es aprender a orar. de mis labios a los oídos de Dios.

I am reaching my hand to you in sisterhood and friendship. I am reaching for you. I am placing my hand out to pull you up and in when you want it. I will give you my hand when you decide you need it. I am and will be here. I want to reach deep inside you, and re-assure you, and let you know. I understand. It’s okay. I can’t say I’ve been where you are, but I’ve been some where near there. And it’s tiring. I know what it’s like to have a million answers to a thousand questions and not have the skill to solve the biggest mystery of them all. The key to personal happiness. And now, WHY? Why is this happening.....

And I know, the many answers doubled with questions silence your spirit and arrest your soul, creating restless night, after night, after knight, after knight. And after reaching for the answers to everyone's problems, your personal goals, him, him and him.. reaching toward the darkened solitude of your mind is the only thing you know. ‘cuz, right now, it feels like the only thing you have left. I can tell you it isn't. You know that already. You know it is not the solace you need. Yet it feels good. And I know it makes you believe that you are at peace. It’s simply ONE piece of the pieces of the puzzle that puzzles the peace most and keeps us one piece shy of solving the puzzle.

I’m perplexed. I’ve never been good at puzzles. I’ve never had the patience but I'm good at riddles, and I'm listening. I'm listening closely for the alliterate verse and the double meaning behind each of your words. Because I want to solve you. I want to solve your problems for you.

And I like to believe I've been a good friend and that I'm good with you. I’m quick on my feet and slick with the lips, so I always believed that if, and that’s a big IF, the time came and there was a problem I could find the right words, to snatch you from the person I believed wronged, hurt or tried to take you from me. My active imagination would have never allowed me to believe, that person, my arch nemesis would be, YOU. My words have failed me and you know I can’t fight.

So I am puzzled, I can't understand why I cannot say or hand you a piece of my peace to make you whole, again. Complete.

Can't completely understand why. Yet, I've lived long enought to stop asking why, and replace it with WHAT? What and who is going to gain from your sacrafice. Because despite what's going on with you, you've always GIVEN more than you TAKE!

And I want to, more than anything. I I want to do for you what you’ve always done for me. Make me feel better. Make me laugh. Make me see the other side. Make me not feel sorry for myself. Make me, me again. Or maybe it was the G.O.D. in you that always provided the guidance…. And now I’m afraid, that I am gifted with the intention but not the action. Intellectually I know that’s not the case, but in my heart, I can’t help but struggle with you through your struggle.I think that’s what friends do, at least the good ones. Not co-dependently, but you know.

And yes, I’m worried and sometimes I cry. Not so much that I don’t believe you can't or won’t find your way back, just so much that I don’t want you to forget. I don't want you to forget that "super" is a nickname and not your label. That nothing in this world can define you better than you! Just how wonderful and special you are. And that I want to be there for you like you’ve been there for me. And I want to sit in the darkness with you, hold your hand and tell you absolutely nothing but be there and listen to you breathe. To remind you that you don’t have to be alone. That you’re never alone.

And when you’re ready, we can pull away the covers, tie them upon our backs, open the blinds, and fly.. not toward the moon, but the heat of the sun.. because that what stars do... and you are my super....

Happy Holiday Season

Hapy Holidays to each and everyone of you. Be safe, and enjoy your family and friends celebrating whatever you celebrate, doing whatever is safe and fun...

Wednesday...

Happy Hump Day!!!

Quick

If nothing else, you can say G. Bush was quick as hell. If nothing else he is in shape. He moved like flash! I couldn't link the video from the j.o.b. google it though, it's worth a laugh. For real...

thankful

• long conversations with carrot top/Adrienne (my friend since the 7th grade)
• people who REALLY get you and love you for being you!
• my elm tree
• penguins and a good sister friend
• making it to and back from dallas
• facebook (did i tell anyone how much i love it)
• my fam!!! dang i'm fortunate and very loved
• wii (i'm a pro in bowling and imagine this, BOXING!)
• having the conviction to do my job well, despite soooooo much bureaucratic bllshhhh
• dreaming
• two poets embarking on a lifetime.... have fun!
• new music
• g.o.d. breathe!!!!

everything isn't bigger in texas!

it's snowing in dallas! i can see it from my room (14th floor).
damn, it melted before i got down the elevator!

you remembered!!!!

dang, thanks for the penguins!!!!!!!!!

misunderstood club 2008

I've started a club...

it's for perceived assholes and bitches.

kanye west - president.

k.i.m. the poet formerly known as 13 - press writer/consultant

sheree from real housewives of atlanta - stylist

more details to come.....

Anthony Hamilton

Dude is amazing!!!!! He is in my top 3 all time performers!

Grateful...

01) for G.O.D. in my life. thank you.
02) thanksgiving get-togethers and impromptu visits.
03) a special visit from my God-Son Zay!
04) two rides to san antonio! my ELM and my Muffin friend (yay!!!!)
05) hosting for two dynamic ladies tonight! even if it means i'm still in my work clothes, i.e. a suit!
06) my job even though... well even though.
07) seeing my nephew play this week after his injury. (he is, well, he and my niece are my everythings!)
08) writing. yes, i am writing..
09) your forgiveness, dinner tonight!
10) my girls, friends til the end.
11) a date tomorrow night.
12) facebook - still my fav right now.
13) xmas shopping! yes, I'm DONE!

Ever love someone so much you want to cry?

Well, here's one of those people... My 17 year old nephew!!!

he and his infamous brush for the deep waves...

Forgive?

Charge it to my head and calendar, but never my heart...

to my niecey, and prize poet fighter and friend.

Ebony

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!

I promise I will make it up to you!!!

thanks and giving

• one hecka party
• did i say i love my private life and my private friends
• my lane and the view
• cirque (sorry k-town)
• wii
• langston (yes, i miss you. even more i love you!)
• growing sisterhood, we have come a long way and i wouldn't trade the path we've traveled for anything!)
• my niece and nephew - saturday drives to san antonio (family time)
• dinner with an old friend (somethings never change)
• oh my gosh, i ate for three days!
• days off chillaxing!
• facebook... COPA i will do better
• abandoning 13, and reclaiming the me before my grandmother died. (because really that's all most people know 'cept for B-Fran)
• realizing that i will be VERY okay if i never wrote or recited another poem
• being really okay with my aloofness (aloof def: removed or distant either physically or emotionally)
• one really cool thanksgiving...

A little late...

Thanks...

• conversations with Jon Goode.... (you are my new brother see you in january!)
• duet slam (seasoned and well seasoned poets)
• staying in my lane, and running the mess out of it...
• a graceful exit
• recognition of things to come
• recollection of things past (remembering EVERYthing, not romanticizing, and having no desire to repeat them)
• new bonds of sisterhood
• let's say, i love my private life
• even more my private friends
• writing a bit
• not wanting to be a poet or thir13teen
• recognizing that the poetry scene is just that a scene (def of scene: one of the subdivisions of a play: as a: a division of an act presenting continuous action in one place) and not my life (def of life: 2 a: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual)
• real housewives of atlanta!! (Sheree, i feel your pain!)
• for the people that know me and my heart.. thanks for your presence
• my beautiful tree

thanks...

