it is currently written. And I...

I love you. I always have. I always will.

We have let each other go a thousand times, and yet we cling to a single string. Yet the dream is unraveling at the seams...

One day I will tell you I love you, and you will mean it.... I'm sorry this day has come. For all the times, we told each other "I love you" and all the times we meant to cherish and return it.

I love you. do you mean it?

my brother, my husband, my father....

I can never say enough about this man. He is truly a G.O.D. send... this isn't about him, but this is about a moment.
in this moment i realized:

• it can never be relived
• it was remarkable
• tremendous growth
• a life i can truly be satisfied with
• if i looked to my right or left i would be surrounded by friends and fam..
• michelle, it didn't feel right not watching you on the stage competing, but it felt GOOD to have you there
• sarah, felt good to see you grow in your words and confidence - though your confidence in me and our friendship can be fleeting
• tova, felt good to see a fan of the word become the word
• jomar, hell just damn
• eb, you already know
• angel, yes... you have taught me so much, i pray i live long enough to give to you as unselfishly as you've been willing to give to me
• bRandy i'm just glad your glad...
• hustle, what's next week's theme
• ELM - every season
• jono good to have you back young man, I MISSED YOU and YOUR POETRY!!!
• Poet in Law, I love you...
• U21 thanks for reminding me why I never had children!! (LOL) no.. for the words...
• G.O.D.
• u, what a welcome addition you are...
• i mean dang... this only happens when you believe, and I am slowly becoming a believer.
• and u, without you how would I truly know I am alive?

the Slam Bowl results, as if we didn't know? Neo and U21 came out winners. the poets of record. a tradition for loving the word. so let us be words...

what a week...

01) Dinner with a child hood friend. Adrienne, I love you Sis and I haven't forgotten how much I miss you. Thanks for the validation...
02) Learning and struggling through love.
03) The life I am creating and the people who are finding their way into it.
04) Maxwell!!!! MAXWELL!! MAXWELL!!!
05) Good Orderly Direction (G.O.D.)
06) Recognizing when I am in over my head. I'm in over my head. I don't have children. And I've never been around this many women/girl children... It's a growing experience that will make me a better person, Woman and BEING.
07) Minding my own business, and praying others mind theirs.
08) Poems that are creeping in my mind and heart.
09) Perseverance
10) Faith
11) Prayer
12) Taking it one day at a time.
13) Yes, i am human, selfish and self seeking... I apologize.
14) You, for without you how would I know I was truly alive.