01) for the love in my light and life!!!!
02) my Wii and my Mii(s) - I now have bill and hill clinton!!!! got barack the first night!
03) for the fellowship of the wings. Angel and Eb, i miss you guys!
04) weekend trips home to see my family, they sustain me.
05) for the langston in my life...
06) for seeing the beautiful sisters on saturday night. younger sis, believe it or not, you are missed.
07) for the spectacular poetry on saturday. i literally gave a poet my writing pen. I'm done, Son.
08) for drawing a three and not feeling too bad... as well as, believe it or not, the "searching looks" i received after i didn't make it to the second round. (LOL!!! the thoughts i had in my mind about you and you in that moment were ABSOLUTELY funny, and it would be hilarious to you if you really knew me!)
09) my godson X-man, his mommie and auntie (they are a funny bunch!)
10) for my co-worker friend and potential boss who came out to support.
11) for knowing that yesterday's post wasn't the best thing, yet knowing it needed to be put out there anyway.
12) for knowing what it feels like to be part of the original and not needing to "recreate" what's already been established.
13) for the original... bree, mad-hatter, bro bob, dorothy mayes, lalove, ronstable, k.a., mr. whip-appeal aka b-fran, sassy, cousin sarah, chelle, relentless, youngstar! (and mom), knowtorious, and maljazar. sometimes i wish we could go back to skinny sahara and road trips. when we were new to it, and it was new to us. somehow, things, people and situations got in the way of something that was once sooooo freakin' beautiful. we would sit at the table a b-fran's and write. love's black gallant. i remember before slam and scores we were friends and so much more. for real. and i miss it. not to say there haven't been some great additions, 'cuz there have been. eb, trey, brent and joe b came along later... i just remember when it was for so many other things..

bonus: g.o.d. (good orderly direction, i think i am finally able and willing to truly walk away!)
extra bonus: that you two are hanging out again.... Peas in a F'ing Pod! don't get into too much trouble!

I Understand...

Dishonesty is so grasping it would deceive God himself, were it possible.
....George Bancroft....

My character defect in life appears to be that I was and continue to be an old woman trapped in a young body. That's why my girl Eb, calls me "Auntie". I am the crazy Aunt that will almost do or say anything. I call it"real". You always know where you stand with me, as long as you're willing to ask. Some will callme "mean" out of ignorance and not knowing the language. It would be mean in the african american/afro american/black/colored folk vernacular and not in actuality or the King's English.

There is no evidence that the CORRECT definition of mean has anything to do with your spirit or your heart.

1. I mean not to befriend everyone. definition: to have in the mind as a purpose
2. I really mean that statement. definition: to serve or intend to convey, show, or indicate
3. True purposeful and lasting friendships mean everything to me. definition: to have importance to the degree of.
4. Everyone does not mean you or me well. definition: to direct to a particular individual

Creativity is a mother, but must you create a life? Man, just go out and live YOURS. Do you Boo, do you. It works so much better that way. How many people must you continue to get involved in nonsense and hurt in order to build your self esteem and LEGION of shallow friendships? Ask any one true member of the community. This community is flighty. Your crap will come back to bite you in the ass.

I am not an adolescent or young adult looking for any one or thing to sustain me. I would rather have a handful of good people that I can truly rely on than a million who want nothing more than another phone number, facebook contact, and myspace friend.

Angel, I know, but this had to be posted. Yes, I know one giant step back for bullsh.. kind.

Lastly to you, my Man. Sorry to see and hear that you gave in to the bullsh. It's easier to hear the people smiling in your face than to remember the people who, even when they KNEW you wouldn't like what they said, said it anyway. That's always been me. So yes, there is an element of truth to what you've been told. You know, but half truths can be just as dishonest as lie. No matter what the packaging. People love to get to you when you're down. Heard about your recent battles so it seems you're pretty ripe for the picking. When you get tired of the nonsense, you know how to find me. I don't dislike anyone person, I dislike behaviors people exhibit, even my own. I will still be here, because I believed our friendship was a lasting one. So even if you're pissed, you can always count on me. Regardless...

you're still here...

Happy Birthday Grand....

MARGARET R. BELISLE

love you and miss you...

Once Upon a Time we were 'iggas. NEW RULES

01) Make eye contact and speak to other black people ! Brothers and Sisters let's acknowledge each other on the street. Never let a person of color pass with out saying hello...
02) STOP USING THE N-Word! I mean a brother now holds the highest leadership position in the free world. Can we finally evolve? Would you really call the President of the United States an "igga"?
03) OUR WORK IS NOT DONE! Remember back in the day when everyone was down for the struggle, freedom was at hand, and we could just taste it? It was so cool. Well guess what, we're in the midst of it. Let's continue to get our hands dirty, continue to mobilize. Continue to build communities and bridge families.
04) Sisters stop emasculating Brothers. A strong sister stood on that stage along side of him. She was referred to as HIS BEST FRIEND. Just think what would happen if we all uplifted Brothers.
05) Brothers respect and love your Sisters. Again, theirs is a partnership based on MUTUAL respect, honesty and trust.
06) Sisters can we now stop referring to ourselves as a "Bitch" or anything similarly derogatory. We don't just have a Black Man running our country, we have a Sister by his side. You don't think she got anywhere in her life by referring to herself as a "Bitch" do you?
07) BE ON TIME!!! What do you think would have happened if Barack had decided at anytime during his journey to procrastinate, decided to make an "appearance " on CPT or just said, "f'it, they'll wait for me"?
08) Stop making excuses. The road may be tough, yet there is a path to success. A black man has been in Space and now a black Family will move into the White House.
09) Bring back the black family. If you have a baby's mama or baby's daddy, at least learn how to become their friend. Or let's change the paradigm, and not have a baby's mama or baby's daddy, but a mother, father, wife or husband.
10) Remain calm in the face of your critics (at least publicly). There were many criticisms and challenges, yet we never saw him lose his cool. We are all capable of doing so!!!!
11) Be PRIDEFUL. Be a role model. The world is looking at US as a PEOPLE. Let's return to the graciously humble and beautiful people our ancestors were. In our short American history, at our height, and greatest level of successes, we were articulate, beautiful and humble. I'm not asking you to be someone you aren't, I'm simply asking you to be who you were born to become. Listen to your bloodlines. They don't lie.
12) Dream and DREAM BIG. We're here because someone endured the greatest challenges and struggles of their lives. They birthed the generations before us, who had a dream, individually and collectively for their children and their children's children. They dreamed in spite and despite.
13) Don't go out and name every child Barack or Baracka (for girls). I know. I know, it's hard not too.

Barack taught us about the audacity of hope, let's not have the audacity to realize our dreams..

Gratitude...

Thank you G.O.D.

In my lifetime.... We can never look back. Yes... Yes, WE CAN!

Obama Electorial College 297!!! early though

We are less than 24 hours away....

Enough Already

okay, i've been voting since i got my driver's license. why on earth would anyone not have exercised that right? why would anyone feel the need to text, e-mail, call, and otherwise harass a civic minded individual such as myself?

i say all that to say this: "FIND YOUR STOOPID FRIENDS, E-MAIL AND/OR TEXT THEM TO REMIND THEM TO VOTE!!!!"

yes, I'm excited about the upcoming election, just not enough to run up an ALREADY EXPENSIVE SPRINT BILL (99.00 anything plan my ARSE!!), MY PHONE BUZZING IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MANAGER'S MEETING (that's right some poets have professional f'ing jobs and 1/2 my phone is paid for by the Great State of Texas and B.T.W. GOVERNMENT/STATE EMPLOYEES CANNOT UTILIZE ANY ITEMS PAID FOR BY THE GOVERNMENT/STATE TO ENDORSE ONE CANDIDIATE OR ANOTHER. and it's not like I have McCain friends ), or just otherwise HARASSING me while I am SLEEPING OR PLAYING WII!

Enough all f'ing ready.

AND YES, I ALREADY VOTED DAMN IT!

10.22.08 gratitude

• a new baby boy Xavier! i get to babysit.
• f'ing allergies are getting the best of me.
• hosting game night was pretty cool!
• my niece played very well. I was extremely proud of her.
• playing Wii last night and getting my butt kicked. those of you that know me know i let certain people win. (LOL)
• seeing my sister over the weekend. gosh i miss her, the weekly trips help though.
• missing my nephew this past weekend.
• ohh.. learning to let go, i learned i really still dislike a certain type of person. pray for me please!!!!
• reading, i am now reading the House on Sugar Beach.
• jon goode is coming soon...
• a 50th anniversary party i get to dress up for!!!! i mean for real 50 years without killing each other. they are like my girl's parents below except that got that old old school twist to them. (can i find someone who would want to spend fifty years with me?) LMAO!!
• did i say my allergies are getting the best of me?
• i met my best girl in austin's parents on sunday, they are cute as heck and extremely FUNNY.
• they loved dinner at the house earlier this evening. Now i have to talk to her, but i want a whole blog about them. they are soo cute together. it's that old school, still kind of young love. you know people just fit? nothing over dramatic they just fit. that's the type of love i strive for in my life.
• g.o.d. in those who touched me this week (good bad or indifferent).. really. thanks. i am a better person for it.

funny..

this happened i promise, and it's been happening to me since the second week of september. the day i got the f'ng braces. now mind you, i also wear glasses!! who would have thought this?

super bad poet: "wow. i didn't now you had braces? when'd you get them?"
me: "about a month ago."
superbad poet: "you know that changes things, i have this thing with braces. i think it's cute. i really like girls with braces. i might have to.."

no that's enough.... that's enough already.. now if i were single, i would have the best time of my life right now. and most of you know i've never really dated!!!!

NOTE TO SEE IF THERE IS A NEXT LIFETIME: Get your braces while you are YOUNG. It seems it makes you hellacuter to some of the most SEXY NERD PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

and believe me, i love Nerds. the more books, comic, cartoon, poetry, science, math, video games and intelligent things you're into the hotter you are to me.

i notice a brain more than anything else. that's all.

10.15.08 gratitude

• the color purple... it was GREAT!!!! I didn't realize they would follow the book and not the movie though.. I don't think the group of Baptist women who sat in the front of us read the book either.
• the color yellow makes me smile. can't see it without thinking of you.
• another "t"in my life. and her crazy sister. Oh my gosh, she is crazy.
• that i am trusting and being trusted. that is the true test of our lives.
• learning to see g.o.d. in some of the strangest places.
• knowing no matter what, you are that one, my ONE.
• that dang face book!
• my girl shauna in San Antonio.
• i get to see my niece play Volleyball this weekend!!!
• two great weeks of poetry, can we get a third?
• jon goode in a couple weeks!
• the new neo sister slam team. faye, her baby sis, and j.phoenix. shay wish you were old enough ma!
• praying you will change your mind about it. yes, i'm referring to above and YOU! love you for making choices that are best for you in this moment, and respect it! (damn growth)
• staying in my lane and loving the view.

Happy Birthday Wishes!!

Happy Birthday and "Whooty Whooo My Brother"

CHIRS MIKE of K-TOWN!!!!

10.08.08 Gratitude

• developing friendships.. even though they are a bit younger than me.
• jon goode's coming to neo-soul.. i cannot believe it..
• obama t-shirts for ELM's mom!!! i've never seen anyone beside myself get that excited about a shirt.
• the long standing friendship til the end with my angel baby and langston (i love talking to you guys)
• for knowing you and loving you well enough to miss you miss nubia!!!
• for the continued development of sisterfriends (chelle)
• my braces, i'm starting to like them enough.
• continued growth, spiritually and mentally.
• reading.. dang i missed it.
• a weekend getaway...
• g.o.d. good orderly direction.

for you...

1 day, i will tell u I love u,
& u will mean it.
U will listen 2 d thoughtful whispers
X-changed b'tween d stars & d moon,
hear a voice longing 2 sing ur praise
& prayerfully u will answer;
recognizing that
it’s not me,
but d woman i aspire 2 b'come.
b'cuz right now,
i’m not really fit 4 me

let alone us...
there was a time when d bend of u,
curved 2 d shape of we,
& i couldn’t tell where we began
‘cuz 4 us there was never an end,
i mean, we couldn’t evoke a moment
b4 we were in.di.vid.u.ally
a u or a me.
there was no such thing
as once upon a time b4 we.
like d gumption of my emotion
hid n d reflection of perfection
at d cusp of ur personification's inception.
in other words
“baby, u were mine, & simply faultless n ur imperfections.”
now i reach 'cross sheets grasping 4

d silhouette that was once u.
u’ve been gone so long
that i can’t remember d essence of u.
i’ve been making love 2 d ghost
that has become

4 so long that i’ve grown accustomed
2 d moans of ur nightmares,
graciously accepting them as a guilty pleasure.

kdtaylor, 2008

to be continued...

Her Fellowship Part II

so.. toasty caramel struts over to a nice place on the floor and begins to search for music. those who know me know i am a sucker for butts and thighs... so my view from the sofa was ever nice.. nice... thrice...

he, laying face down, rolled his thick thighs and perfectly shaped pitcher's mound demin covered behind, rhythmically to a Drake mix tape while thumbing through his journal. (the title of his journal shall remain nameless.) teddy ruxpin stood in the curve of the sliding and bedroom doors. his beautiful, yes, the essence of teddy bear, brown cascaded across the room as the sun beamed through him sharing his prism of thoughtful essence throughout; while jewel and scent, leaned slightly forward, bringing forth that scent of smokey mahogany and jasmine.

the conversation began with the "journal" and relationships. co-partnering/spouses to be exact.

each shared his idea, and why he supported it; without being sexual and too sexist with the room. each listened intently as if he were pilfering and pocketing the idea like a skilled thief collecting the world's masterpieces. except the prize at stake was thier individual description and ideal QUEEN.

Her Fellowship...

So, over the weekend I had an opportunity to meet my closest ATX g-friend’s “Brotherhood/Fellowship/Family”.

One this is not only an equally handsome collection of men, they are GIANTS among men. They range from an eloquently deep shade of toasted caramel to a deep rich edible chocolate brown. When each spoke there was a subtle excitement related to their individual and intimate level of confidence and sexuality that exuded from every pore of their being. It’s been a long time since I was in a room with three vastly different black men, who in their own way held the attention of every detail in the room from the minuscule particles of dust dancing upon the sunlight to the heaviness of the words in various discussions. It was, in a very heterosexual way, orgasmic.

• Mr. Toasty Caramel – Has one of the sexiest baby-gap grins I’d seen in a long time. It’s not immediate obvious, but he has mastered the art of brusque sexuality. I do not mean it in the traditional way, however, he has a straight to the point, no holds bar, I’m gonna tell you what it is and how it is and despite what you may think, I’m gonna be so f’ing self-assured, encouraging and smooth with it, that your intellect will twirl your lips into syncing whatever I want. And believe me, not only will you not mind, but you will wish it was your idea in the first damn place. And please don’t start me on his voice…
• Mr. Teddy Ruxpin – The world renowned sophisticated teddy bear. This brother really doesn’t know what he’s working with OR he’s so damn poised and smooth that he’s convinced himself that he doesn’t know or remember what his swag feels, looks and smells like. (FOR REAL). He will admit he’s single for a reason and that he has VERY HIGH STANDARDS. I believe the answer lies somewhere in the rise of his cheeks and a simple fault that lurks in the insecure gape in his stride. I know that strides aren’t always honest, yet they do have a way of giving up a secret or two. Like Mr. Toasty Caramel, he speaks with an eloquence all his own, always reminding you, to HELL with being Black, he’s African at heart and will not be emasculated. Honestly, Teddy Ruxpin’s says a lot in his silence as well. He’s in perpetual thought and if you really listen, you can hear spiritual reflection cascading from his long thick curly eyelashes. And yes, it’s hella sexy…
• Mr. Jewel and Scent – This locked mane brother is equally mystifying and baffling. Thick locks with a mind of thier own, crowned and looped above his head like a halo. He sat quietly taking it all in, his body sinking slowly into the sofa as the conversation and everyone’s thoughts slipped slowly into his mind. With hushed vigor he manipulated the outlook in the room, though not as obvious as his peers. He asked questions with efferent deliberation. He carried the conversation away from the heart of the matter toward areas of your conscious you didn’t no longer considered or recognized. His thin muscular frame draped the cushions of the sofa. He never felt the need to complete or move from his secure post. He respected his peers youthful presence (while they were all about the same age) he carried a calmed wisdom recognized in great grand fathers that most Men would never know. When he spoke it was like Karo syrup sticking to biscuits atop chipped cup saucers on sultry hot Sunday mornings. His voice took you back to places you longed to forget, but carried them in the depth of your bones because only there did you know..

To be continued…..

Gratitude

For the ability to not allow anyone to dictate who I am.

For the beauty and opportunity of seeing the frustration in their eyes and voice when they REALIZE that those tricks work for bitches and dogs, and not for women and men.

For a beautiful Saturday morning with my bio family watching my nephew play basketball and being that AUNT for my niece!!

For the grace and finances to be that Aunt, man little girl are expensive.

For a hella afternoon, even though I was sleepy, I enjoyed the fish fry!

For meeting my Angel’s “other” friends. Thanks for the privilege. They are GIANTS among MEN!

For intelligent conversation.

For the love in those brown eyes.

Looking forward to the hosting rotation. Hella voices.. B-Fran, Chelle, Me and Shameless.

Weekend...

Okay.. so my weekend was pretty nice. Pretty damn busy, and sad to say...

I'M GETTING OLD

So it started as usual on Thursday. Wasn't a very late night at Neo, but it was a night..

From there, on Friday, I drove to home to San Antonio for the afternoon to visit the Bio Fam. All was good. My pa'ran. Grandfather looks DAMN GOOD. Upon returning, I went to a little get-together/b-day celebration/movie watching thingie. Got home at 3:30am crashed at 4:00am. Only to get up a few hours later (7:30am) to drive to San Marcos to be at my nephew's basketball game at 9:00. After hanging with them, made it back to Austin by 4:30 to attend a meeting and fellowship with a few HOSTS!!!!! (YES, more to come later. I am excited by the possibilities for the first time in a long time).

Here's where it gets sketchy. I WAS SUPPOSE to go by my girl Angel's and then to game night. I did neither.

I took a shower and sadly feel SOUNDLY ASLEEP on the sofa.

And I so wanted to meet and greet (with Angel's home crew) and play some cards with my partner..Desired Butterfly.

none of that happened.....

sleep happened.

SORRY.

BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday

CHARLES E. BELISE, my pa'ran..

H-BDY

JOAN WINGATE, my chizzle..

grateful..

for breaths of fresh air and life..
a week of birthdays and remembrance...
friends i can call family...
langston and zora eggplant chairs, lunch and road trips (nuff said')
my angel and her wings (heart you.)
a week of family (saw my Dad all weekend, will see my Grandpa tomorrow).
my nephew's basketball games this weekend.
picture mail to and from my niece, Nique.
reminders that my niece and nephew are indeed an extension of me (hate math and science, love basketball and volleyball)
the opportunity to learn about me by just listening in between breaths..
for a pretty dang cool t-shirt.
leigh jones (who, what, when)
SEPTOBER!!!! (i stole this from taylor mali) isn't this a great time of year?
facebook... I had lunch with one of my buddies from UnderGrad, talked to a guy I crushed on in HS (Dean Pleasants he is very sought after session musician and the lead guitarist for the Suicidal Tendencies -YES HE'S BLACK), caught up with one of goofy younger friends from HS. psst. Chelle, keep working on it you will come to love it, I promise.
Prayers...
G.O.D.
they found fairy-tales!!!!!

Happy Birthday....

i know a man who can run
the future to a blurred stream
of our each and every yesterdays..
reliving each moment
day by day, one by one,
a second in each and every
breath of our shared life-time.
yes, my brother is that swift.....

so swift he soars and shape shifts...

blink. did you catch him?

yes, he's just that swift.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELTON R. FRANCIS

we miss you......

SHAZZA

Happy Birthday Shannon!!!!!!!

Miss You

rest easy...

bye daddy

my dad and stepmom went home today. i miss my dad already.. he always makes me feel like a little girl again.....

Dominoes...

nothing like playing dominoes with my Dad. We hung out most of the afternoon... he talking mad noise trying not to think or worry. we must have checked his local newspaper online a million times. we listened or watched cnn all day.... 3/4th of his hometown under water.. his neighbor says the house is okay. my grandmother's house has flooded. so has a distant cousin and aunt. here's the rest of the town.....

Daddy!!!

so my dad made it to austin. they are staying at the la quinta up the toll road (about 4 miles from me). no, the step monster doesn't want to stay at the house, doesn't want to be in the way. Two women can't run a house hold she says. Whatever, I guess ELM made three and that was too much. I wish they would have stayed, but it's cool. I'm glad they left early enough... they took their time with Rita and it took forever to arrive in Austin. he looks good. glad to see him. tomorrow maybe some dominoes.. don't know.

go home ike, tina's not here!!!

BIGGER THAN THE STATE? a storm as large as Texas? i understand you despise texas. tina did make her decision to abruptly leave you the 4th of july weekend in 1976. and it was DALLAS, not Galveston or Houston. I mean must the "depressed and colored" areas of the State suffer from your wrath. i'm not saying anyone should suffer, but damn..... are you here to finish what katrina and rita started? some people just got their lives back together. come on man, damn. I don't know how they chose hurricane names, but this one is definitely fitting, it appears the name Ike can be categorized as one abusive mofo...

Margaret R. Belise

The world mourned

I could only hold my breaths
which seemingly

escaped from estranged lungs
to collapse dramatically atop my rib cage.
When the first plane hit,

we couldn’t imagine,

couldn’t fathom...
Then the second plane blindsided

our thought’s memory,

reminding what we'd desperately tried to forget,

the tired, the hungry, the poor...

the huddled masses

drug us by the feet,

back into this life,
our life..
the here
the now…
And now..
I mourn alone.
Four years ago, my tower,
She 5’9 and 160 plus
Stood taller than any building
Straight erect, steel spined,

stronger than rock and mortar.
Eyes brazen,

reaching across miles, smiles,
And frowns…
Mirroring ancestral......

kdtaylor, 2008

section 8 coffee

four years ago today, while the world mourned the tragedy of 9/11... my tower collapsed.. and not to say that i don't feel for those persons who lost someone special in the tragic incident. i just have to bring it closer to home. Grand. i still miss you.

Sept Grace

I'm grateful -
for friendships that allow us to chat, sit and watch mindless television.
for having the love i deserve, even when i am not deserving.
dreams.
simple overstanding.
growth.
face book and my old friends... (validation)
G.O.D.
poems.
laughter.
a job i don't always like, but a job nonetheless.
breathing.
cleaning and breathing and laughing and remembering
E.W.F.
faith in that which cannot be seen but reveals itself in time...

a reminder...

09.09.04. the last time i talked to you. and when i was really hurting and missing you most. jill scott reminded me in a hidden track. i had listened to that cd many times and never heard that song, until that moment when i needed it most. that's my biggest jillio connection.

sometimes i don't recognize it, but i know.... you're still here. you're with me and you're helping me grow into the woman i am suppose to become. i think you'd be proud. i know you aren't sitting on some cloud watching me, but i like to think you're in my ear every once in a while. whispering to me, telling me everything i need to know.. when the time is right. i don't call your number anymore, because i'm afraid someone will answer it and it would break my heart. i don't know how many phones i've had since 2004, i know i've had at least two this year. your number transfers with the phone. you sit above me at work so when i lift my head it's you that i see. when i needed to be grounded i look ahead toward my mom. and of course when i search toward the heavens, my help cometh from....

I am a boisterous river I am a mountains story I am a quiet feeling I am a fragrant flower I am a moonlit evening I am a peaceful night I am a writers thinking I am a wealth unfathomed And if you don't recognize my presence, I am here And if you don't recognize me, I am here I am a source of power I am excited journey I am the rock of patience I am a whisper singing I am unbridled freedom I am the thought from thinking I am a love unshattered... jill scott

super woman, if you fly by one night,

I am reaching my hand to you in sisterhood and friendship. I am reaching for you. I am placing my hand out to pull you up and in when you want it. I will give you my hand when you decide you need it. I am and will be here. I want to reach deep inside you, and re-assure you, and let you know. I understand. It’s okay. I can’t say I’ve been where you are, but I’ve been some where near there. And it’s tiring. I know what it’s like to have a million answers to a thousand questions and not have the skill to solve the biggest mystery of them all. The key to personal happiness.
And I know, the many answers doubled with questions silence your spirit and arrest your soul, creating restless night, after night, after knight, after knight. And after reaching for the answers to everyone's problems, your personal goals, him, him and him.. reaching toward the darkened solitude of your mind is the only thing you know. ‘cuz, right now, it feels like the only thing you have left. I can tell you it isn't. You know that already. You know it is not the solace you need. Yet it feels good. And I know it makes you believe that you are at peace. It’s simply ONE piece of the pieces of the puzzle that puzzles the peace most and keeps us one piece shy of solving the puzzle. (alliterative verse)
I’m perplexed. I’ve never been good at puzzles. I’ve never had the patience but I'm good at riddles, and I'm listening. I'm listening closely for the alliterate verse and the double meaning behind each of your words. Because I want to solve you. I want to solve your problems for you.

And I like to believe I've been a good friend and that I'm good with you. I’m quick on my feet and slick with the lips, so I always believed that if, and that’s a big IF, the time came and there was a problem I could find the right words, to snatch you from the person I believed wronged, hurt or tried to take you from me. My active imagination would have never allowed me to believe, that person, my arch nemesis would be, YOU. My words have failed me and you know I can’t fight. So I am puzzled, I can't understand why I cannot say or hand you a piece of my peace to make you whole, again. Complete. And I want to, more than anything. I want to do for you what you’ve always done for me. Make me feel better. Make me laugh. Make me see the other side. Make me not feel sorry for myself. Make me, me again. Or maybe it was the G.O.D. in you that always provided the guidance…. And now I’m afraid, that I am gifted with the intention but not the action. Intellectually I know that’s not the case, but in my heart, I can’t help but struggle with you through your struggle.
I think that’s what friends do, at least the good ones. Not co-dependently, but you know.
And yes, I’m worried and sometimes I cry. Not so much that I don’t believe you can't or won’t find your way back, just so much that I don’t want you to forget. I don't want you to forget that "super" is a nickname and not your label. That nothing in this world can define you better than you! Just how wonderful and special you are. And that I want to be there for you like you’ve been there for me. And I want to sit in the darkness with you, hold your hand and tell you absolutely nothing but be there and listen to you breathe. To remind you that you don’t have to be alone. That you’re never alone.

And when you’re ready, we can pull away the covers, tie them upon our backs, open the blinds, and fly.. not toward the moon, but the heat of the sun.. because that what stars do... and you are my super....
xx0xx

ebony and ivory

I AM SO LOVING FACE BOOK!!! okay, so I found another friend... i found her through her daughter (sydnee) who was like my daughter. syd was in my daycare class. (yes, believe it or not, i taught a daycare class 2 yr olds in the morning and 4 and 5 yr olds in the afternoon every mon. weds. and fri. i only had classes on tuesday and thursday. i was really good at it. if i hadn't been dumb i could have been the nanny for the birdwells who offered me room, board and to pay half my tuition for grad school if i worked for them upon graduation. i couodn't do it, i liked to party too much. and the birdwells were another story, their kids were similar to the ad i posted a few days ago. no one wanted them in their class, they responded to me well though. i found jason on facebook as well, he is doing well.) ANYWAY syd followed me everywhere at the day care and i took her everywhere with me outside of daycare. actually syd was only two (like amy birdwell) and was in my class because she cried if I was there and she wasn't with me. anyway shauna and i became fast friends. SHE is the FRIEND OF ALL FRIENDS!!! like for real, for real. we lost touch after I moved to Dallas. (i mean she is like adrienne, terry and bola. my friends from junior high and undergrad!) thanks angel!!!! i mean my gosh! you guys just REALLY don't understand. Me and this WOMAN.. were Ebony and Ivory... like for real.. for real.. i have looked for her on and off for about 6 years. the first thing syd wrote in her e-mail was "my mom said she's been waiting on your call or just knock on her door." when i spoke to her this morning, she said, "you know you're elusive butt can't be found on anything, what took you so damn long?"
me i just laughed and smiled.

"...easy bake oven? You got a point, but dolls.."

so i was cleaning and thinking, thinking and cleaning away my thoughts and another september. ran across the HBO project, Chelle and I doing "Dollology" at the 2006 National Poetry Slam Quarterfinal bout at the Hide Out Mic Theater.

i dislike dolls, for too many reasons to explain in this post.

we went hard. that was really a good piece. that easy bake oven and knocker bocker thing was hilarious. you can really hear the crowd getting the points. funny the things we dealt with the weeks leading to that moment. funnier, despite and in spite she is a person i prolly couldn't go a week without seeing or talking to...

i was reminded of something she said... then something angel said. then brian. then i laughed. i watched the performance over and over again laughing. that was a good time.

it's funny when people get you. funnier when you get them. priceless when you get each other. thanks to all who manage to "get each other"!

"dollology, the field of study that teaches..." actually it, the poem and the process, taught me a lot.

tonight...

i want to rest in your twilight.
wrap my arms around your goodnights.
bask in your dawn.
taste the good of morning dew upon the sweet of your lips.
if you let me, i will even embrace your darkness.
cloak my light around us and
pray ,
sing,
cry,
(with you
and for you )
until the sun breaks into a gazillion starry wishes.
for real.. i will...
kdtaylor, 2008
section 8 coffee publications
all rights reserved

Another September

the conception of beauty is synonymous with rain storming in her eyes…
and I want to take the pleasure of her pressure away.
regret swells within her bosom, like cumulus clouds on long, sweltering days,
graying the blue in her lifetime of skies.
her opaque dreams crash torrential tomorrows,
she is unable to see the promise of today .
she, timid in forgiveness, wears anguish like her favorite fragrant;
voraciously ravenous to some, implausible in mine.
the maliciousness of love continues to plague her soul,
and I simply want to guide her toward the rapture
of adoration and love that lies,
just outside the window of her
graying blue skies..

kdtaylor, 2008
section 8 coffee publications
all rights reserved

WANT AD Disclaimer

I wish I could take credit for the Want-Ad. I can't. I was an actual posting on Craig's List. It was filled over the weekend.

My Favorite Auntie!!!

Happy Birthday Barbara J. Moore.. (RIP)

SUZY

i love you and miss you, especially your laugh!!!

Legend
(Purple Pieces)

the greatest stories never told
are deeply buried in prose
beneath crow’s feet.
are scrawled in pidgin
riding waves of laugh lines.
are hidden, haphazardly
thrown between folds of skin.
wrinkled, tattered, torn,
pieced together,
layered thinly,
forced to stretch
beyond what can wildly be imagined.
emoting that which is
seldom shared,
hidden from self…
spoken only, to God
in the thunderous booms
between breaks
of silence and quiet.
at times,
it is synchronized to the twinkle
of gases masquerading as stars
in the light of night.
tatted vividly, tribal like,
around arms muscled
into weakness.
appearing frail,
remaining strong.
lift your head…
like you, it’s simply beautiful.
it doesn’t mean you have aged
it simply shows that you have lived..
having spent each
second to minute by hour
tumbling toward twilight,
skipping upon droplets of
multi-colored tears.
child-like, a picture book
sharing tales which have no words..
your footprints,
rain bowed characters
carrying torched songs
for others to sing
at the break of dawn.
there are ancient patios
upon sacred scrolls,
etched masterfully
in the arch of your back
with each move, bend
and curve your story unfolds…
haikus and poems
darken love and life lines
along your palms
healing others, sometimes self
leaving just enough of you behind…
for others to remember,
to reminisce…
so say stories seldom told
are the ones hidden behind
the rose tinted smile..
in smooth ridge of
lyrics lying softly upon lips
speak..
easy..
sing.
praise.
kdtaylor

what d fck? need a job?

Live in Nanny Needed for 4 kids (Pls don't call
them "Precious Ones") (Upper East Side)
Reply to: comm-804253499@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-19, 9:04PM EDT

My kids are a pain in the ass. Just in the past hour, i have had to tell each one to do something more than once. oldest: can i have soda? it's just a sprite? please? can i? no, no and no.
the next one...don't even get me started. seriously.
the twin six year olds: one wanted dessert before her dinner was over, one kept wanting to know why I wouldn't let nine year olds swing her around by her limbs. (the fear of a dislocated shoulder did nothing.)
Please help me.
I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, pushy and while I used to think we paid well, i am no
longer sure. i work from home, so you get the pleasure of being hounded by me all day long. and, you get to pretend to like me, because i am deeply sensative. (but well dressed and a know it all, a winning combination I assure you.)
If you cannot multi task, or communicate without being passive aggressive, don't even bother
replying.
If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, skip to the next post, because crumbs are a deal breaker. they put me over the edge.
i have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, and if you are judgemental about ritalin for adhd, or think such things are caused by too much sugar, again, deal break city.
You do get a separate entrance excellent studio on the ues. you do get air conditioner and internet connection and cable. even hbo. and showtime. you can bring your spouse, roommate or partner, but sorry no kids. If you ask, can i bring my kid, the answer will be...anyone? anyone? No.
If you can cook, all the better. otherwise, i'll teach you all sorts of things about pasta. (Here's a freebie, butter and parmesean, mmmmmm)
If you know anything about chess and violin i will be impressed.
We are not snobs, which is good. but then again, my kid sometimes swears to make a point. (We're working on it, but halfheartedly, because, well the apple doesn't fall far from the fucking
tree.)Although I am told they are all very bright, they have not mastered the use of the oh so
complicated napkin. This is a napkin Junior, say it after me...Nap Kin. Good boy.
i am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if they are their own. you won't. really. they are infinitely lovable, but trust me, they're mine and you will move on when your journey with us is over, and save for some funny stories and a delightful email every now and again, you won't grieve. Nor will we. (okay, we did all grieve a few of our past sitters, oddly they were all named Sarah or Kate, or Nikki. And Leah. Leah was delightful, even if she did drop my twin babies off our couch during a family gathering. Good times.
I don't want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, I'm just a woman doing my best. I'm willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how i Live in Nanny Needed for 4 kids should parent my spawn. teach me to knit. introduce me to yoga, the white stripes, russian literature or the best place to get a burger in the village at 2Am, but do not tell me to put star stickers on a good boy chart. stickers irritate me.
If you are fundamentally unhappy with your life, you will be more unhappy if you take this job, so do us all a favor and get some treatment or move to the Rockies, but do not apply for employment with us. Also, if you suspect all wealthy women are frivilous, we are not for you. I do not want to hide my occasional bergdorf shopping bag.
If you smoke, please quit. don't apply either, but please quit. i have known too many people diagnosed with cancer this year. Even if you are a judgemental nanny 911 wannabe, no one should have to endure some of the things I have wittnessed.
You gotta be able to drive with a valid license, but if you've ever hit a human,move to the next post.
You won't have to drive in the city, but if we go to our weekend place together, or if you make it to the summer and still work for us, we need you to run into town to get some pink milk, so be able to drive a mini van.
Can you swim? Swimming is good.
If you do drugs or drink enough so that you are grumpy in the morning and grumpier at night prior to that next cocktail, call AA, and peruse craigslist childcare positions when you have a year sober. I'll probably be looking again, and now is the time for you to focus on yourself anyway.
I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, and whether i have rsvped to that birthday party yet.
Help me dear G-d keep track of our skim milk supply and also, also, also, what should I make for
dinner tomorrow night?
the hours are 7 in the morning to 8:30 in the morning. We'd be in it together, getting the kids out with clean faces, brushed teeth and some food in their bellies. Doesn't that sound easy? Doesn't that sound doable?
Then come on back for a fun filled afternoon 2:15-8:15 of activities and playdates and snacks and
dinners and homework and riveting conversations about global warming, hannah montana and guitar hero.
When you do get to go home (to that swanky studio and possibly a significant other or buddy) your time off will be respected. If I would like you to give extra hours, i'll ask. if you say yes, you get paid 15/ hour. if you say no, I will not fire you or hate you. Except if it is a school holiday or if i have a sick kid, then i might ask, and unless you have a final exam worth 2/3 of your grade or tix The Lion King, you may need to help out.
Okay, if you're still reading this ad, it means:
a) i am a halfway decent writer and maybe i really will get that book deal i'm yearning for
b) you need a job desparately
c) you think this just might be destiny, and that you could be one of the few, the proud, the potential babysitter of our dreams.
D) you want all the information about job requirements, so that you can write me emails about how I should stay home with my kids otherwise they are going to grow up to be sociopaths. (If my pen pal is out there, wassup? Found love yet? No? How 'bout that.)
best of luck to all of you in your search for a job. Seriously. Job searching sucks. No two ways about
it.
RLS

(Pls don't call them "Precious... http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/kid/804253499.html
8/27/08 5:59 PM
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 804253499
Copyright ©

this just in.OBAMA, paint the White House BLACK!!!

for real? a vagina is not what any REAL Clinton Supporter was looking for. And a REAL CLINTON SUPPORTER IS A DEMOCRAT! Hilary was quoted, "We (women) should all be proud of historic nomination... while their policies will take America in the WRONG DIRECTION!" McCain, I think you and George Bush drank the f'cing kool-aid. America is not this DUMB!!!! And neither are its women.

Does he really think that even his party will go for this shit? 6000 e-mails in ONE HOUR to CNN! "

"The Vice President candiaite, I belive is most prepared to take my place, that would be the key criteria." John McCain April 2008. Fck I thought he'd pick Mitt. He could have gotten more WOMEN votes.

Obama, call up Farrakhan and get the F.O.I. to be the Secret Service. Baby, my birthday is gonna be rocking... I'm on my way to Chocolate City with my can of black paint!!! January 20th 2009!!!!

also, please send prayers to New Orleans and Houston, that bastatrd Gustavo is getting stronger, 75 MPH could speed up to 120MPH by Monday morning.

Happy Friday!!!!! Thursday was a great night to be NEO

"Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them."
Poetry Quotes by Charles Simic American Poet born in 1938

the obama and other thoughts...

so i decided i didn't want to play the game. i talked to at least three people who i truly like, and gave them some info. i do like you.

be leary of those carrying news, they often are leaving some pretty important information out; WHAT THEY SAID. i'm glad i'm older. damn.

people need lives. repeating only half the truth does not make you honest, it makes you a LIAR. i never get that.

anyway.. i got a grateful list to get started on.

• facebook thanks angel. i found three old friends.


• a new poetry season.


• getting done with my work.


• a long weekend.


• say anything this past saturday was great.


• lalove is now known as meme the grandma poet!!! she has a granddaughter!


• someone who loves me as much as i love them.


• my girl, angel.


• eb and the play. proud of you niecey.


• memories.


• laughing from the gut.


• wisdom. wisdom. wisdom.


• staying in my lane and enjoying the view.


• i no longer need the word frenemy... it's all about perspective.


• i was spying and it looks like fay and ray are gonna be okay. and that makes me smile. i love young black love.


• neo looks like it's gonna be fire, well it feels like it.


• game's up.. find someone else to rile up.. she ain't here.

michelle obama, faces, and other thoughts..

tonight a good friend and i were having a discussion regarding michelle obama and the "sister face". you know the one, without your permission, an expression come across your face telling the whole world what you were feeling or thinking... she brought a very good point, what if that's just her "look". you know that "impress me" look. that i'm just being me.. we continued the conversation thinking she'd prolly be hellacool if she was your home girl, 'cuz we would just get her and it wouldn't be anything to us. it would just be that Obama.

then i asked her the unthinkable... "do i do that?" i knew the answer before she said a word. OF COURSE i do. mostly at poetry or around people i don't know. then i was reminded of the question asked to others but never to me. "why doesn't she like me." because i have that Obama. that sister look. that i'm in my zone minding my business and my thoughts look.

damn. do i have to like every f'ing body is what my evil self would say. funny, i like MOST people, it's just the few i don;t like seem to be the places i frequent. (LOL) no, i'm really old school. my great grand and grand instilled in me, "the welcome wagon ain't always welcoming." and my most recent one, "a box of friendly puppies doesn't safe guard ANYONE from the full blown bitch/dog, one is bound to become once it gets older, wiser and bitter.." in other words, smiles and laughs can be very deceptive. so can the Obama. or the that's just my look.

i think of the people who have come eagerly up to me in most instances in my life. now all of them weren't bad. they never really became long term friends. you know, i'm old school. i want to get to know you. watch you. know something about you. i don't trust anyone that's too f'ing familiar with me. don't know the color of my eyes, let alone my name. and sometimes i want to ask people, "what color are my eyes, are my teeth crooked, which pair of glasses did i have on last night, what color is my hair, does my breath stink?" cuz you know what, they don't know! yet they would make judgement about my character. think about what i'm writing.. let it marinate. it's poignant... that's why i don't write anyone the press they believe they need/want from me.

i always ask this, "what is wrong with YOUR self esteem that you would care if i liked you or not? how did you come to this conclusion? because i didn't hug you? because i wasn't talking to you? because i want to sit alone?" here are a few answers to pass on. don't ever care about what someone thinks of YOU more than YOU think of yourself. i always say, "damn, my loss, are they that great that i should be breaking my neck to get to know them?" or "they need a hug? or my new favorite, "they need a nap!" i don't like fcking hugging people. FOR REAL. i have huge allergies and allergy related asthma... that smokey ass venue, her perfume, his colonge, some one's bad breath, a stank ass, hell MAYBE I STINK, whatever!!! for real, my nose is fcking sensitive. if you pay attention (I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO) i only hug the same few people. we worked hard for that right. you know what, i'm closest to angel and we never HUG. and i only hug people when some random ass person makes me feel guilty then i hug EVERYONE BEGRUDGINGLY!!! i don't aways feel like talking. my job requires i talk all day to some damn body. i don't want to think. and the truth of the matter is with some people you have to think while you're talking to them, because they always got an angle or a hustle. and if it's neo, i came to poetry to hear POETRY... and i truly like to sit alone. i don't sit down anyway, so why would i sit with you, only to leave and you ask, "why did she leave."

and i was wondering does michelle have to go through all of this. i mean "wwmd?" i don't have a perm so i can't do that flawless do thing. secondly, i am not getting any closer to obama than the television so, people don't have to kiss my ass. maybe i should start clapping in front of my face, like michelle does. that way she's not such a target..

i have to go to neo, so i'll finish tomorrow. i promise.

To my supporters, my champions — my sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits — from the bottom of my heart: Thank you.

....And after so many decades — 88 years ago on this very day — the 19th amendment guaranteeing women the right to vote would be forever enshrined in our Constitution.
My mother was born before women could vote. But in this election my daughter got to vote for her mother for president.
This is the story of America. Of women and men who defy the odds and never give up.
How do we give this country back to them?
By following the example of a brave New Yorker, a woman who risked her life to shepherd slaves along the Underground Railroad.
And on that path to freedom, Harriet Tubman had one piece of advice.
If you hear the dogs, keep going.
If you see the torches in the woods, keep going.
If they're shouting after you, keep going.
Don't ever stop. Keep going.
If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.
Even in the darkest of moments, ordinary Americans have found the faith to keep going.
I've seen it in you. I've seen it in our teachers and firefighters, nurses and police officers, small business owners and union workers, the men and women of our military — you always keep going.
We are Americans. We're not big on quitting.
But remember, before we can keep going, we have to get going by electing Barack Obama president.
We don't have a moment to lose or a vote to spare.
Nothing less than the fate of our nation and the future of our children hang in the balance.
I want you to think about your children and grandchildren come election day. And think about the choices your parents and grandparents made that had such a big impact on your life and on the life of our nation.
We've got to ensure that the choice we make in this election honors the sacrifices of all who came before us, and will fill the lives of our children with possibility and hope.
That is our duty, to build that bright future, and to teach our children that in America there is no chasm too deep, no barrier too great — and no ceiling too high — for all who work hard, never back down, always keep going, have faith in God, in our country, and in each other.
Thank you so much. God bless America and Godspeed to you all.
Hilary Rodman Clinton 2008...

If you heard it, listened to it, read it, or heard about it. This is why this woman means so much to American Political History, Gender and Women's Studies, as well as Political Science and US/World History.

I will vote for Barack Obama. Unlike most Hilary supporters it was never a question. I always supported him and his cause. Today, as in the last 18 months, it has been more important to me to identify myself as a WOMAN first. History was being made on both sides. I can always refuse to answer the question regarding race/ethnicity on any application, but I must always answer GENDER. Michelle made me proud to be a Woman of Color. Hil just made me proud and reminded me that I never want to be a well behaved woman!!!!

Facebook, my new toy..

so angel talked me into joining facebook. first thought, no, not another social network!!!! but, you know what I love it..

gratitude

a moment at bnv that reminded me that life is too short...

• three poetry scenes blend lovely (Under 21, Neo and Austin AP) let's continue to move forward.
• a ride to the beach... a memorial and a boat ride.
• the dolphin poking from the depth of her soul.. she is our ocean. (really)
• the beauty of the sky mother of pearl (say what!!)
• the love we allow ourselves that continue to grow into vulnerable acceptance of our human frailties.
• speed sand walking races...
• friendships and sisterhood that continue to expand and reach further than we ever imagined.
• my heart is murmuring words..
• falling in love again.. and again.. and again.
• rain.
• atl love, we need a road trip people..
• the promise of another big chill!
• for her allowing, loving and trusting me. shannon, i am doing all i can.
• radio silence.. what!
• watching you perform in another play. baby imma star.
• my girl. angel. for real.
• looking forward to another slam season. adult and u21.
• g.o.d i mean what can i do without you and those who allow you to work on me through them.

NPS Finals

When I say the night was electric, it is not an exaggeration, but an understatement.

It started with a very moving tribute to Shannon. An empty stage with watery blue lights shining toward a microphone. Neo Soul's slam team along with moi, performed (in the stage wings) Shelia's Poem to Shannon. I added a touch of Yeat's A Prayer for My Daughter (for Jono and B-Fran). Faye sang "Turn Around) beautifully under stress, and Chelle and I read the body of Shelia's work.

A text from my girl Angel along with a few LJ entries let me know my/our/THE goal was accomplished. 1) A beautifully moving tribute. 2) a reminder that it's always about the people who aren't there, who aren't able to speak to us or for themselves. The hundreds of people who wanted/wished they could have been at nationals 3) egoless (not about any one person, or team. I don't think people even know who performed the poem. 4) a great way to start a great show.

Mind you, there were other things that occurred prior to our performance but... you know. I was behind the stage.

HIGHLIGHTS

• marty mcconnell (beautiful for real)


• rachel ( i mean, why not?)


• andy f'ng buck.


• chris lee


• the charlotte team's eerie stalker/rapist piece, i mean blues's voice coming out of this woman's mouth was mad crazy...


• boston cantab (the devil piece.. holy crap!)

the following bittersweet highlights

• my last 2 pieces of balsamic vinegar peperoni pizza from ian's


• last stroll down state st.


• last glimpse of all the poets' hanging outside of the theater


• jumping in a cab in front of ian's, saying good night madison, austin has left the building


• naming madison wi, madison, texas,


• actually naming everything and everyone/team that was DEEMED cool as Texas. i.e. St. Louis, Texas. Madison, Texas.


• the long as drive back to chicago


• telling the team to walk outside and sit in front of the sky cab so that we could AVOID the three hour lines inside.. i mean even at 3:30 am there is a line.


• getting kicked out of madison. damn i loved it there. i mean we didn't have a crowd, but man, DIDN'T WE HAVE ONE HUGE WORD ORGY!!!

NPS 2008

I had hoped I had it in me to recap the entire week day by day. I don't. There are some things I'd rather keep to myself. Yes, it was that good. Even more, magical. I want to thank the team for allowing me to be a small part of their success, and no matter what anyone says or believes it was a success.
Monday Hi-lights

• registering at the host hotel and seeing everyone again.
• Damn it was good to enjoy NPS away from Austin, it had been too long (2 years).
• seeing Mo's big ass wide smile.
• Dasia Kelly
• Walking through downtown Madison aka Pleasantville
• hooking up with Oakland, even if for a minute
• promises of clubbing with Mona (San Fran) and Original Woman (Slam Nuba)
• clicking with the other Texas Teams
• Lovely recognizing and calling me and Chelle out on the street! (2006 finals STAND UP)
• missing most of the opening party
• riding back and forth around the corner screaming Texas in the SUV!
• secretly hating on, but loving them nonetheless, Denver Slam Nuba for being almost as sexy as us in all their scooterific glory!

Tuesday Highlights

• Supporting TEAM AUSTIN AP!!!! they fought hard.
• Slam Nuba's (we cut heads) and their unrelenting thrashing at the Orpheum
• Maze Forever... I could be his stalker.
• Charlotte's Pendulum Poem. OH MY GOSH!
• Ian's Pizza.
• Mango Margarita's at Frida's
• Late night talks with Angel
• Hanging with the team.
• Rookie Slam

Wednesday Highlights

• B and I wearing our I "heart" DC shirts, before the bout with them.
• Beating DC Baltimore with little, if any question and without looking over our shoulder.
• walking about a half mile to go see Austin's second bout, but missing the bout of all bouts to do so.
• talking to Original woman most of the night during the bout. sister is amazing.
• sneaking over to the other venue and listening to the poem by the "other" Charlotte Team. "Let's fall in love like white people!" It was hilarious.
• Listening to Scott Woods do "Cho". That was magnificent.
• Late night talks with Angel. That is my girl!!!!!
• Dinner at Jamerica. Man it was gooooood!
• The love that was shown to us by the other teams during our bout before their bouts. Thanks Austin and NuYo
• Did I say winning the bout. Our set: team-I Am Poetry, Jono-Eternity Rising, B/Jono-2 Brothers, and Faye-Transdance
• Erotic slam and meeting Mason. He was weirdly funny.

Thursday Highlights

• Winning our BOUT DECISIVELY! four rounds of individuals!!! Set - Faye-I Never Sleep Alone, Jono-MapleSap, Brian-Struggle and Chelle-Vee-Dubs. In case you didn't know that was Neo-Soul History.
• The Vancouver chant after each time penalty "you rat bastards, you're ruining it for everyone, but it was well worth it!
• The Shannon tribute and sitting with Shelia. I lost it. But found it. Missy's love and support of the team and us as individuals. Dang girl, I loves you....
• The Sisterspeak reading was weak, but enjoyable.
• Teasing Angel on the street. She is so my sisterfriend, and "social". (LOL)
• Ian's pizza
• Getting kicked off Frida's porch.
• We're in semi's beaches!!! yes I meant it that way, and we are ranked 5th in the nation.

then somewhere in the night, a log drops on our heads. actually the following morning. after slammaster's meeting we are not bouting against who we thought.

Friday's Highlight's

• Slammaster's meeting, man there are some vindictive, racist people in the world, it's funny.. for real. and yes it was a highlight to watch each attempt FAIL.
• Finding out that we are in the "bout of all bouts" NY Louder Arts, NY NuYo, Berkley, and Silver City which is actually the dang ALBQ team from 2005.
• Standing in our words. Standing in our words.
• Poets of record.
• Jono's entry into the adult world.
• B's desire to help that happen.
• Shannon's tribute.
• Group night finals.
• Oh my gosh the sperm in the balcony, just keep swimming Chicago Mental Graffiti is off the chain.
• watching some poets see neo just a little different. Whoever is on the team and whoever coaches, please follow the path this team had laid.
• Berkley's my third eye steal and people recognizing they stole it from us!
• The Open Mic on the State Street. That was the best, I LOVE OHIO!!!! I got to hear Donielle's "girl scout" piece among some amazing poetry! Prolly the best of the best and it was love. Dave H even did the Superman Ali piece! That night was the best of the week.

Even though we did not make it to finals. We did. No one really remembers who won, but they remember Jono's piece. I am happy that he trusted us to allow that moment to occur. I love this team like Fam. you guys worked hard when you needed to and it showed. Thanks for expanding your box and purpose in this WORLD!

tomorrow finals night.

Up, Up and Away

Crack of dawn, Sunday morning, after a very emotional night, Team NEO NEO departs the ATX in search of adventure.

We arrive in Chi-town. We are amp!!! Only to find out

• one of our team-mates has lost ALL OF HER MONEY.
• Denver Slam Nuba beat us there probably by a .1 of a second. (2006 comes to mind)
• They will not allow us to have additional drivers on the rental car without additional plastic. In other words a credit card per driver.
• There is no Starbuck's in the friggin' airport.

All of that quickly changes as

• B-fran always has a plan.
• Starbuck's is less then a mile away.
• we just rode the electric walk like surfers!
• and we cracked mad jokes. (private ones of course, but they were mad funny)

We make it to the rental car place. Peep this we got a HUGE TEXAS STYLE SUV, doing it way big. We wander around Chi-Town, grab some pizza, laugh, joke, bond and arrive in Madison well before dark. WE EAT (or attempt to eat) THE BEST SUNDAE in the world, we stopped at Margie's Candies.

We (The Team and I) all checked into our hotels. Our hotels were walking distance, connected by parking lots right next door to each other.

Angel met me at the hotel lobby and we proceeded to check out Madison WI. Took the hotel shuttle to downtown Madison.

Quaint, cute.

more to come....

WARRIOR- A TRIBUTE TONIGHT @ RUTA MAYAS

Borrowed from 300 -

"A thousand tongues of the poetic empire descend upon you. Our words will blot out the sun!"

FOR OUR WARRIOR

NEO, not the GROUPIES/WANNA BE(s) Stand UP!

Last night was, I cannot say how incredibly pleased I am. I was introduced as the Coach of the Neo-Soul Slam team. Now, I cannot accept that title, for many reasons. 1) I haven't worked with them all season, and 2) most importantly, I cannot take credit for what is truly theirs to share with the world.

We know there has been the occasional naysayer that believes, as they did in 2006.. The team ain't blank without _____ and they really need _____ to do any good, or (s)he's gonna have to carry them. NUCK DAT! Ain't nobody carrying any one. THEY ARE ALL 1 SLOTS. THEY CAN ALL BE CALLED IN A PINCH. I think they showed everyone that! And I truly believe in each and everyone one of them. And happy that each received the acceptance, recognition and appreciation for their body of work. Last night each and everyone of them STOOD ON THEIR OWN.

Humbly and honestly, I cannot take credit for that. None of it. I wish I could. I want to thank them as well for this..

you made my night fantastic, you renewed my faith in words, you truly MOVED me.

let's show madison who we are and what we're made of!!!!